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The dating app paradox

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Re: The dating app paradox

#211

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s less dysfunctional than most organizations 1/10th its size.

having worked at, or consulted at, several F500 orgs... I believe it. most could be politely described as "basket cases" or "cluster hugs" (hugs being the operative word). but they had so much inertia and so many assets that were effective on ground they couldn't be stopped. anything outside of core business drivers were a mess, but they could still make in rain in their core competencies. the level of corruption was…

Right and if you wanted to make money by being immoral, you’d have a lot better odds of success, and probably both less chance of being caught and less penalty, if you did, in the private sector.

A senator gets paid a tiny percent of what a c-suite exec does and there are much fewer of them. I know all sorts of small business owners who make more money than POTUS (though I suppose much fewer if you count speaking fees after retirement) or anyone in Congress. Etc.

I mean there’s corruption and graft and stuff, and plenty of waste, but for its size, I think our government is wonderful. The more I learn about other ones the more positively I feel about ours.

And here’s a way I like to think about things when there are big topics that are confusing. I ask “if you were wrong, would you still think you were right?” I often ask friends if Bing were better than Google (which I’ve never met anyone who thinks it is) would they know it? They say yes but then I ask them the last time they tried switching, or even know someone who did, and they realize that even if Bing was 20% better than Google they would still think it isn’t.

I think it’s the same with government. If ours were better than every other one in the world we’d mostly still think it wasn’t by sheer inertia and the marketing done by politicians to convince us it isn’t.

Im sure it isn’t the best in the world, but I think all the better ones are smaller wealthier countries that just have a much easier job.

Re: The dating app paradox

#212
I am in discussion to start our own dating site/app with some people. Probably Non profit. But there are many arguments not to do this. If anyone interested who think he could bring value...

Re: The dating app paradox

#213
post #103

The fact that one company repeatedly bought out its competition and now owns, according the the article, 45 dating apps probably has a lot to do with why they suck. Instead of competing by trying to be better, just buy out the rivals, gut them, and make everything worse. As long as the dominant player has lots of capital to buy any upstarts and the regulatory environment lets them do it, it can be an easier way to ma…

I feel like there's a genius adversarial strategy to be had here. It seems to me the dominant player is overvaluing the possibility of being displaced and is misallocating capital to acquire competition of dubious merits. I can leverage this by making a passable clone of their product in the hopes of being bought out for much more than I'm worth.

Re: The dating app paradox

#214
post #68

Dating apps by and far are quite useless. If you ever want to know how insidious they are, just download one, finish your profile, and swipe for 10 minutes a week. Since you are not an "active user" they will give you the most attractive people to swipe on. Every couple of days they will give you a "limited time" discount on gold or platinum or whatever. The push notifications are my favorite part, "you could be miss…

I'm always so confused by the advice to go to bookstores to meet people. What kind of bookstores do you guys go to where the customers talk with each other?

That's a recipe for women to feel creeped out. Even at Meetups women get bugged by men who for lack of a better term lack awareness and communication skills.

And by this I do imply men talking to women, because despite claims to the contrary, it's the accepted norm (and there are always exceptions). That's my experience, it may be different in same sex communities.

There's no great place for people to meet anymore.

Re: The dating app paradox

#215
post #103

The fact that one company repeatedly bought out its competition and now owns, according the the article, 45 dating apps probably has a lot to do with why they suck. Instead of competing by trying to be better, just buy out the rivals, gut them, and make everything worse. As long as the dominant player has lots of capital to buy any upstarts and the regulatory environment lets them do it, it can be an easier way to ma…

I feel like there's a genius adversarial strategy to be had here. It seems to me the dominant player is overvaluing the possibility of being displaced and is misallocating capital to acquire competition of dubious merits. I can leverage this by making a passable clone of their product in the hopes of being bought out for much more than I'm worth.

The hardest part is users. I’d imagine what they’re actually buying is the marketshare of the competition.

Note that ‘subpar matching to keep users on the app’ only works if you control a large majority of the market.

Which is all to say, it’s not the app clone you’re selling them. It’s the users you stole and are selling back.

Re: The dating app paradox

#216
post #96

I'd like to bring back an article, more analytical on this paratox (the title, Why You Should Never Pay For Online Dating, speaks a lot), from the old and now dead OkCupid blog. Funnily, this post was deleted just after the acquisition from the Match Group in 2011. https://web.archive.org/web/20100821041938/http://blog.okcup... Latest discussion on this: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33163930

OkCupid really went to pot after the acquisition. You can't even browse/search any more. It's all Tinder-style matching. Is that what people really want?

Online dating has gotten progressively worse over the past ~10 years. Even Craigslist personals is gone... Where can one meet a weirdo nowadays?

Re: The dating app paradox

#217
post #103

The fact that one company repeatedly bought out its competition and now owns, according the the article, 45 dating apps probably has a lot to do with why they suck. Instead of competing by trying to be better, just buy out the rivals, gut them, and make everything worse. As long as the dominant player has lots of capital to buy any upstarts and the regulatory environment lets them do it, it can be an easier way to ma…

By standard Economic theory, that is not a stable strategy, since it incentivises starting new dating apps. It only has to be moderately successful to ensure a profitable exit. Over time, Match would run out of money.

Given that Economists overwhelmingly get these things right more than our intuitions, I'm really curious what explanations they have.

Re: The dating app paradox

#218

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I haven't looked but I suspect that people in happy loving relationships are less likely to be extremists/terrorists than unhappy people without close ties or people in their lives to check in on their mental well-being.

Having kids makes you soften up alot too. Which should probably decrease the lure of war or other terrorism alot?

[dead]

Re: The dating app paradox

#219
post #48

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Dating apps at 45 are a literal fucking cesspool. Funny I’m in almost the same situation and have found dating apps really helpful. I’ve been using them for a few months and it’s like a firehose of dates. It’s surprising because they get a bad rap, but I think I could go on a date every night if I wanted to. I haven’t found a new partner and am just a few months in but have met nice people and relationships. As an…

I think the 10M metro area helps your case, many folks don't have such a wide dating pool to pull from on the apps. Also, it depends on the culture of the area that you reside within. Here, in Minneapolis, folks are tight lipped, tight knit, and keep everything close to the chest, but they continue to hold some of those dating app nuances in high regard. I'm really happy that, for you, it works. I also had a steady s…

> folks I was not compatible with in any stretch of the imagination

This is really within my control, right? I found being very specific about my interests and requirements. If I’m going on dates with people I have poor compatibility then I need a better profile. And need to ask more questions beforehand.

What was interesting to me is that there are lots of friendly people who will say “yes” to a date. So I put specific questions like instead of “must have sense of humor” add “must relevantly quote Monty python within the first three days messaging” and then filter based on it.

Re: The dating app paradox

#220
post #88

An actually good date is worth potentially hundreds of dollars. I’m surprised there isn’t an app which meets this need. Yes there is “The League” but even that is just a more exclusive Tinder. No, make a matchmaker app for high paying customers that uses human curation. $500 for 3 dates.

Careful now. A bad one cost me $500k after 20 years.

What level is that for an IC Engineer at Google for one year including RSUs? I think there's a spreadsheet floating around.

Small potatoes in SV!

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