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Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

bittersoutherner.com

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Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#201

Post by accrual »

akomtu wrote: post #181
keiferski wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m not an expert on Buddhism but this anecdote/story has never been particularly insightful to me. One criticism I have is that it treats Enlightenment/knowledge etc. as a single transferable piece of knowledge, and seems to not notice the impact of process and undergoing the ritual. “The journey is the destination” and so forth. Chopping wood and carrying water may be the answer, but you might not realize the signi…

The word "mindfully" at the end carries too much meaning that can't be unpacked without reading a bunch of books. This story looks identical to many stories told in the dzogchen branch of buddhism. The basic idea is that normal life is full of earthly activities: chopping woods and carrying water. An average mind gets distracted by those activities and is dragged passively from one distraction to another. An enlighte…

This was a very approachable explanation, thank you. Do you have any particular resources you'd recommend for learning more about this?

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#202

Post by [deleted] »

bumby wrote: post #112
eggdaft wrote: post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’ve achieved everything I set out to in life, at least everything I have control over and set out to do when I was in my 20s. I’ve added a new ambition after some thought, not sure if I’ll manage to squeeze it in. But I see the second half of my life now as predominantly about “service”. I think it’s important for everyone to have a life, to do the things they love, to follow some ambition or passion and take care o…

> I see the second half of my life now as predominantly about “service”. David Brooks articulates this sentiment well in his book “The Second Mountain.”

[deleted]

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#204

Post by krumpet »

bigstrat2003 wrote: post #168
vundercind wrote: post #126

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Staring at screens all day is weirdly taxing. My wife used to have a much harder job than mine. Social, active, moving around, thinking on her feet, lots of prep, high stakes sometimes, somewhat abusive environment. She left it for WFH and a non-programming computer-heavy office job. After a couple weeks, one day she said to me, “ Now I understand why you’re so worn-out after work hours” I’ve felt a lot more refreshe…

That's the exact opposite of my experience. I grew up on a farm, and as you might imagine it involved hard physical labor daily. I would 100x rather do my current job as a systems engineer. It's so much easier than working on the farm that I feel guilty sometimes, because I know that I work 1/10 as hard as people making 1/5 of what I do.

I used to be a high school teacher and, though not as physically taxing as working on a farm, I feel the same about how much easier my current tech job is.

Teaching is just sooooo exhausting.

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#205

Post by treflop »

I’ve met and seen a lot of people in life and while it’s nearly impossible for a life to be stress-free, the content and successful people I’ve seen — poor, rich, whatever — seem to share one commonality: they found their passions in life, whether be it running a successful company, working with charity, hanging with neighborhood inline skate friends or raising cattle in the country side, and they get to do it nearly everyday.

Everyone else is just packing for an inevitable trip that they know they are going on but they don’t yet have destination. They try to bag all the milestones and pocket all the supplies that they may need, but without a goal, it is an endless journey without a chance of satisfaction.

Unfortunately, the difficulty is finding your passion. There is no way to discover it without somehow stumbling across it, which takes a lot of time and money and only becomes more difficult with age and increased responsibilities.

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#207

Post by Aloha »

monero-xmr wrote: post #10
Aloha wrote: post #5

Being content is like a drug. The fire reduces, but does go out, you feel warmth in the familiar rather than the new, and you find yourself beset, wondering whatever you did to deserve this joy. I hope to sone day some can say the same about me.

Being content is not about lack of goals or striving. It’s about enjoying the journey, appreciating what you have, being OK psychologically even if your grand plans don’t come to fruition. I am always working towards multiple goals in parallel, from short to long to ultra long term. But the cadence of regular life - the routines we do daily and weekly and yearly - are the things that sustain existence. My children, w…

For me at least, it means I'm striving a little less hard, I think is the best way to put it.

I'm still searching for good things, and the next thing, but I'm also enjoying today for today.

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#208

Post by alt227 »

AndyMcConachie wrote: post #171
dzink wrote: post #9

He is not wrong. “If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same” - R. Kipling Media riles up those who have been limited or deprived by circumstances. It waves flags and triggers emotions and creates envy and conjures social ladders to political influence, or financial gains, or popularity and public attention, or peaks of history. The reality though is that those apply to the…

[flagged]

This opinion is the reason that cancel culture exists today, and why academics are increasingly finding it difficult to have intelligent debates about taboo subjects.

Have an example: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/apr/12/this-isnt-ho...

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#209

Post by spxneo »

zorrolovsky wrote: post #23

Beautiful writing. It comes at an interesting time for me. I'm in a full blown mid-life crisis where my state of mind fluctuates between full contentment and wishing I was doing more with life. This article made me think. On the one hand, I'm content because I come from an unprivileged background. My family was abusive. Me and my brothers struggled with mental health. We ran away from home as soon as we could. Where…

1) change your environment temporarily

2) let new perspective come to you

3) implement what your own introspection tells you

I've seen successful people become addicted to drugs because they let their minds idle and they lost perspective.

Remember the devil doesn't come with bulls and horns. It comes bearing gifts to hook you in.

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#210

Post by heresie-dabord »

treflop wrote: post #205

I’ve met and seen a lot of people in life and while it’s nearly impossible for a life to be stress-free, the content and successful people I’ve seen — poor, rich, whatever — seem to share one commonality: they found their passions in life, whether be it running a successful company, working with charity, hanging with neighborhood inline skate friends or raising cattle in the country side, and they get to do it nearly…

> the content and successful people I’ve seen — poor, rich, whatever — seem to share one commonality: they found their passions in life

> Everyone else is just packing for [...] an endless journey without a chance of satisfaction.

With no offence to you and all the fine people whom you know/have known, I think it's clear that there is no regret in living a good, kind, caring life without seeking a "passion" or consumerist distortion. Many millions more people have lived the former than have lived the latter.

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