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The dating app paradox

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Re: The dating app paradox

#191

Post by lazide »

phlipski wrote: post #175
carabiner wrote: post #122

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Oh man my comment on how Match group is a gambling app company is up there. I've been online dating for 20 years with pretty decent experiences as a short, ugly man, but now indeed the app/online dating situation is the worst ever. Some of this is probably due to me being older though.

With all due respect here - "20 years of successful online dating" sounds like an oxymoron! Unless you're choosing to date and to not enter into a long term relationship?

If you can consistently eat out at restaurants every night, why settle for Mom’s home cooked meals every night?

Some will see a reason to. Others won’t.

You won’t see many home cooked meal enthusiasts at the restaurant, either way.

Re: The dating app paradox

#192

Post by nvarsj »

prepend wrote: post #48
garciasn wrote: post #32

Originally responding to a flagged comment that stated you were weak for not talking to people in person: You’re not wrong, but the in-person dating pool is small and the stakes are high. I am very recently divorced, dating single for the first time in nearly 25 years after finding my wife stole $300K from the family and had been carrying on an affair for 18 months while I thought our finances and love were at an all…

> Dating apps at 45 are a literal fucking cesspool. Funny I’m in almost the same situation and have found dating apps really helpful. I’ve been using them for a few months and it’s like a firehose of dates. It’s surprising because they get a bad rap, but I think I could go on a date every night if I wanted to. I haven’t found a new partner and am just a few months in but have met nice people and relationships. As an…

Same for me, in my 40s, living in London. Started on the dating apps last October, and had so many dating opportunities I had to slow down. And now I've found an amazing woman. As a life long awkward geek, I wish it had been this easy in my 20s.

Re: The dating app paradox

#194

Post by lazide »

fireflash38 wrote: post #150
charliebwrites wrote: post #87

Until dating apps explicitly measure success in terms of matches made and users deleting the app at all levels of their business, the quality of their products will suffer If a product team is incentivized to bring in revenue over creating long term relationships, then it will always make decisions that sacrifice the latter for the former Investors need to understand and accept that these business measure success in…

I've kind of wondered how you would structure something to have incentives line up. Sign a contract saying you pay nothing for as long as you are actively swiping/matching/communicating, but if you stop for 1-2 months you have to pay? Rather feels bad... but maybe the 'lucky' users would be more willing to pay since they found someone? As it currently is & the article describes, current dating app revenue feels super…

You might as well ask how you could make whiskey healthy.

It’s not. That’s the point.

Re: The dating app paradox

#195

Post by nonrandomstring »

sakawa wrote: post #96

I'd like to bring back an article, more analytical on this paratox (the title, Why You Should Never Pay For Online Dating, speaks a lot), from the old and now dead OkCupid blog. Funnily, this post was deleted just after the acquisition from the Match Group in 2011. https://web.archive.org/web/20100821041938/http://blog.okcup... Latest discussion on this: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33163930

Thanks. a great article. Over 10 years old and still spicy. Bookmarked for further research.

Oddly, OKCupid came out in our interviews as "one of the better" types of business and produced the most long term matches. Has anyone got some other data sources on quality and satisfaction in dating apps, with some large sample sizes?

Re: The dating app paradox

#196

Post by lazide »

jstarfish wrote: post #171
Qem wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It's much easier to naturally meet people in real life through work/school. It was. Nowadays people including the office in their dating pool face a high risk of harassment claims.

I investigate these complaints for a living. Please don't date anybody you work with. We'll both be happier for it. The fun always starts after a breakup and the other party doesn't want to see you at work anymore. There is usually no penalty for falsely reporting anyone to HR for harassment "in good faith," and there are likely anti-retaliation policies protecting malicious claimants from punishment for "misrepresen…

It’s not just work - it’s any community venue that other party considers ‘essential’.

Church, Dr’s offices, the gym, even a grocery store (if they ‘need it’) is a potential social ‘war zone’.

Oh, and Reddit too.

Re: The dating app paradox

#197

Post by notfed »

devit wrote: post #98

Committed relationships found by judging other people's personality and looks are completely unnatural for human beings, and a result of conditioning by society. The natural state is living immersed in a place where other beings are and spontaneously interacting with them without a developed ego/personality filtering the interaction, as the closest relatives to human (chimpanzees and bonobos) do. This makes the socia…

> Committed relationships found by judging other people's personality and looks are completely unnatural for human beings

Citation? This is an extraordinary claim.

Re: The dating app paradox

#199

Post by cogman10 »

fourseventy wrote: post #182
Exoristos wrote: post #115

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As well as regulating them, Western governments might want to actually fund high-quality, not-for-profit dating systems of some kind. Improved health for citizens, lessened extremism, not to mention possibly boosted population growth could result.

You want to put the government in control of who we date? No thanks.

I have to ask, how are you envisioning this goes poorly?

Re: The dating app paradox

#200

Post by Syonyk »

fourseventy wrote: post #182
Exoristos wrote: post #115

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As well as regulating them, Western governments might want to actually fund high-quality, not-for-profit dating systems of some kind. Improved health for citizens, lessened extremism, not to mention possibly boosted population growth could result.

You want to put the government in control of who we date? No thanks.

As opposed to for-profit, ad-driven, surveillance capitalism companies with a demonstrated interest in short term profits and hoovering all the data they can?

Yeah.

I'd be willing to take that risk.

Don't get me wrong. I don't think the government is a good group to do this. I just think they're a less-bad group than the usual parties.

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