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How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

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Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#21

Post by kdmccormick »

op00to wrote: post #4

I’m not sure lying to your kids about sea monsters to the point that your children are so petrified of the water they don’t go near it is quite as benign as they believe.

Your point was my initial reaction, too. But hey, these people have been raising kids to survive in the freezing cold for hundreds of years, who am I to say they're wrong?

I bet there is a certain delicacy to telling the stories as allegories so that you can transition them from fantasy to rationality as the kid grows.

For example, the "sea monster that swallows you and brings you to another family" sounds like an allegory for "the water will drown you and bring you to the afterlife / death". If you respect your kid's intellect, I bet that you can explain that connection to them once they're getting too old to believe myths, while still holding onto the emotional connection.

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#22

Post by rayiner »

sublinear wrote: post #10
gjsman-1000 wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Also, unaddressed: when they get old enough to realize the story is fake, are they more likely to do something stupid then, because they don’t understand the actual reasoning?

Yeah that's exactly the problem with the boogeyman. They inevitably enter a rebellious phase that could be mostly avoided if you maintained trust and communication. Easier said than done, but you need to keep things simple and direct. To be blunt about it, most parents aren't mentally mature enough to have kids.

> They inevitably enter a rebellious phase

Adolescents have a biological inclination to distance themselves from their parents. But in cultures that properly isolate and ostracize non-conformists and trouble makers, you don’t necessarily have a “rebellious” phase. (Some undoubtedly do, most don’t.)

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#23

Post by rolph »

a reasonable outlook on reality.

anger is outward frustration in response to something not yielding to your will.

before you can control, your arrows, or your rifle, or the small parts of your world, you have to control yourself, and know your place. you can be smarter than a hatchet, or a wet campfire

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#24

Post by svat »

082349872349872 wrote: post #3

I'm with the Inuit and Jedi on this one: anger is pretty useless[0], and if you must[1] take revenge, that's best served cold. Sometimes I wonder if the typical Hollywood W-plot, in which the hero's best friend/significant relation is shown partying/getting the girl/otherwise living well at the top of the middle ∧ then killed by the villain at the bottom of the right ∨, after which the hero gets angry and wins the da…

In Sanskrit literature, a term often used when describing heroes like Rama and Arjuna is jitakrodha, “one who has conquered his anger”. The idea is for you to be in control of your anger, rather than for anger to control you. Rather than anger arising in response to external circumstances and causing you to be carried away and doing things you may regret later, instead anger should be a tool, something you invoke or bring on, when you consciously decide that you need to do battle (or something requiring that energy) — like fire (something anger is frequently compared to), it is dangerous and destructive but a useful tool when one employs it deliberately.

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#25

Post by [deleted] »

makeitshine wrote: post #12
op00to wrote: post #4

I’m not sure lying to your kids about sea monsters to the point that your children are so petrified of the water they don’t go near it is quite as benign as they believe.

Do many people, when older, get upset about the lies their parents told them about Santa, The Easter Bunny and such? I'm skeptical these sorts of childhood lies cause any issues.

[deleted]

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#26

Post by foofie »

adriand wrote: post #14
082349872349872 wrote: post #3

I'm with the Inuit and Jedi on this one: anger is pretty useless[0], and if you must[1] take revenge, that's best served cold. Sometimes I wonder if the typical Hollywood W-plot, in which the hero's best friend/significant relation is shown partying/getting the girl/otherwise living well at the top of the middle ∧ then killed by the villain at the bottom of the right ∨, after which the hero gets angry and wins the da…

Anger is not at all useless, it is a powerful and extremely useful emotion. When we witness injustice, when our loved ones are threatened or harmed, when someone treats us with contempt or disrespect, anger is our signal that we must take action, and it gives us the energy and courage to do what must be done. Understanding your anger and not letting it control your behaviour (ie not giving in to blind rage), is impor…

> (...) and it gives us the energy and courage to do what must be done.

I don't think that's true. Anger, by definition, is a primal/emotional response that leads people to act abruptly without any semblance of reflection on the potential impact of their actions.

The expressions "acted in anger" does not mean "acted with courage to do what needed to be done". It actually means someone screwed up badly without thinking things through.

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#29

Post by foofie »

op00to wrote: post #4

I’m not sure lying to your kids about sea monsters to the point that your children are so petrified of the water they don’t go near it is quite as benign as they believe.

The options on the table is a) be petrified of the water, or b) risk falling into ice cold water, and option a) is the one that actually keeps your children alive.

I wonder if storytelling is effective due to an evolutionary pressure that leads kids who don't learn from storytelling to succumb to the dangers warned against by children's stories. I mean, there's a recurring theme in children's stories which is the character who didn't listened is also the character who falls victim and serves as a cautionary tale.

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