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How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

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Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#71

Post by jWhick »

082349872349872 wrote: post #3

I'm with the Inuit and Jedi on this one: anger is pretty useless[0], and if you must[1] take revenge, that's best served cold. Sometimes I wonder if the typical Hollywood W-plot, in which the hero's best friend/significant relation is shown partying/getting the girl/otherwise living well at the top of the middle ∧ then killed by the villain at the bottom of the right ∨, after which the hero gets angry and wins the da…

I always think twice about my revenge and definitely serve it cold. However thinking about it, Inuit are some of the coolest cultures out the here, right next to Japanese. Their commitment to stay cold-headed and be hard working is something to we should all aspire to achieve.

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#72

Post by thaumasiotes »

lukeplato wrote: post #34
op00to wrote: post #4

I’m not sure lying to your kids about sea monsters to the point that your children are so petrified of the water they don’t go near it is quite as benign as they believe.

The story distinctly says the sea monster uses a pouch for small kids, so they wouldn't have to fear it as they get older if that part is explained

There's a good children's book about Eskimo undersea child-snatching monsters: https://www.annickpress.com/Books/A/A-Promise-Is-a-Promise

They don't use bags, though it's always possible that that's an adaptation of the original story. It seems more likely that there is cultural variation in traditional stories.

There is no need to make it impossible for a monster to target adults. You can just say that they target children.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qallupilluit

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#73

Post by thaumasiotes »

itsoktocry wrote: post #49
dappermanneke wrote: post #27

what is exactly the anglospheres obsession with trying to make their life more like that of people who live in squalor and possess nothing?

> what is exactly the anglospheres obsession with trying to make their life more like that of people who live in squalor and possess nothing? I don't understand either. We'll point to something like this and say, "look at what this culture does that's positive!" But if you point out something negative of a specific culture, that's taboo.

> We'll point to something like this and say, "look at what this culture does that's positive!"

> But if you point out something negative of a specific culture, that's taboo.

But surely the mistake there is in the second practice, not the first one.

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#74

Post by throwawayyy9237 »

This is very interesting and I can see how it can produce good results.

What I can't do is square this with my own observations of the current generation of parents. In my particular social and geographic circle, most parents tend to let the children do whatever they please. This almost produces "feral" children that can't even eat and sit properly (and I don't mean the Victorian Properly, I mean without dumping a full plate of food on their head or throwing cuttlery against the wall) or observe the basic rules of social interation.

If the "throw me the pebble" was applied to these children they would just think it would be OK to throw pebbles at strangers on the street.

What's the missing element in our society (honest question)?

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#75

Post by ProllyInfamous »

pmarreck wrote: post #36

A lot of this seems alien to me but I've also suffered from lifelong anger issues (perhaps also due to some corporal punishment I experienced) so it probably tracks... so I'm going to try these. I am especially sensitive to being struck physically. When my 2.6 year old son hits me, for example (the other night he literally tried to grab my eyeball out, out of the blue, fingernails and all), I must immediately walk aw…

One of my first memories is of "biting Mother."

Her response was "bite this little bastard back."

I've spent decades untangling our Love. RIP, Mom.

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#76

Post by alexey-salmin »

Obscurity4340 wrote: post #39
makeitshine wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Do many people, when older, get upset about the lies their parents told them about Santa, The Easter Bunny and such? I'm skeptical these sorts of childhood lies cause any issues.

It certainly gives you more ammunition as a teen to distrust and venture the things your parents also taught you or implied were dangerous. It also teaches your children to believe foolish and questionable speech+conduct on the part of authority figures which has creates many other problems. Why is it necessary? Why do you need to lie to your children? Teaching them that lying is "fun" is absurd, so many problems are…

> It certainly gives you more ammunition as a teen to distrust and venture the things your parents also taught you or implied were dangerous.

So a good thing then?

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#77

Post by Obscurity4340 »

foofie wrote: post #68
iteria wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I see you've never had a young child. What you're talking about is something that doesn't work with children under 3. And tbose children are very mobile, boundary test and don't really understand death. My 1 year butt checked a fireplace and got a 3rd degree burn. She understood what hot was. That heat could hurt her. Still burnt her butt when I wasn't looking and the worst part was the urgent care told me it was a c…

> I see you've never had a young child. Thank you for pointing out a series of facts that are only obvious to those who have direct or indirect contact with children. It boggles the mind how some naive people believe you can have nuanced conversations enumerating risks and tradeoffs with kids who are just starting to count to 10, and refuse things like changing a diaper. Some kids don't even grasp the connection betw…

On the contrary, I was forced to raise two that were constantly indulged and lied to (and despite my protestations was required to cave constantly) to humor them and it made them a nightmare to deal with while also severely hampering their development.

Then it became a constant danger about them finding out the truth which we would be brutally punished if that happened because the child would throw a fit due to the abrupt change in their perception/reality and that the tried+true old control mechanism would be lost creating two stupid unnecessary new problems.

Lying lets others control you and prevents you from freely making the most sensible or appropriate decision. It gives a child control over you and handicaps your abillity to transact with them in a way that is productive and authentic.

I'm not gonna say your parent was awful for trying to protect you, I'm simply saying its trades convenience and expediency at the cost of truly dealing with issues and conflicts (assuming you have dealt with the other aspects like child-proofing as best is possible).

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#79

Post by Obscurity4340 »

Aurornis wrote: post #45
Obscurity4340 wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It certainly gives you more ammunition as a teen to distrust and venture the things your parents also taught you or implied were dangerous. It also teaches your children to believe foolish and questionable speech+conduct on the part of authority figures which has creates many other problems. Why is it necessary? Why do you need to lie to your children? Teaching them that lying is "fun" is absurd, so many problems are…

> Why is it necessary? Why do you need to lie to your children? I prefer to be straight with my young kids when possible, but even I have to admit that mythical type stories carry a lot more staying power with young kids than a stern warning about real danger from their parents. The context we have as adults about the consequences of things like death are not fully developed in young children. However, they pick up o…

I think there's a difference also between telling a story with lessons embedded and straight-up lying and saying Santa/God is watching and you have him on speed-dial. That is absolutely pathetic and ridiculous and I'll admit it continues to influence my perception of this discussion

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#80

Post by rayiner »

foofie wrote: post #33
rayiner wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s almost as children are irrational creatures without fully developed brains and can’t handle the truth.

I wouldn't say irrational. They are inexperienced. They don't know the risks, and they don't know what they are risking with some kind of behavior. If you place someone who never set foot outside of a major urban center and place them in a forest, they will do a lot of stupid things that can get them killed. If you take someone who always lived in a temperate climate and place them in either subzero temperatures then…

> I wouldn't say irrational. They are inexperienced. They don't know the risks, and they don't know what they are risking with some kind of behavior.

“Inexperienced” is the wrong word. That suggests that what they lack is experiential knowledge. That’s incorrect. Instead, children and adolescents have lower capacity for acting rationally even based on the same knowledge, because the frontal cortex isn’t fully developed until age 25: https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?Con...

Mixing up those two things leads you to the erroneous view that you can facilitate young people making good decisions by presenting them information to analyze and process rationally. They have lesser capacity to do that. That’s why every society has various approaches to regulating the behavior of young people, such as stories about sea monsters.

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