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How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

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Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You are describing moral outrage. The other poster is talking about what academics associate with the fight or flight instinct. I agree with the other poster anger and other extreme emotions are usually negatively correlated with long term success. Extreme emotions engages our primal brain which prevents our more advanced brain from engaging.

> You are describing moral outrage. That's simply a fancy label for a particular kind of anger, as one might be able to tell from the literal definition of outrage: an extremely strong reaction of anger, shock, or indignation. In my opinion there are few things quite as pathetic as people who twist themselves into pretzels to avoid acknowledging their emotions for what they are. Certain emotions are "bad" (anger, jea…

I side with this school of thought.

Just call the emotions what they are, accept them in the form of not dressing them up and putting some spin on them to make people feel better about themselves (and ultimately dance around the actual emotion, via forms of denial, bypassing, etc.). And once you accept them for the simple, unadorned, and sometimes unflattering things that they are, you can then process them, and decide via understanding the root causes, contexts, and triggers, to then map out decision trees for how to respond to those feelings and emotions as the best course of action.

And like you mentioned, if you don't address the actual emotions and try to pretty them up, you're gonna leak out the actual emotions sideways, and cause unnecessary strain to those around you, and ultimately place your burden of being responsible for your emotions on others, and most likely throw up a big stink (in the form of projection, more denial, more bypassing, etc.).

Emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and responsibility are very difficult but necessary things, and they often times are unflattering. But like also many other things, there's no shortcuts to learning how to manage and deal with them in real situations with real stakes.

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#52

I'm with the Inuit and Jedi on this one: anger is pretty useless[0], and if you must[1] take revenge, that's best served cold. Sometimes I wonder if the typical Hollywood W-plot, in which the hero's best friend/significant relation is shown partying/getting the girl/otherwise living well at the top of the middle ∧ then killed by the villain at the bottom of the right ∨, after which the hero gets angry and wins the da…

"At times it is only the angry who are in a position to apprehend the magnitude of some injustice. For they are the ones willing to sacrifice all their other concerns and interests so as to attend, with an almost divine focus, to some tear in the moral fabric. When I am really angry, it is not even clear to me that I can calm down—the eyes of the heart do not have eyelids—and the person making that request strikes me, to adapt a locution of Socrates’, as trying to banish me from my property, the truth. They are calling me “irrational,” but they seem not to see that there are reasons to be angry."

Agnes Callard, https://thepointmag.com/examined-life/anger-management-agnes...

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#53

what is exactly the anglospheres obsession with trying to make their life more like that of people who live in squalor and possess nothing?

It's not really an obsession of the anglosphere, if that's a thing. It's part of a larger signal from the upper part of the class divide, saying "Dear masses, we're going to be taking more, so learn to be content with less."

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#54

what is exactly the anglospheres obsession with trying to make their life more like that of people who live in squalor and possess nothing?

> what is exactly the anglospheres obsession with trying to make their life more like that of people who live in squalor and possess nothing? I don't understand either. We'll point to something like this and say, "look at what this culture does that's positive!" But if you point out something negative of a specific culture, that's taboo.

> But if you point out something negative of a specific culture, that's taboo.

"Study indicates better anger control in populations that club baby seals!"

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#55

what is exactly the anglospheres obsession with trying to make their life more like that of people who live in squalor and possess nothing?

Some would say the posses all that matters.

Indeed, the posse is all that matters.

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#56
post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The options on the table is a) be petrified of the water, or b) risk falling into ice cold water, and option a) is the one that actually keeps your children alive. I wonder if storytelling is effective due to an evolutionary pressure that leads kids who don't learn from storytelling to succumb to the dangers warned against by children's stories. I mean, there's a recurring theme in children's stories which is the cha…

Why couldn't you just literally (in a controlled setting) introduce them directly to the danger by mediating and showing them thru direct experience? Take your kid to work and let them see what they're up against

I see you've never had a young child. What you're talking about is something that doesn't work with children under 3. And tbose children are very mobile, boundary test and don't really understand death.

My 1 year butt checked a fireplace and got a 3rd degree burn. She understood what hot was. That heat could hurt her. Still burnt her butt when I wasn't looking and the worst part was the urgent care told me it was a common occurrence. I believe them because they guess exactly how it had happened.

