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The happiest kids in the world have social safety nets

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Re: The happiest kids in the world have social safety nets

#131

Post by gnicholas »

anon291 wrote: post #105

As someone from an Asian background that grew up in the United States, I'm shocked at how many of my friends parents refuse / don't want to look after their grandchildren. My parents watch our kids multiple times per week, and I seemed to have married a relative unicorn amongst Anglo-Saxons because my in-laws watch them as well. I think this is a highly under-rated reason why birthrates are falling. Grandparenting is…

I don't think this is that uncommon. It just depends on how far grandparents live, and whether they have other grandkids. When our first child was born, both sets of grandparents couldn't wait to help out — it was their first grandchild, after all. As other kids have been born, they've had less time to do so.

Re: The happiest kids in the world have social safety nets

#132

Post by gnicholas »

mitthrowaway2 wrote: post #125
gnicholas wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, in CA you aren't allowed to leave a kid under 6 in a car if " there are conditions that can pose a risk to the child’s health and safety , even if accompanied by another child who is not yet 13. What does it mean for conditions to "pose a risk"? Obviously high heat, but it's not clear what else could qualify. I don't ever leave my kids (one that is under 6 and one that is well over 6, but not yet 13) alone in a…

I don't think any of the parent posters were talking about leaving kids in a car . That is certainly a dangerous thing to do.

Why is it "certainly dangerous" to leave a 5 year old and a 10 year old in a car, while I go into a store to pick something up?

Re: The happiest kids in the world have social safety nets

#133

Post by jeffbee »

renewiltord wrote: post #84
throwaway49849 wrote: post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For context, 75,518 EUR is $81,014. So if you're a software engineer making $200k, you're paying 37% on the first $81,014, or $30,000, and then 50% on the remaining $118,986, or $60,000. For a grand total of $90k on your $200k salary. Oof. In a modern society, with modern technology, why does the government demand ownership of 30-50% of the value that people generate? That's an enormous amount of free labor.

For comparison, in California if you're making $1m W-2 income, you'll lose $470k to total taxes (Federal+State+FICA). The difference is not that huge. The difference is what you get for that 47%. Go higher and there's a 1% extra mental health services tax.

Is this including federal? State income taxes are nowhere near that high in California.

Re: The happiest kids in the world have social safety nets

#134

Post by bcrosby95 »

Talanes wrote: post #123
bcrosby95 wrote: post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wonder if there's an urban/suburban/rural or political divide when it comes to this. I live in a suburb in California and have never ran into this problem. But we're also unincorporated and don't have cops with nothing better to do than harass some kid walking to school alone. We're also surrounded by people whose kids are now in their 20s-30s. They don't see our kids running around as a nuisance - they're relative…

I grew up in rural California in the one town in the county that was incorporated; the kind of place where every cop in town shows up if anything happens at all. I biked and rollerbladed to school alongside literal highways and never was approached about it once.

Oh yeah, for sure. But I think the argument is that times have changed.

Re: The happiest kids in the world have social safety nets

#135

Post by renewiltord »

jeffbee wrote: post #133
renewiltord wrote: post #84

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For comparison, in California if you're making $1m W-2 income, you'll lose $470k to total taxes (Federal+State+FICA). The difference is not that huge. The difference is what you get for that 47%. Go higher and there's a 1% extra mental health services tax.

Is this including federal? State income taxes are nowhere near that high in California.

Yes, edited to clarify.

Re: The happiest kids in the world have social safety nets

#136

Post by anon291 »

gnicholas wrote: post #131
anon291 wrote: post #105

As someone from an Asian background that grew up in the United States, I'm shocked at how many of my friends parents refuse / don't want to look after their grandchildren. My parents watch our kids multiple times per week, and I seemed to have married a relative unicorn amongst Anglo-Saxons because my in-laws watch them as well. I think this is a highly under-rated reason why birthrates are falling. Grandparenting is…

I don't think this is that uncommon. It just depends on how far grandparents live, and whether they have other grandkids. When our first child was born, both sets of grandparents couldn't wait to help out — it was their first grandchild, after all. As other kids have been born, they've had less time to do so.

