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Mental health in software engineering

vadimkravcenko.com

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Re: Mental health in software engineering

#51

Post by [deleted] »

TimPC wrote: post #22
cjk2 wrote: post #10

I'll dump this one here as it's still annoying me a bit. So one afternoon I'm sitting there and our sales guy John came in (you know who you are if you're reading this) and described what he'd managed to sell a client. I sat there and I scribbled on bits of paper for hours, did some research and went back to him with the point that it wasn't possible from an algorithmic perspective. Basically he'd assumed that if it…

It's good advice if you have the appropriate financial resources or support network, but plenty of us don't have the option to move back in with our parents for six months and need to adult on hard-mode.

[deleted]

Re: Mental health in software engineering

#52

Post by [deleted] »

datadrivenangel wrote: post #5

"An example of uncertainty in business is when your CEO tells you they promised a feature to your biggest client and it needs to be built ASAP as highest priority, so all hands on deck. Then a day later they tell you another feature, completely contradictory to the first one, needs to be built as well and is also highest priority. When you tell them they both can't be highest priority, the answer is: make it happen."…

[deleted]

Re: Mental health in software engineering

#53

Post by willcipriano »

AnimalMuppet wrote: post #15
datadrivenangel wrote: post #5

"An example of uncertainty in business is when your CEO tells you they promised a feature to your biggest client and it needs to be built ASAP as highest priority, so all hands on deck. Then a day later they tell you another feature, completely contradictory to the first one, needs to be built as well and is also highest priority. When you tell them they both can't be highest priority, the answer is: make it happen."…

Worse is when it's a salesman, not the CEO. It's infuriating. I always wanted to tell that salesman that he got to go back to the customer and tell them that we weren't going to do it, since he was the one who promised it without finding out whether and when we could do it. Of course, I never had the clout to force that to happen...

Speculatively build a feature that you know a customer somewhere would want (but maybe not the customer you have now) and then demand he find someone to buy it within a month before the AWS bills for it are due.

"You're costing us a lot of money!"

Re: Mental health in software engineering

#54

Post by steve_gh »

xyst wrote: post #11

This is a person that should have never been in a leadership position. I have worked under these types of people that were great engineers themselves but couldn’t lead worth shit. No trust in the team. Always doing shit themselves. No discussion. Backdoor discussions. Always bending to the will of management. Everything is “important”/“critical”. It’s micromanaging to the worst degree. At the same time, I would likel…

And this is an organizational failure, because the organisation has just promoted, without training someone to be a leader.

You wouldn't expect a manager (from a non-technical background) to just start coding, so why would you expect a coder to just start managing.

Re: Mental health in software engineering

#55

Post by dvdbloc »

zero-sharp wrote: post #36
xyst wrote: post #11

This is a person that should have never been in a leadership position. I have worked under these types of people that were great engineers themselves but couldn’t lead worth shit. No trust in the team. Always doing shit themselves. No discussion. Backdoor discussions. Always bending to the will of management. Everything is “important”/“critical”. It’s micromanaging to the worst degree. At the same time, I would likel…

>No trust in the team. Always doing shit themselves. No discussion. Yup, I've had a boss like this. Maybe my company was particularly dysfunctional, but I didn't have much experience with the projects and tasks I was being assigned. I definitely was not hiding it either. Then when I spent time trying to figure things out on my own, my boss would simply do the work himself and provide no feedback.

Currently have a manager like this and trying to determine how to deal with it. I’m basically just waiting for him to burn himself out from his own constant dysfunction and leave. He’s so engrained in this behavior I don’t even know how I could provide him constructive feedback to help him.

Re: Mental health in software engineering

#56

Post by afpx »

xyst wrote: post #11

This is a person that should have never been in a leadership position. I have worked under these types of people that were great engineers themselves but couldn’t lead worth shit. No trust in the team. Always doing shit themselves. No discussion. Backdoor discussions. Always bending to the will of management. Everything is “important”/“critical”. It’s micromanaging to the worst degree. At the same time, I would likel…

What are the qualities of the best leaders you've encountered or worked for? Which ones are most effective at getting things done while keeping the team and senior leadership happy?

Re: Mental health in software engineering

#57

Post by n4r9 »

xyst wrote: post #11

This is a person that should have never been in a leadership position. I have worked under these types of people that were great engineers themselves but couldn’t lead worth shit. No trust in the team. Always doing shit themselves. No discussion. Backdoor discussions. Always bending to the will of management. Everything is “important”/“critical”. It’s micromanaging to the worst degree. At the same time, I would likel…

It's an oversimplification to say they "should have never been" a leader. In truth, they could have used specific training in prioritisation, delegation, and emotional intelligence. I find it's rare that this sort of training is provided. Instead, good performers are thrown into the deep end to see if they can hack it.

Re: Mental health in software engineering

#58

Post by life-and-quiet »

snarf21 wrote: post #46
dvas wrote: post #37

I think it is so important to be able to disconnect from whatever it is that we are doing, even for a very short period of time. Go for a walk, brew a coffee or simply close your eyes and breathe. Many times, stress is created artificially. It hurts our performance and deteriorates our ability to think. Encountered numerous situations where work was "urgent" and would likely land a contract or sales for the company,…

This is the hardest lesson to learn. Sometimes you won't be afforded the ability to do it "right", either for the company or the product or the customer. Eventually, you'll decide to just show up and ask what is most important today and work on that. Then clock out completely when your work is done and go find meaning and personal satisfaction in your personal life. Go exercise or volunteer or get a hobby or be prese…

I think this is so hard to learn because it's counter to human nature, and only necessary due to the artificial conditions of the modern world. We're programmed to want to be useful to our tribe. But we don't live in tribes any more. Our brains get confused and burnt out because we perform and perform and perform, but we don't get love and status and security in return, we just get this abstract thing called money, which it doesn't really understand.

Re: Mental health in software engineering

#59

Post by albert_e »

sesm wrote: post #41
HumblyTossed wrote: post #25

>You cannot take a sick day by telling your team, “I have mental issues and need a day off.” Yes, you can. You can say you need a mental health day. Adults will understand.

In most companies I worked for the standard "I'm not feeling well today, taking a day off" was enough. Nobody asked for details.

one of the big companies recently replaced "sick leave" (only you can be sick to avail this, not a family member you care for) with "wellbeing leave" (you dont feel up to a day at work, take the day off - no questions asked) and doubled them from 5 days a year to 10 days a year.

I am usually cynical about big corporates and their people policies, but this is one I can applaud.

Re: Mental health in software engineering

#60

Post by Ozzie_osman »

One thing I've realized more and more over the years: it's the operational roles (infra, SRE, Devops) that are actually most stressful. Sure, if you're building product, you get deadlines, but they are predictable and they come and go.

But being oncall for a shakey infra stack? That shit is hell. No deadlines, just the threat of incidents or downtime at any time of day.

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