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Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

bittersoutherner.com

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Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#111

Post by jungturk »

keiferski wrote: post #95
zikduruqe wrote: post #84

Earlier quoted context omitted.

“A young boy became a monk. He dreamed of enlightenment and of learning great things. When he got to the monastery he was told that each morning he had to chop wood for the monks fires and then carry water up to the monastery for ablutions and the kitchen. He attended prayers and meditation, but the teaching he was given was rather sparse. One day he was told to take some tea to the Abbot in his chambers. He did so a…

I’m not an expert on Buddhism but this anecdote/story has never been particularly insightful to me. One criticism I have is that it treats Enlightenment/knowledge etc. as a single transferable piece of knowledge, and seems to not notice the impact of process and undergoing the ritual. “The journey is the destination” and so forth. Chopping wood and carrying water may be the answer, but you might not realize the signi…

Right - in that story that requisite process has slunk into the background - that "everything is chopping wood" means something quite different to someone who has read all the scrolls, and counseled all the kings, and attained the role of Abbot.

The fact about wood-chopping is the product of enlightenment, not the cause of it.

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#112

Post by bumby »

eggdaft wrote: post #86
zorrolovsky wrote: post #23

Beautiful writing. It comes at an interesting time for me. I'm in a full blown mid-life crisis where my state of mind fluctuates between full contentment and wishing I was doing more with life. This article made me think. On the one hand, I'm content because I come from an unprivileged background. My family was abusive. Me and my brothers struggled with mental health. We ran away from home as soon as we could. Where…

I’ve achieved everything I set out to in life, at least everything I have control over and set out to do when I was in my 20s. I’ve added a new ambition after some thought, not sure if I’ll manage to squeeze it in. But I see the second half of my life now as predominantly about “service”. I think it’s important for everyone to have a life, to do the things they love, to follow some ambition or passion and take care o…

>I see the second half of my life now as predominantly about “service”.

David Brooks articulates this sentiment well in his book “The Second Mountain.”

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#113

Post by lulzury »

> Being content doesn’t mean being blind. It means knowing the difference between a good fight and a selfish one.

I recently watched the movie Perfect Days (2023) and found a similarly resonant theme of contentment and simplicity in life.

It makes one stop and wonder why one often tends to let so many external things drive our lives, happiness, and contentment when things can be so much simpler if we just start to try to see the beauty in what we already have.

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#114

Post by iorrus »

notincel wrote: post #34

This is nice story. That said, I feel like the people praising "the quiet life" are missing that this man found a companion at ~20yrs old and with that companion had a family and kids and grand kids. Plenty of people never find that anchor/base/partner https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2021/10/05/rising-... It's arguably easy to be content when you have good support around you. Bad or no support and it's much…

I have to agree, it’s unusual the way the writer described this man as living a “quiet life”. He was the head of the union in what was likely a major employer and had a large family along with probably a large extended family.

He didn’t seek fame but I wouldn’t describe this man as a quiet one, he probably lived in a rich social network full of visitors, work colleagues, veterans, friends etc. There are very few people aside from egotists who seek large scale recognition for their work etc.

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#115

Post by whycombagator »

twojobsoneboss wrote: post #30
epicureanideal wrote: post #13

“ after a day driving a laundry truck. His bride, Grace, snapped the photo outside their first house.” Driving a laundry truck.. first house.. Life was so much better a few decades ago.

Near Fruitland NC for 365k. Not too bad at all https://redf.in/tmYs3p

Only triple the price of what it sold for in 2017 (126k)

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#116

Post by woutersf »

alfagre wrote: post #25
ornornor wrote: post #15

Nice read, thank you. > Ray Harrell after a day driving a laundry truck. His bride, Grace, snapped the photo outside their first house. Ah the days when you could be a delivery truck driver and buy a house… Not so much for us anymore.

Not in central SF, no. But in the rural midwest you definitely can. Just like that dude.

Yep and they did not have insulation obligations and what not. A house was much simpler back then too (i think). European here so i could be biased.

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#117

Post by 392 »

sentfromrevolut wrote: post #64
orthoxerox wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Get a hobby that you can do outdoors with other people. Hiking, hunting, paddling, sailing, bouldering, volunteering, playing sports, LARPing, reenacting... Embed yourself into the local community, become a pillar of it. Start a family and support your children, don't try to mould them into what you wish you could have been.

[flagged]

No distractions like friends? No awareness that Max has headlines like "forged by his father's beatings and humiliation?" You should probably seek a less results driven focus on life, perhaps with a therapist, unless just trolling in which case carry on. But regardless, there's an article called "Why we stopped making Einsteins" that you may find interesting.

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#118

Post by ericmcer »

happytiger wrote: post #2

This is beautiful. Thank you. I think people don’t understand how important just being there for your family actually is. Sometimes it’s enough just to be reliable, stand for good and just be present. Sounds like he really knew it.

I am struggling a bit with this right now. Being a provider in the modern age means less than it used to. It feels like paying all the bills and being reliable isn’t valued much.

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#119

Post by shrimp_emoji »

sentfromrevolut wrote: post #64
orthoxerox wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Get a hobby that you can do outdoors with other people. Hiking, hunting, paddling, sailing, bouldering, volunteering, playing sports, LARPing, reenacting... Embed yourself into the local community, become a pillar of it. Start a family and support your children, don't try to mould them into what you wish you could have been.

[flagged]

That only works if you get lucky.

It's all nature, no nurture. If the dice spit out a kid who hates football, that plan is a massive, painful waste of time.

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#120

Post by jp0001 »

Amazing writing. Reminds me of my grandfather.

I’ve thought about it this way, you have four options in life: - not rich, not famous - not rich, famous - rich, famous - rich, not famous

The last one is the best, IMO. And by rich, I mean to not need for anything. And that means having your ego in check. The worst thing I’ve ever witnessed is a literal 100+ millionaire with no peace, still trying to impress people of their wealth and self importance.

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