My experience has not been 'we don't want to care for grandkids because we're so busy caring for our copious grandchildren that we're too busy for one'. It's more like "I want to go to Europe... too bad".

Re: The happiest kids in the world have social safety nets

#137

Post by anon291 »

atmavatar wrote: post #120
anon291 wrote: post #103

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Most American homes don't have HOAs. Don't buy homes that do. HOAs should severely undervalue a property automatically. HOAs are anti-democratic. It's easier to get rid of a city than an HOA.

While that's true that many (and perhaps most!) HOAs are awful, that isn't categorically true for all of them. I live in a neighborhood with an HOA. Its purpose is primarily to act as a collective for bargaining with the city government. It also negotiated a sweet deal with the local waste disposal services - they're covered by the HOA dues, which are lower than what my parents pay a mile or so away. It sends out qua…

> I live in a neighborhood with an HOA. Its purpose is primarily to act as a collective for bargaining with the city government.

That's called a political party

> It also negotiated a sweet deal with the local waste disposal services - they're covered by the HOA dues, which are lower than what my parents pay a mile or so away. It sends out quarterly newsletters about local events and has yearly meetings and elections for its handful of officers.

Yeah... this is called a neighborhood association. We have that too, despite not having an HOA

> I was hesitant to buy into this neighborhood when I first learned there was an HOA, but the bylaws don't prevent me from doing anything with my property that the city ordinances don't already prohibit. I've never received any complaints from my HOA, nor have any of my neighbors to my knowledge.

Then what's the point other than to channel money? if you want to pay taxes, just ask your city to collect it. Like I said, it's a lot easier to get rid of a city than an HOA.

Re: The happiest kids in the world have social safety nets

#138

Post by tzs »

asoneth wrote: post #126
JohnFen wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> In the US they'd risk either being killed by a driver, or stopped by an overzealous neighbor or police officer. It may depends on where in the US you're talking about, but in my area none of this is actually true. Although lots of people believe it is.

> in my area none of this is actually true That's wonderful you live in place where children are can roam freely without being injured or killed by drivers. But this is a real threat in most of the US. Being killed in a motor vehicle crash is the second highest cause of death among children and adolescents. (It was the highest until 2020 when firearm-related injuries overtook them.[1]) For every 100,000 people the Ne…

Most of that in the US is children who were riding in a car that crashes.

The number of children who are killed by cars as pedestrians or bicyclists is much lower. In 2021 for example it was 176 pedestrian children and 38 bicyclist children [1].

[1] https://crashstats.nhtsa.dot.gov/Api/Public/ViewPublication/...

Re: The happiest kids in the world have social safety nets

#139

Post by blackhaj7 »

Verdex wrote: post #12
MBlume wrote: post #4

I'm strongly in favor of expanding the US social safety net, but I don't want to neglect other obvious factors here. Dutch children are able to walk or bike outside unsupervised. In the US they'd risk either being killed by a driver, or stopped by an overzealous neighbor or police officer. I think this kind of freedom of movement has a big effect on happiness, it certainly did for me. ETA relevant links: https://yout…

Yeah, the way I see it, as a parent I've got basically two responsibilities for my children. Ensure safety and wellbeing AND facilitate increased autonomy as their development allows. I'm more than happy to transition into a secondary caregiver for their own children and/or a financial backstop when they get to that stage of life. But I've met too many people first hand who were never allowed to increase their own au…

I have noticed that most of my friends who have depression had this upbringing. The lack of autonomy resulted in them being overwhelmed by the real world and caused them all sorts of damage

Re: The happiest kids in the world have social safety nets

#140

Post by elevatedastalt »

genman wrote: post #60
bigfudge wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can’t tell if this is satire or a genuine point being made. It’s a long way from reality if anyone was in any doubt!

It looks like some political fringe theory talking point.

It was a slightly provocative statement said in satire to underscore the point that the right degree of taxation and social services to provide isn't a universal constant and we don't need to assume that the way European countries do is the only right. These things tend to have complex tradeoffs.
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