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I always knew I was different, I didn't know I was a sociopath

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Re: I always knew I was different, I didn't know I was a sociopath

#121

Post by AndrewKemendo »

h2odragon wrote: post #115
AndrewKemendo wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I genuinely don’t know because there’s no rehabilitation structure that the medical system has identified as useful Low IQ sociopaths are typically institutionalized or are homeless of some sort High IQ sociopaths tend to be managers or intermediaries that do not break laws but exploit social graciousness and live in the minutae or vagaries So my answer is: get them out of your org or life as quickly as possible and…

And if it is my life ? I've got a lonely mountain in the woods, way out with few neighbors. me and my hounds can hunt and not bother nobody. I find it difficult for numerous reasons to interact with people in social situations, not least being that people smell tasty . My awareness of this fact is something that people pick up on. it snowballs. It'd be nice if I could contribute to society but there's not that many w…

Fully embracing of one’s truest self is arguably enlightenment

Re: I always knew I was different, I didn't know I was a sociopath

#122

Post by DonHopkins »

h2odragon wrote: post #55
AndrewKemendo wrote: post #44

I’m really worried that there’s a trend to normalize narcissistic and sociopathic behavior simply because “they are self aware” There are a few ASPD, NPD or narcissist Instagram pages which are clearly sociopaths getting their attention fix by acknowledging and describing these behaviors - this isn’t the same as recovery groups or serious interventions because ASPD has been seen as impossible to treat (though that’s…

So what would you tell a "smart sociopath" to do? Someone who wants to live and pursue their own happiness without diminishing that of others? Should they just cease to exist? Retreat somewhere they can't hurt others and live apart from society because society has no place for their disability? Or is it possible to fit in and be useful even if you're neuro divergent?

At least not allow them to buy social networks or run for president.

Re: I always knew I was different, I didn't know I was a sociopath

#123

Post by bombcar »

toomuchtodo wrote: post #113
zoklet-enjoyer wrote: post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

They're adults and can make their own decisions

Might be a sociopath, look into it. Seriously though, this ignores that sometimes, being of age of consent ("an adult") does not mean there is a free will choice available. Edit: @bombcar Stealing that, thank you!

The idea that consent is both necessary AND sufficient needs to be laid to rest.

Consent may be necessary (there can be discussions when and where it is necessary and what that means, for example "consenting" to taxes, etc) but it is not sufficient in all cases.

Re: I always knew I was different, I didn't know I was a sociopath

#124

Post by dirtybirdnj »

idiotsecant wrote: post #88
AndrewKemendo wrote: post #44

I’m really worried that there’s a trend to normalize narcissistic and sociopathic behavior simply because “they are self aware” There are a few ASPD, NPD or narcissist Instagram pages which are clearly sociopaths getting their attention fix by acknowledging and describing these behaviors - this isn’t the same as recovery groups or serious interventions because ASPD has been seen as impossible to treat (though that’s…

some of the biggest names in history were almost certainly sociopaths. And they were sometimes quite a positive net force. Just about everyone can be put to productive use in the right place, i'm not sure we need to isolate (?) anyone.

I agree that people should be given the opportunity for their natural gifts being used effectively.

I do NOT think "I'm a sociopath, sorry that doesn't bother me" is ever an acceptable resolution to the damage, pain and suffering they cause.

If you help 100 but you have to destroy 5 to get there, was it worth it? I do not think people deserve the benefit of the doubt to make this ethical call. The problem with sociopaths is they HAVE NO ETHICS OR MORALS.

You cannot "teach them to feel"... it's like trying to teach a starfish to speak. The only thing you can do is give them negative consequences to their actions. If their actions worked in the past they will repeat them. If those are negative behaviors, they don't see / care that they had to "step on some toes this time".... it simply becomes that toe stepping is now a normal point along an ever-escalating path of social violence and disregard for others.

The whole "we can't pathologies it because the sociopath doesn't think they have a problem" point is the main issue for me. If someone was smoking in an enclosed room... and others asked them to stop it would be cut and dry. But because the person is being socially manipulative instead of breathing toxic carcinogens it's acceptable? Bad words ok, bad oxygen BAD! Why is this so hard to understand that the bad social behavior is JUST AS TOXIC.

I completely reject this. Socially manipulative behavior is wrong and destructive. I don't care how bad your childhood was your sociopathic manipulation is not justified in any way.

Re: I always knew I was different, I didn't know I was a sociopath

#125

Post by ersamsa »

spiffytech wrote: post #29
rapsey wrote: post #27

> After years of study, intensive therapy and earning a Ph.D. in psychology I wonder what the percentage of psychologists get their degrees to figure out what the hell is wrong with them. I bet it is pretty large. Also her gaze in the picture is quite unnerving. I wonder if it is because I know she is a sociopath or would I find it just as unnerving if I did not.

My wife is a therapist and says it's a very common reason people get into the field.

Same. Knowing some of them personally confirms that they‘re humans after all.

