Live data from Hacker News

The Rise of the Remote Husband

economist.com

31–40 of 54 posts

Re: The Rise of the Remote Husband

#31
post #8

I never thought about it before reading this but most couples I know fall into this category. Probably because they largely fit the "tech guy marries non-tech gal" stereotype.

I don't know that it means anything, but I'm a tech guy married to a tech gal and we still fit this category. In our case, it's because her work project is classified. The company itself allows full-remote work if your project is unclassified, but you can't get a SCIF in your house. It's amusing to me that this article claims it is usually the case that the husband is still not cooking and cleaning even though he's h…

> you can’t get a SCIF in your house

Have you tried having a contractor follow ICD 705?

https://www.dni.gov/files/Governance/IC-Tech-Specs-for-Const...

Re: The Rise of the Remote Husband

#32
post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Because, freed from the time lost to a commute, they may have an extra 1-3 hours per day at home which is not owed to their employer.

Even if you take commute time out of the equation, working from home frees up a lot of time for tasks that aren't all active time.

It's been a while but I did work remotely for about 6 months back in 2020. I enjoyed not having to wake up earlier, not having to "hide" my short downtime breaks that I normally would at the office, and being able to do some basic quick chores during those breaks so that I'd have more time to spend with my partner after the work day. It was a nice pace but since my partner would also work from home with much longer breaks between her active working periods (multiple part time contracts), I would get heavily distracted because she wanted to take breaks together. I really did miss working at the office where if I wanted to focus, I could.

Re: The Rise of the Remote Husband

#33
post #32
post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Even if you take commute time out of the equation, working from home frees up a lot of time for tasks that aren't all active time.

It's been a while but I did work remotely for about 6 months back in 2020. I enjoyed not having to wake up earlier, not having to "hide" my short downtime breaks that I normally would at the office, and being able to do some basic quick chores during those breaks so that I'd have more time to spend with my partner after the work day. It was a nice pace but since my partner would also work from home with much longer b…

Certainly having a different dedicated work space works better for a lot of people. I think I've been pretty good--and certainly don't watch video or take more than short walks during the day--but I appreciate that keeping work/life separate can have advantages.

Re: The Rise of the Remote Husband

#34
post #15
post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

good lord, what a take

We've spent the last 50 years telling women they shouldn't be house wives. The results are as predictable as the sun rising. I don't understand how people can pretend that home management is an easy job that you can pick up whenever you need. Somehow it's feminist to claim that a profession with thousands of years of history and tradition by apprenticeship is easy enough to pick up in an afternoon when you need it.

> I don't understand how people can pretend that home management is an easy job that you can pick up whenever you need.

I preferred learning how to cook than take such a blow to my manhood.

I mean, that's the one thing real men are supposed to do - put food on the f*ckin' table.

It takes a brave man to admit he struggles to put food on his own table, with his own hands, and relies instead on a cook at a restaurant - likely another man. Or needs his woman to do it.

Re: The Rise of the Remote Husband

#35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't know that it means anything, but I'm a tech guy married to a tech gal and we still fit this category. In our case, it's because her work project is classified. The company itself allows full-remote work if your project is unclassified, but you can't get a SCIF in your house. It's amusing to me that this article claims it is usually the case that the husband is still not cooking and cleaning even though he's h…

Why would someone's work location impact what house chores they do. It's still work-time not home-chores time.

I can flip laundry in the time it takes you to fetch a coffee from the break room, unless you strike up a conversation while you're there.

Re: The Rise of the Remote Husband

#36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't know that it means anything, but I'm a tech guy married to a tech gal and we still fit this category. In our case, it's because her work project is classified. The company itself allows full-remote work if your project is unclassified, but you can't get a SCIF in your house. It's amusing to me that this article claims it is usually the case that the husband is still not cooking and cleaning even though he's h…

Why would someone's work location impact what house chores they do. It's still work-time not home-chores time.

Breaks are a normal part of work. Smoke breaks, standing up and stretching your legs outside the office or going for a short walk, pomodoro breaks, coffee breaks, water cooler breaks, waiting for a build and reading a news site or just browsing the internet, etc.

The only difference here is sticking something in the oven instead of drinking coffee.

And I'll add, with remote the start of day and end of day work times become less well defined, so I think many people end up working more spread out hours at times that are more effective for the company (e.g. responding to late night pings, if they happen to be near their computer).

Re: The Rise of the Remote Husband

#37
post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Consider living with someone from a culture that doesn't treat growm men as toddlers who can't do the basic job of taking care of their living environment without a woman to baby them.

Which culture is that?

Western culture, and increasingly Asian culture as well. Anyhow, the stereotype of a man not being able to function without his mother or wife constantly wiping his ass is also just not practical.

Every person, at some point is going to have to spend some time living by themselves and thus has to know just as much as a woman how to run a home. It's too late to start to learn that after your mother/wife passes/gets sick/is pregnant or after you have to temporarily relocate for better work opportunities but can't bring them along. As you said in another post, home management is not so easy as to be able to 'just' pick it up. That's why everyone needs to be able to do it and should be gradually learning as they reach adulthood, as what we call home management are literally just the basic skills needed for independent living.

I'm currently having to deal with roommates who think basic aspects of homemaking are below them, result is going to use the bathroom to find that the last person blocked it and didn't think to try to unblock it, leaving their shit floating in there, snotty tissues everywhere, water sitting in the sink because they clogged the drain filter and didn't care to empty it out, fires in the stove from boiled over pots, cooked food sitting outside for days, garbage on the counters, stuff they dropped on the floor laying there all night, garbage cans overflowing because they can't be bothered to take it out and so on.

Re: The Rise of the Remote Husband

#38
post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We've spent the last 50 years telling women they shouldn't be house wives. The results are as predictable as the sun rising. I don't understand how people can pretend that home management is an easy job that you can pick up whenever you need. Somehow it's feminist to claim that a profession with thousands of years of history and tradition by apprenticeship is easy enough to pick up in an afternoon when you need it.

> I don't understand how people can pretend that home management is an easy job that you can pick up whenever you need. I preferred learning how to cook than take such a blow to my manhood. I mean, that's the one thing real men are supposed to do - put food on the f*ckin' table. It takes a brave man to admit he struggles to put food on his own table, with his own hands, and relies instead on a cook at a restaurant -…

OK, what you said has nothing to do with what you quoted.

Mayhaps find another windwill to fight?

Re: The Rise of the Remote Husband

#39
post #32
post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Even if you take commute time out of the equation, working from home frees up a lot of time for tasks that aren't all active time.

It's been a while but I did work remotely for about 6 months back in 2020. I enjoyed not having to wake up earlier, not having to "hide" my short downtime breaks that I normally would at the office, and being able to do some basic quick chores during those breaks so that I'd have more time to spend with my partner after the work day. It was a nice pace but since my partner would also work from home with much longer b…

  I really did miss working at the office where if I wanted to focus, I could.
extremely easy to mitigate as long as you're both not sitting on the couch or at the kitchen table in a small apartment or condo. even there, you might be able to carve out some home office space for focus work. depends on how longterm you view it and it actually is.

kids is another story altogether. definitely need a bigger boat in that case.

Re: The Rise of the Remote Husband

#40
something to be said about 'sexes in the workplace' here. women continue to make real progress toward equal representation in the physical workplace, which inevitably detracts from time for domestic responsibilities; and apparently a fair number of men are now taking their careers home, to the extent that it permits them to maintain some degree of organizational 'presence', while inevitably taking on more domestic responsibility. remarkable sorta-flip for sure.
Post reply on HN