My 2 year old nearly drowned. It was only a fence that stopped her from jumping into a pool when I wasn't looking. I found her right outside it after desperately wondering where she had gone. She'd been in a pool plenty of times and even knew she could sink. Didn't matter.

I can have frank discussions with my nearly 5 year old, but that was really recent. Even when she was just 4 just explaning and exposure wasn't alaays effective. It's easier to just lie for their safety.

And hell it must work because I still remember the stories my dad told me about the monster called Undertow that would carry you out to sea. I of course know it's a real thing, but I think it's telling I think of the story before the factual information and I heard the story over 25 years ago.

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#57
post #31

A caption in the article says “A lot has changed in the Arctic since the Canadian government forced Inuit families to settle in towns. But the community is trying to preserve traditional parenting practices.” (and earlier the article says “Elders I spoke with say intense colonization over the past century is damaging these traditions.” ) — what is this referring to? What did the Canadian government do?

Perplexity's answer to this:

The Canadian government forced Inuit families to settle in towns primarily for administrative and political reasons. This policy, known as the High Arctic relocation, was implemented during the Cold War for sovereignty and security purposes, as well as to assert Canada's presence in the Arctic. The government believed that by relocating the Inuit, it could strengthen Canadian sovereignty in the North. However, this forced relocation had devastating consequences for the Inuit, leading to social, economic, and cultural disruptions. While the government has issued an apology and provided some compensation, the overall impact of the forced settlement on the Inuit community has been largely negative. The Inuit were separated from their traditional way of life, which had sustained them for centuries, and faced significant challenges in adapting to a more urban lifestyle. This has resulted in intergenerational trauma and loss of traditional knowledge and practices.

The Canadian government has since recognized the inherent right of Inuit to self-determination and has been working with Inuit organizations to address the impacts of the forced relocations. Various land claims agreements have been signed, granting title to certain blocks of land to the Inuit. Additionally, initiatives such as the Inuit Child First Initiative have been introduced to support Inuit communities. However, the long-term effects of the forced settlement policy continue to be felt, and efforts to address its legacy are ongoing.

In conclusion, while the forced settlement of Inuit families was driven by political and administrative motives, it has had detrimental effects on the Inuit community. The Canadian government has taken steps to acknowledge and address these impacts, but the overall outcome of the forced relocation policy has been largely negative for the Inuit. Ongoing efforts are being made to support Inuit self-determination and address the legacy of the forced relocations.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_Arctic_relocation

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#58
post #4

I’m not sure lying to your kids about sea monsters to the point that your children are so petrified of the water they don’t go near it is quite as benign as they believe.

Do many people, when older, get upset about the lies their parents told them about Santa, The Easter Bunny and such? I'm skeptical these sorts of childhood lies cause any issues.

I do not know, but I think such lies are best avoided.

They are also not scary lies.

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#59

I'm with the Inuit and Jedi on this one: anger is pretty useless[0], and if you must[1] take revenge, that's best served cold. Sometimes I wonder if the typical Hollywood W-plot, in which the hero's best friend/significant relation is shown partying/getting the girl/otherwise living well at the top of the middle ∧ then killed by the villain at the bottom of the right ∨, after which the hero gets angry and wins the da…

The Iliad is the greatest LGBT love story of all time and I will die on that hill - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Achilles_and_Patroclus If you read the Iliad as a man losing his childhood lover, everything makes sense. Many in the classical greek period took this interpretation.

Painting the Iliad as a modern-day LGBT story is missing the forest for the trees. It encompasses so much more than the single-minded focus on physical attraction of today allows for: kinship, loyalty, adoration, piety, and veneration were all expressions of love to the ancient Greeks, and most of them existed without any physical component.

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#60

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You are describing moral outrage. The other poster is talking about what academics associate with the fight or flight instinct. I agree with the other poster anger and other extreme emotions are usually negatively correlated with long term success. Extreme emotions engages our primal brain which prevents our more advanced brain from engaging.

> You are describing moral outrage. That's simply a fancy label for a particular kind of anger, as one might be able to tell from the literal definition of outrage: an extremely strong reaction of anger, shock, or indignation. In my opinion there are few things quite as pathetic as people who twist themselves into pretzels to avoid acknowledging their emotions for what they are. Certain emotions are "bad" (anger, jea…

Hmm. I would argue addressing the root cause of our emotions requires the use of a more precise clinical analysis. Which is the opposite of extreme emotion.
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