Re: I always knew I was different, I didn't know I was a sociopath

#126

Post by mikequinlan »

wtfwhateven wrote: post #73

https://old.reddit.com/r/askpsychology/comments/jqewhk/does_... this person is lying, she doesn't have a PhD, she's using someone else's name

Here is her web site, with contact information (an email address): https://patricgagne.com/

Re: I always knew I was different, I didn't know I was a sociopath

#127

Post by dirtybirdnj »

AndrewKemendo wrote: post #120
dirtybirdnj wrote: post #119

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> This isn’t a disability, sociopathy is a self-propelled toxic character trait, typically resulting from deep childhood trauma that our society rewards structurally. > Mostly we just need to identify and isolate people with ASPD as quickly as possible. I find this interesting as it relates to the autism spectrum... there is pretty universal resistance to accommodating / understanding the difficulties people face. It…

Fully concur and I think you describe better what I mean by isolate The idea of isolating those people is that we actively reject abusive narcissistic behavior with no qualifications. That means it’s a one strike you’re out rule socially for toxic behavior

> actively reject abusive narcissistic behavior with no qualifications.

There is an inherently difficult task in this. To combat manipulators, we must ourselves engage in manipulation of others whether we like it or not. Depending on how skillful the ASPD person is, trying to call them out on their behavior may actually simply be "outing" yourself to a group that has no interest in hearing what your saying.

This can be INCREDIBLY stressful in work or school settings where removing yourself from the social situation is impossible. Eventually the only way to "win" is to walk away, and in doing so at times cut yourself off from social groups. This just allows the ASPD person to tar your name and further manipulate others to isolate you. "Living your best life is the best revenge" yeah sure but it's hard to do this with less of a social group... it doesn't feel good to lose friends even if the reason you are "losing" them is a choice to not tolerate their behavior.

I said this in another post, but the real challenge is convincing general society that the awful behavior of psychopaths and sociopaths is in fact bad. That not having or even making an attempt to practice empathy does in fact make you a bad person.

The cheerleaders of the sociopaths have been duped, manipulated and controlled into submission by people who have no regard for their wellbeing. In my experience most people are unable to accept this reality. The ones who at least can accept part of it, or agree and have seen the unfairness are the type of people NT or ND that are worth interacting with and need to be seen as advocates and beacons of hope.

Re: I always knew I was different, I didn't know I was a sociopath

#128

Post by dirtybirdnj »

hjanssen wrote: post #50
AndrewKemendo wrote: post #44

I’m really worried that there’s a trend to normalize narcissistic and sociopathic behavior simply because “they are self aware” There are a few ASPD, NPD or narcissist Instagram pages which are clearly sociopaths getting their attention fix by acknowledging and describing these behaviors - this isn’t the same as recovery groups or serious interventions because ASPD has been seen as impossible to treat (though that’s…

So what is your proposed solution? I'd rather have a sociopath that is upfront about being one to me than figuring that fact out by myself. Shunning those people from society seems like not an option to me, they are people after all. I think normalizing sociopathic behaviour is something to be worried about, but I personally don't see that happening anywhere so I am unsure what your point is.

> I think normalizing sociopathic behaviour is something to be worried about, but I personally don't see that happening anywhere so I am unsure what your point is.

The normalization of sociopathic behavior is pretty clear to see in politics and celebrity culture. If you don't see it you have had your eyes willfully closed to it for 10+ yrs.

Maybe you have or are currently engaged in some of these behaviors and you "can't see" them because it would damage your ego's view of yourself as a good person who deserves the success they have experienced.

> Shunning those people from society seems like not an option to me, they are people after all

This is effectively what happens to the victims of the sociopaths. They are driven out from the margins. The way I read this is "sociopaths can do whatever they want, but when others complain they are the problem".

I cannot stress how wrong that last statement is. So much suffering and therapy to recover from people who behaved this way. People at the top. Bosses. Managers.

People who were supposed to be looking out for the group and were not.

Re: I always knew I was different, I didn't know I was a sociopath

#129

Post by AndrewKemendo »

stormfather wrote: post #77
hjanssen wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So what is your proposed solution? I'd rather have a sociopath that is upfront about being one to me than figuring that fact out by myself. Shunning those people from society seems like not an option to me, they are people after all. I think normalizing sociopathic behaviour is something to be worried about, but I personally don't see that happening anywhere so I am unsure what your point is.

Let's genetically profile for it, and if there's a link, screen for embryos that don't have it. This would require a bit more technological advancement of course. But imagine, a world without sociopaths! It would be the biggest generational improvement in the world in history.

This is definitely not it

Re: I always knew I was different, I didn't know I was a sociopath

#130

Post by JohnBooty »

dirtybirdnj wrote: post #108
JohnBooty wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In my experience this is unusual, sociopaths I've met either don't get this Wow, that doesn't jive with my personal experiences or what I've ever read about sociopathy. It sounds more like you're describing folks on the autism spectrum. Sociopaths (which I realize is a somewhat deprecated term) tend to be skilled manipulators because they do understand how they effect others, but don't particularly feel much guilt ab…

> Wow, that doesn't jive with my personal experiences or what I've ever read about sociopathy. It sounds more like you're describing folks on the autism spectrum. The amount of undue hate that people on the spectrum get for being sociopaths or narcissist is awful. You are correct that they may misunderstand or "not get" social situations. You are incorrect in that they don't care / can't feel the emotion of a situati…

    The amount of undue hate that people on the spectrum 
    get for being sociopaths or narcissist is awful. You 
    are correct that they may misunderstand or "not get" 
    social situations. You are incorrect in that they 
    don't care / can't feel the emotion of a situation. 
    Often they are overwhelmed by this and it's what makes 
    "dealing" (passing as NT) difficult.
I absolutely agree.

When I said the parent's post sounded more like they were describing autism, I strictly meant the part about struggling to understand social dynamics.

I might have been able express that better, not quite sure. But more importantly yes, absolutely agree with what you wrote there.

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