81–90 of 288 posts
I have a lot of things I started during those weeks off that never really make it off the ground, because the interest falls to 0 the second work starts back up.
Creating a product and seeing people loving it brings me the most joy, from my experience.
I don't have much to offer you, but I have some questions if you're willing to answer: 1. Do you have a live in partner and/or children? 2. Do you work remotely? I ask because I'm seeing similar sentiments more lately from friends who work remotely and live alone. Even those with active social lives still have this sense of lack of fulfillment. But I don't see it amongst peers with live in partners or children or who…
(Edit: just one semi counterexample) I work remotely with a live in partner of 7 years and we’re both feeling a lack of fulfillment. I work remotely, they work in an office. Sure the pandemic might have had some play here but I don’t think it’s because we’re not in an office so much as these last few years have put things like “work” into perspective.
I used to have one or more side projects going on all the time. With work and family, I currently don't really have the energy to make consistent progress, so instead I do very small things, mostly not software. Like, baking a sourdough bread usually spans two days, with not too much work on each of these days. Will it be The Next Big Thing? Well, only at our next meal :-) That's the scope of projects I can manage th…
The best part about it is that you can share it with almost anyone and they’re going to appreciate it, which is hardly true of most software.
I try to just sort of follow my interests in my free time instead of optimizing it or trying to find some "side hustle." Sometimes I'll be fiddling around with programming related stuff, sometimes its music, sometimes I get into a game for a while. Last summer it was (kind of out of left field for me) fishing - just bought a rod and some tackle and started going out.
If there's any antidote for "the hustle" it's fishing - sure, you can spend 1000s on gear if you want, but at the end of the day, you're going to go sit out in nature for a while and some days you just won't get a single bite. The first few times that happened, it bugged me, until I realized that sitting by the water for a couple of hours is a great use of time regardless of whether I see a single fish.
Another thing I like about fishing is it's just active enough that it keeps my mind busy - instead of sitting there worrying about the budget or whatever, I', just thinking "maybe I should try reeling a bit differently" or "maybe I should move down the bank a bit" or "maybe I'll tie on that new lure". It's like perfectly tuned to keep me pleasantly distracted while not being stressful or high-pressure in the least.
My oldest son asked for a kayak this Christmas, and I found a pretty good deal on a pair of fishing-style kayaks from a local guy who was getting rid of his. I'm very much looking forward to trying some kayak fishing this summer, there's so many good looking spots that weren't really accessible from the shore.
Speaking of kids, that's also a great way to pull myself away from the drive to constantly be doing something new and "productive". They keep me busy and while there's times I wish for a little more free time, overall they're a blast. My oldest and middle child are now old enough to game with me - we spent a lot of time over the Christmas break playing through the new Mario game, Mindustry, and even a bit of Fortnite (that's their thing, not mine, but it's something to do).
There are a lot of things you can learn that are inherently *fun*. Maybe try learning something that sounds fun and interesting to you! Some examples for myself include things like Ham Radio, how and why radio signals bounce off the atmosphere. Or cooking, figure out how to make the best salsa you've ever had by getting a molcajete and fire roasting some tomatillos and peppers. Or go learn Unreal Engine, and the endless wonders and rabbit holes therein. Or make your own toy programming language, or teach people about programming, or make it a goal to make the best apple pie, or chili, (or insert your favorite food here) that you've ever had. Learn how to make the best margaritas the world has ever seen. Or take up making homemade ice cream. Get into 3d modelling or animation or texturing. Take up dog training, and do agility or dog dancing. Take up camping, hiking, backpacking, cross country skiing, mountain biking. Learn about wilderness survival, or backcountry emergency medicine. Getting certifications can be a fun way to force yourself to learn things you wouldn't otherwise, and my ham radio license and emergency medicine first responder certifications were really fun to get. Learning to draw can be super fun, and easier than you might think (get the book "Drawing with the Right Side of the Brain"). Fitness, take up some form of exercise that sounds fun to you; in my case I did powerlifting. Take the Fastai course and learn to make ML models from scratch. Learn to fly the A10 Warthog in DCS-- they say that if you can do that, you can do anything in simulation gaming. I'd go further than that and say that learning all the content in the FastAI course was easier than attaining a level of mastery with the A10.
People skills: One of the most impactful things I've ever done is take the Masterclass in Negotiation. That and reading the book Nonviolent Communication changed how I think about and deal with people forever. The book on body language, What Every Body is Thinking is very fun and will help make you never be bored in a meeting again. The Like Switch is also pretty great. Together I consider these a pretty fabulous two semester course in dealing with people.
Getting started is always the hardest part. Once you get some momentum on something it gets easier. A lot of these things can be combined, like you can listen to tutorials about how to fly the A10 while you're out walking.
Are you 35-45-ish? Ask your doctor to check your hormone levels. This sounds SUPER familiar, and therapy ain't gonna patch the leak if the lugnuts aren't even holding the wheel on.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is a step in the right direction but it is still wrong. Yes, whatever praise or accolades you earn from work will be things you can never take with you when you pass. But the same also goes for whatever enjoyment you get from hobbies, interests or activities. You've just swapped one temporary source of happiness for another. Even if the latter is more meaningful, it is still temporary. It is easy to suggest focu…
> when you pass Nihilism is not the belief that there is no God and life is ultimately meaningless. Nihilism is recognizing that there is no God and life is ultimately meaningless, while continuing to sacrifice at a grinding job you hate, continuing to submit to the phony morality of those higher than you in the social hierarchy, conforming to social rituals and customs you privately think are bullshit, continuing to…
I became a dad last summer and we also bought a house. My 9-5 takes a lot out of me, there is always something to work on at our house, building furniture, chopping wood, groceries, and the baby needs constant attention. Luckily, I'm relatively happy at my job, not too many meetings, I'm free to work whenever I can, and I like the company, my team, the technology, and the service we provide our customers.
However, I wish I could spend more time tinkering on software and tech stuff I care about.
I'm not in the "nothing matters" group, I know that nobody will care about my open source packages when I die, that's not why I'm doing it. I do it because I find software development and technology interesting, and I genuinely enjoy coding in my (though now very limited) free time.
On the other hand, I try not to consume too much content, as it would make me feel unproductive, but in reality, I just need to do different things at this point in my life. With my current schedule, I had to recognize and accept that I can't read 1 book a week, I ain't doing 10 leetcode questions a day, I won't be a FAANG YouTuber, I probably will never build a startup. I can, however, read twenty minutes before going to sleep, and spend 2-3 hours a week learning something new and exciting, while enjoying my time with my family.
If you're feeling like you're stagnating, here are some ideas to help get you jump started that I've done over the years. There are a lot of things you can learn that are inherently *fun*. Maybe try learning something that sounds fun and interesting to you! Some examples for myself include things like Ham Radio, how and why radio signals bounce off the atmosphere. Or cooking, figure out how to make the best salsa you…
Specifically very little can be more fulfilling than an ability to save another human.
I’ll look into emergency medicine certificate