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Losing my son

fortressofdoors.com

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Re: Losing my son

#211

Post by EA »

pneumic wrote: post #199
larsiusprime wrote: post #48

I have to say I'm really humbled to suddenly see this on the front page. Today was a particularly hard day; I won't go into details but taking care of a permanently disabled invalid involves a lot of ups and downs and some fairly messy manual labor to keep them comfortable and in good shape. I love you all. Hug your kids if you have em. EDIT: The above blog post here was one of three things I wrote in the immediate a…

I couldn't bear to finish reading your story, for which I apologize. Our son is physically and developmentally disabled and though not at all near the level of yours, he will probably require assistance for the rest of his life. I will think about your family and story often, and may God keep you all, especially your beautiful little boy.

Agree that this is very heavy. I appreciate OP's vulnerability. I've got little ones and I need to read this; I just can't right now. I'll be glad do donate to OP if that's what we're doing.

Re: Losing my son

#212

Post by rahultuladhar »

pattesseriedude wrote: post #32

I’m really feeling sorry for both the author and his family. Can’t imagine what they must be going through. When I was 10 my oldest sibling went through a coma and after coming out of it some time later she did some things that my parents were not happy about. My family was going through some things and me being the youngest was completely neglected. I was shoved in a room and my family being well off all the problem…

Thank you for sharing your story. As you pray for the author and his family, I too wish to pray for you and yours. Take care.

Re: Losing my son

#213

Post by khaledh »

larsiusprime wrote: post #48

I have to say I'm really humbled to suddenly see this on the front page. Today was a particularly hard day; I won't go into details but taking care of a permanently disabled invalid involves a lot of ups and downs and some fairly messy manual labor to keep them comfortable and in good shape. I love you all. Hug your kids if you have em. EDIT: The above blog post here was one of three things I wrote in the immediate a…

My son has a severe intellectual disability, he's non verbal, still wears diapers (age 12), and requires assistance in almost every aspect of his life. I still remember the day we received his diagnosis 9 years ago. The word "devastating" can only describe a small part of what we felt. Today, I consider him a gift from God. He made everything fall into perspective. His purity and unconditional love brings us tremendous joy, even though the physical and mental aspects of caring for him can be tiresome sometimes.

I know how it feels when calamity hits. It's ugly. But with, time it gets easier. Hang in there, and know that you're not alone.

Re: Losing my son

#214

Post by bowsamic »

wegfawefgawefg wrote: post #194
malteof wrote: post #132

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well, the Buddhists are more optimistic than that! They have lots of techniques and ways of thinking to reduce suffering. I recommend reading up on their life philosophy, they’re far from nihilists.

The absense of the need for optimism is not the same as optimism.

The main doctrine of Buddhism is that eternal bliss is possible, how is that not optimistic? I'm a Jodo Shinshu Pure Land Buddhist and as far as I can tell all Buddhists believe in this, it's the third noble truth after all.

To me it seems more optimistic to think that our current life is somehow limited and flawed and that a mind and experience beyond it is possible (Buddhahood) than to think that it's not possible and we are stuck as limited suffering beings.

Re: Losing my son

#215

Post by bowsamic »

stef25 wrote: post #182
malteof wrote: post #132

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well, the Buddhists are more optimistic than that! They have lots of techniques and ways of thinking to reduce suffering. I recommend reading up on their life philosophy, they’re far from nihilists.

Links ?

https://tricycle.org/beginners/

https://www.amazon.de/Buddhas-Words-Anthology-Discourses-Tea...

https://suttacentral.net/mn

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heart_Sutra

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P%C4%81ramit%C4%81

https://www.amazon.de/-/en/Charles-B-Jones/dp/1611808901/

https://www.amazon.com/The-Library-of-Wisdom-and-Compassion-...

http://shinranworks.com/

Re: Losing my son

#216

Post by bowsamic »

seoulmetro wrote: post #59

[flagged]

I agree it's totally necessary to do this to live a fulfilling life, however it's unrealistic for most. It usually takes hundreds of hours of psychoanalysis to even come close to "getting over it", or even discovering what "it" is in the first place. Unfortunately most countries healthcare systems and/or peoples' wallets aren't equipped to deal with that.

Re: Losing my son

#217

Post by kayodelycaon »

dartharva wrote: post #206
WizardClickBoy wrote: post #200

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I feel like there's a misunderstanding here of there being a choice for victims of complex trauma to make between "suffering" and "coping". It is not as binary as this and I know people to whom this advice would be not only unhelpful but actively destructive. > What else can you even say? Try: nothing.

If the answer is nothing, we might as well not have this and the parent discussion at all then. Do you not see how that's directly analogous to supporting moving on silently?

There’s nothing wrong with discussing a problem if you try to understand the problem first.

You haven’t asked why so many people get stuck. Why is it so hard to move on? Why do some people manage and others don’t?

You have to genuinely want to know these things, not just ask to check a box or make people convince you with some kind of evidence.

Re: Losing my son

#218

Post by aproductguy »

larsiusprime wrote: post #48

I have to say I'm really humbled to suddenly see this on the front page. Today was a particularly hard day; I won't go into details but taking care of a permanently disabled invalid involves a lot of ups and downs and some fairly messy manual labor to keep them comfortable and in good shape. I love you all. Hug your kids if you have em. EDIT: The above blog post here was one of three things I wrote in the immediate a…

We love you too.

Re: Losing my son

#219

Post by ChrisMarshallNY »

larsiusprime wrote: post #48

I have to say I'm really humbled to suddenly see this on the front page. Today was a particularly hard day; I won't go into details but taking care of a permanently disabled invalid involves a lot of ups and downs and some fairly messy manual labor to keep them comfortable and in good shape. I love you all. Hug your kids if you have em. EDIT: The above blog post here was one of three things I wrote in the immediate a…

I have an adult child with severe mental illness. It makes life less-than-easy, but others have it worse (including her). She will probably live with us until we check out. One of the things that concerns me, is how to help her, after we are gone.

I have also had many close associations and friends lose children, relatives, and associates; often, to unnatural causes. It has to do with the demographic I hang with.

Re: Losing my son

#220

Post by WhackyIdeas »

EA wrote: post #211
pneumic wrote: post #199

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I couldn't bear to finish reading your story, for which I apologize. Our son is physically and developmentally disabled and though not at all near the level of yours, he will probably require assistance for the rest of his life. I will think about your family and story often, and may God keep you all, especially your beautiful little boy.

Agree that this is very heavy. I appreciate OP's vulnerability. I've got little ones and I need to read this; I just can't right now. I'll be glad do donate to OP if that's what we're doing.

He said the article was not about asking for money
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