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Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

bittersoutherner.com

171–180 of 311 posts

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#171
post #9

He is not wrong. “If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same” - R. Kipling Media riles up those who have been limited or deprived by circumstances. It waves flags and triggers emotions and creates envy and conjures social ladders to political influence, or financial gains, or popularity and public attention, or peaks of history. The reality though is that those apply to the…

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Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#172

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Nobody is saying that social media hasn't had any effect on the world, just that the human desire for more worldly things wasn't caused by it. The expression "keeping up with the Joneses" far, far predates social media.

The difference is that before social media, the Jones were your neighbors -- your immediate, face to face, irl tribe. Social media makes everyone on planet Earth the Jones (more or less). And, let's not forget, there were no algorithms in old times, there were no bubbles created by those algorithms, there was no 24/7 constant scrolling (more or less)... These all matter, they all have an effect on the brain and on th…

I agree that's a difference, I simply don't agree with your original hypothesis. The constant hunger for more and more worldly things isn't going to go away, or even get significantly better, if we erase advertising and social media from the world.

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#173

This is nice story. That said, I feel like the people praising "the quiet life" are missing that this man found a companion at ~20yrs old and with that companion had a family and kids and grand kids. Plenty of people never find that anchor/base/partner https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2021/10/05/rising-... It's arguably easy to be content when you have good support around you. Bad or no support and it's much…

I was watching a video about Stanford long term happiness study https://youtu.be/IULhd1UuicA?si=6YezvfwZ5NE5ile6

The takeaway being what you mentioned. Having a long term loving caring relationship is the biggest indicator.

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#174

This is beautiful. Thank you. I think people don’t understand how important just being there for your family actually is. Sometimes it’s enough just to be reliable, stand for good and just be present. Sounds like he really knew it.

I am struggling a bit with this right now. Being a provider in the modern age means less than it used to. It feels like paying all the bills and being reliable isn’t valued much.

Your feelings are correct. The role of provider and protector has been largely taken over by the state. And fathers are much maligned at this point in most popular media.

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#175
post #83

Beautiful writing. It comes at an interesting time for me. I'm in a full blown mid-life crisis where my state of mind fluctuates between full contentment and wishing I was doing more with life. This article made me think. On the one hand, I'm content because I come from an unprivileged background. My family was abusive. Me and my brothers struggled with mental health. We ran away from home as soon as we could. Where…

I completely relate to this. At 41 years old, I met my life's goal, a goal I never thought I would attain (and it's not wealth). Rather than be empowering and celebratory, that turned out to be debilitating, taking me years, until I found a new path. I'm still starting down that path, but at least now I have a goal that will take me 20-25 more years. People will tell you to focus on you. People will tell you to focus…

what’s the new goal?

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#176

Beautiful writing. It comes at an interesting time for me. I'm in a full blown mid-life crisis where my state of mind fluctuates between full contentment and wishing I was doing more with life. This article made me think. On the one hand, I'm content because I come from an unprivileged background. My family was abusive. Me and my brothers struggled with mental health. We ran away from home as soon as we could. Where…

Do you have children?

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#177

> All around us are these lives — heads down and arms open — that ignore the siren call of flashy American individualism, of bright lights and center stage. I’m fine right here is the response from the edge of the room, and that contentment is downright subversive. How could you want only that? the world demands. There’s more to have, always more. Beautiful writing, and I feel this part especially elevates it. Going…

Beautiful indeed. It still baffles me how some people have a such gift with words. They can tell stories and make you have feelings, just magical. I know it's a lot of hard work to write like this. I can write code alright, but I couldn't write words like the author, even if I practice for 100 years. It has to be a gift.

There’s a charm to treating talent as some elusive gift bestowed on others. It elevates the mystery and power of what’s written; you can really get lost in the flow of words. But rest assured, you too given enough reading, writing, and collaboration can write just the same as the author. It’s not magic.

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#178

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why would "hey you can relax, nothing is around to attack you" wear you out?

It signals to your body that you can sleep? So you stop producing whatever it is that makes you alert, attentive, energized.

Sure, but if I slept or rested during working hours, I'd be more energetic in after working hours, not less.

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#179

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The difference is that before social media, the Jones were your neighbors -- your immediate, face to face, irl tribe. Social media makes everyone on planet Earth the Jones (more or less). And, let's not forget, there were no algorithms in old times, there were no bubbles created by those algorithms, there was no 24/7 constant scrolling (more or less)... These all matter, they all have an effect on the brain and on th…

I agree that's a difference, I simply don't agree with your original hypothesis. The constant hunger for more and more worldly things isn't going to go away, or even get significantly better, if we erase advertising and social media from the world.

If advertising doesn't induce demand, then what does it do?

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#180

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a young cs students where even the uni professors tell us there's more about it than just money, what would you say is something regarding personal development to do?

During my late 20s I realised I was very good at my programming job but not much use at anything else. It was quite a disappointing realisation. I started to do less and eventually no programming outside of office hours and instead invest my spare time in different hobbies and experiences. I found gaining these new skills really helped build my confidence. 15 years later I'm not just a programmer, I'm a also a motorc…

Programmers and wood. Best friends forever.
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