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You Shouldn't Make Friends at Work

psychologytoday.com

21–30 of 55 posts

Re: You Shouldn't Make Friends at Work

#21
post #6

Hard disagree. I spent a very significant amount of my waking time working. This is one of the best opportunities to make friends, and IMHO it's also nicer to work with friends than with non-friends. Most of the friends I made as an adult came from a work related setting.

The article also seems to ignore that "isFriend" is not a boolean state in life.

I can build relationships of varying degree of strength in and out of work.

Re: You Shouldn't Make Friends at Work

#22
I think it's a bit unethical to post narrow opinion pieces on 'psychologytoday' while masquerading as fact (strong words, but I would simply be happy with them posting 'opinion piece' at the top)

I disagree with the article, or at least think it is blinkered.

Some of my best friends were made through work.

Drama has nothing to do with workplace friends, for some of us.

I consider the article to be potentially damaging.

I would call this article to be an artefact from the before-times mindset, but I do understand that I am not in the same position as a lot of FTEs.

Re: You Shouldn't Make Friends at Work

#23

Down the line, I believe it is important to be sociable and a “nice guy” at work, but I also believe that making friends in the workplace is very dangerous. It’s a work place, you never know what can happen, you could get fired, or hesitate to jump on a good opportunity outside of the company because you are emotionally attached to “friends”.

> very dangerous

You and I have different definitions of 'very dangerous'.

Re: You Shouldn't Make Friends at Work

#24

Many people will say that they made friends are work. However, the workplace is a competitive environment and those "friendships" get a reality check when it's time to chase that promotion/raise/new position or when things go South.

all "friendships" get a reality check quite often, at work or not..

You're not usually competing against your friends for your career and livelihood...

Re: You Shouldn't Make Friends at Work

#25
post #6

Hard disagree. I spent a very significant amount of my waking time working. This is one of the best opportunities to make friends, and IMHO it's also nicer to work with friends than with non-friends. Most of the friends I made as an adult came from a work related setting.

fully agree with this. Plus, if you're worried about "promotion competitiveness" souring friendships with people in your team, you can always make friends with people in other departments and meet them during lunch. This doesnt have to be a hard binary rule

Re: You Shouldn't Make Friends at Work

#26
When this guy says don't get caught up in the drama trying to create a favorable narrative, he probably means something more like, create a favorable narrative with more influential people at the company, not with people you like hanging out with.

Re: You Shouldn't Make Friends at Work

#27
I think its possible to like and be affable with people at work. You can respect them and chat with them.

But I can see the argument where you wouldn't want a "work relationship" to turn into a "friendship".

Friends might let things slip - and then there's resentment. That expectation of diligence might fade slightly in a real friendship.

I can see the argument to keep it professional in most cases. Having a work network and a friend network is an option.

Just make sure to maintain both...

Re: You Shouldn't Make Friends at Work

#28

Many people will say that they made friends are work. However, the workplace is a competitive environment and those "friendships" get a reality check when it's time to chase that promotion/raise/new position or when things go South.

Agreed, that has been my experience as well.

Re: You Shouldn't Make Friends at Work

#29

I think it's a bit unethical to post narrow opinion pieces on 'psychologytoday' while masquerading as fact (strong words, but I would simply be happy with them posting 'opinion piece' at the top) I disagree with the article, or at least think it is blinkered. Some of my best friends were made through work. Drama has nothing to do with workplace friends, for some of us. I consider the article to be potentially damagin…

Relevant Feynman:

https://youtu.be/zkFPCTwPlkU?si=jNUDo-ft_9ESzmMk

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