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You Shouldn't Make Friends at Work

psychologytoday.com

31–40 of 55 posts

Re: You Shouldn't Make Friends at Work

#32
post #21
post #6

Hard disagree. I spent a very significant amount of my waking time working. This is one of the best opportunities to make friends, and IMHO it's also nicer to work with friends than with non-friends. Most of the friends I made as an adult came from a work related setting.

The article also seems to ignore that "isFriend" is not a boolean state in life. I can build relationships of varying degree of strength in and out of work.

Yep, my first thought was also to define friend. As the joke goes, friends help you move, real friends help you move bodies. Few people in a lifetime will be real friends, and it doesn't matter how you end up meeting them.

Re: You Shouldn't Make Friends at Work

#33

Why stop there? Don't marry and avoid drama. Have friends with benefits and keep boundaries. Don't have friends/kids/... and avoid all related drama.

My plan if my wife ditches me..gonna sell all properties and live in some chalet in a remote area.

Re: You Shouldn't Make Friends at Work

#35
post #10

I agree that making friends at work has made zero difference to my job satisfaction. Made a hell of a lot of difference on my life satisfaction, though.

Really a shame that people like you and I are wasting time enjoying life when we could be networking, I guess.

This is a US culture thing, and Americans tend to disagree a lot with this (because nobody is aware of their own culture, it's just "how things are"), but US culture really puts work very high in the list of life priorities.

It's the Protestant work ethic, and I see so many people being oppressed by it without even realizing it. Everyone must be as productive as possible at all times, and they must do great at work, and they must sleep under their desks, and if they aren't a good worker they are nothing.

I much prefer to work four days a week, six hours a day, and enjoy my modest life with my friends and family.

Re: You Shouldn't Make Friends at Work

#36
In my eyes, making friends is a good way to help improve job security.

If I were to lose my job, I have friends across a number of companies who I could ask for a leg in. Frankly I think that’s the best way to make lateral movement in general, you can get an honest (somewhat) unbiased feel for a job without having to work there first.

Re: You Shouldn't Make Friends at Work

#37
post #6

Hard disagree. I spent a very significant amount of my waking time working. This is one of the best opportunities to make friends, and IMHO it's also nicer to work with friends than with non-friends. Most of the friends I made as an adult came from a work related setting.

fully agree with this. Plus, if you're worried about "promotion competitiveness" souring friendships with people in your team, you can always make friends with people in other departments and meet them during lunch. This doesnt have to be a hard binary rule

Or if you're like me, uou can just accept that you suck and be happy for the other people.

Re: You Shouldn't Make Friends at Work

#38
This article seems premised on the idea that if you aren't prepared to share all the intimate details of you life and dreams with someone then they aren't your friend. In my view this is a false premise which then leads them to some poor conclusions. There are certainly tensions between friendship and organisational structure but somehow I have made some great friends at work and I think you can too.

Re: You Shouldn't Make Friends at Work

#39
My father is now retired and still meets regularly with his former colleagues from various employers.

I've known some of them since I was little and practically grew up with a few of their children. I am still in close contact with some of them and they are definitely my childhood friends.

But are his former coworkers his friends? I don't know, but I know that I want the same for me and my kids.

Re: You Shouldn't Make Friends at Work

#40
post #6

Hard disagree. I spent a very significant amount of my waking time working. This is one of the best opportunities to make friends, and IMHO it's also nicer to work with friends than with non-friends. Most of the friends I made as an adult came from a work related setting.

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