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I always knew I was different, I didn't know I was a sociopath

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Re: I always knew I was different, I didn't know I was a sociopath

#101
post #67

> After years of study, intensive therapy and earning a Ph.D. in psychology, I can say that sociopaths aren’t “bad” or “evil” or “crazy.” We simply have ... Holy moral vacuum, Batman. That is not true, at all. First, psychology doesn't do ethics. It tries (not very well, I may add) to find causes for behavior, emotions, feelings, and social and cognitive processes. But it doesn't justify nor condemn those. Second, st…

I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok = all lumberjacks are ok.

The fact they're attempting to speak on behalf of all is really starting on the wrong foot. Painting with a brush with the broadness of stereotypes.

Don't call me evil, I'm just misunderstood.

Without empathy I'd call into question their ability to judge bad, evil, or crazy for the rest of society that do feel empathy. It's like someone who is red/green colourblind defining what red is for the non-colourblind.

And 'crazy' is just 'we don't have a name for that particular thing yet': I'm not crazy, we call it antisocial personality disorder now, there's questions and a scale and everything. Not crazy.

Re: I always knew I was different, I didn't know I was a sociopath

#102

I thought this fad of building identity on labels was dying down ? I have no idea if her diagnosis is right - doesn't sound pathological/needing a diagnosis. Reading trough the article I don't feel I've gained any practical insights - just reads like someone trying to sound interesting by putting a label on themselves and explaining how it fits them.

Actually it's becoming much more common for teenagers to label every single thing about themselves. There are certain boxes they have to fit in, and if they do fit, they have to fill the box entirely. You can have multiple labels, but there's no room for unlabeled activities, and if you participate in any label, you must do so entirely.

Re: I always knew I was different, I didn't know I was a sociopath

#103
post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

PostData: He got diagnosed as a 30 years old or so.

How could he be 'very rational' and also 'threaten people to become his friends'?

Well, don't you see? He simply had too much rationality. When you have rationality up the wazoo, coming out the ears, you just start manipulating people!

Re: I always knew I was different, I didn't know I was a sociopath

#105
This doesn't sound like the conventional definition of sociopathy (you still have empathy but act against it, feel guilty) but psychopathy (innate, lack of empathy)

First, I've heard about these unstoppable "impulses", it's more about being less risk averse, not caring about damage done to others, thinking you'll get through it successfully.

Re: I always knew I was different, I didn't know I was a sociopath

#106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hypothetically if this was rephrased as "he was very rational and threatened other children to play with him and treat him like a friend" does that make sense to you?

Not really to be honest. Rational person would know that you can't force someone to like you. Forcing 'friendship' looks more like something an autistic would do.

>>Rational person would know that you can't force someone to like you.

True, but TBF, it takes experience to realize that, and the psychopathy kind of hinders getting that experience? (Reading could also help, but not in the same way)

Re: I always knew I was different, I didn't know I was a sociopath

#107

https://old.reddit.com/r/askpsychology/comments/jqewhk/does_... this person is lying, she doesn't have a PhD, she's using someone else's name

As far as I can tell from this reddit thread she is accused of this, but I don’t see 100% conclusive evidence of anything at all, am I missing something?

Re: I always knew I was different, I didn't know I was a sociopath

#108

The subject has always fascinated me, largely to understand this character type when I encounter it. I've worked for a couple of sociopaths, it was extremely confusing and difficult. I find it interesting that the author understands that the way she behaves can have negative impacts on people around her. In my experience this is unusual, sociopaths I've met either don't get this, or if they do, don't care, and in som…

In my experience this is unusual, sociopaths I've met either don't get this Wow, that doesn't jive with my personal experiences or what I've ever read about sociopathy. It sounds more like you're describing folks on the autism spectrum. Sociopaths (which I realize is a somewhat deprecated term) tend to be skilled manipulators because they do understand how they effect others, but don't particularly feel much guilt ab…

> Wow, that doesn't jive with my personal experiences or what I've ever read about sociopathy. It sounds more like you're describing folks on the autism spectrum.

The amount of undue hate that people on the spectrum get for being sociopaths or narcissist is awful. You are correct that they may misunderstand or "not get" social situations. You are incorrect in that they don't care / can't feel the emotion of a situation. Often they are overwhelmed by this and it's what makes "dealing" (passing as NT) difficult.

The amount of times I have had people socially manipulate situations against me is difficult to count. Any time you speak up about this you are the "crazy" one. These have mostly been situations where sociopaths are abusing me for the entertainment / social benefit reason.

They DO NOT CARE about the pain / suffering they cause. This has been a source of extreme stress, pain and suffering in my life. YMMV obviously but the amount of time I have to spend explaining this to people is disheartening. It's like nobody wants to believe that people can be so awful... and this belief can hand wave away any bad behavior being described.

> because even if you have little empathy, behaving like a creepy scumbag is generally not going to be beneficial in the long run.

I think you significantly underestimate the benefit to risk ratio. There are a lot more terrible, manipulative, sadistic people out there than "kind but misunderstood" people. The averages are not in our favor.

Re: I always knew I was different, I didn't know I was a sociopath

#109
post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wrong !== Different. This is by design. I can imagine all the birds in the dinosaur times felt wrong because they weren't t-rexes. Well, that's what saved them in the end. One would never know.

> I can imagine all the birds in the dinosaur times felt wrong because they weren't t-rexes. Well, that's what saved them in the end It's not about birds in dinosaur times though - as an analogy I mean. It's more about a particular bird being different from others of its species of bird. This could be an advantage to their life and acceptance (e.g. they might be too pretty or stronger) or usually a big detriment to t…

Additionally, being asexual is 'wrong' in a life / procreation sense. It's a kind of dead-end personality trait.

(I'm specifically not saying 'wrong' for existing in society or having value to offer the world and, actually, if environmental factors make a difference to this sort of thing, then asexuality could well be increasingly common as a response to the state of the world vis-a-vis climate change and resource usage and all the other bad things humanity hath wrought)

Re: I always knew I was different, I didn't know I was a sociopath

#110
If nothing else, the comments here show me that we need a new word to describe people on the "sociopath spectrum" who intellectually decide to not be evil.

There is a reason ASPD requires the anti-social element to be diagnosable, but it seems we lack a popular word to describe ASPD without the AS. Psychopathy and sociopathy have too much cultural baggage because everyone thinks of extreme cases like American Psycho, or the most overt narcissistic sociopaths they've personally interacted with.

There is a whole class of people on the sociopath spectrum who go unnoticed because they're just better at hiding it and living normal lives, even if they don't feel emotions as strongly (or at all) compared to most people, they can decide to intellectually value other peoples experiences and simulate it.

I suspect there's also a lot of overlap with high functioning autism, where intellect and desire to model people accurately can make up for emotional hardware / mirror neuron deficiencies.

If we had less polarizing language to describe the spectrum of non-evil sociopathy, more people in this category would feel safe publicly describing their experiences, and the discourse wouldn't be dominated by grifters and subsequent backlash.

I think it's good to accept people on this spectrum as long as they chose to not be evil (and succeed at it), it is pointless judge people on their own internal experience of the world if it's not affecting others! They have every right to find community and support structures, and work towards integrating healthily with society, just like those with BPD, autism, bipolar, etc.

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