Advice to young people, the lies I tell myself
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Advice to young people, the lies I tell myself
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Re: Advice to young people, the lies I tell myself
#2This article has a section titled "how to get a job." The author then mentions straight away that he has never had to apply for a job in the traditional way. Following this, he questions his own success and implies that there may be factors other than merit that played a role. A few paragraphs down the author then laments people with imposter syndrome.
Yup. I'm not sure how you can read this without being irritated. Is this the tech equivalent of a social media influencer?
Re: Advice to young people, the lies I tell myself
#3This article has a section titled "how to get a job." The author then mentions straight away that he has never had to apply for a job in the traditional way. Following this, he questions his own success and implies that there may be factors other than merit that played a role. A few paragraphs down the author then laments people with imposter syndrome. Yup. I'm not sure how you can read this without being irritated.…
Well, it's about life.
Re: Advice to young people, the lies I tell myself
#4> Seek success because you deserve it and learn to love yourself, rather than punishing yourself for not being good enough.
The idea that I "deserve" success, and to be happy, is something I've heard repeated many times but have always struggled comprehending. I think to myself, well, why do I deserve it? Just for being alive?
I feel like there's a better way to think about this, but it eludes me. Does anyone have any advice?
Re: Advice to young people, the lies I tell myself
#5> Seek success because you deserve it and learn to love yourself, rather than punishing yourself for not being good enough. The idea that I "deserve" success, and to be happy, is something I've heard repeated many times but have always struggled comprehending. I think to myself, well, why do I deserve it? Just for being alive? I feel like there's a better way to think about this, but it eludes me. Does anyone have an…
Nobody deserves anything. That implies some kind of cosmic force or entity that is keeping track of who does what and enforcing some kind of justice. People get what they figure out how to get and they keep it as long as they figure out how to keep it. Random luck (good or bad) can happen to anyone at any time.
It may not seem "fair" (whatever fair means), but it makes a lot more sense given the data than other explanations.
Re: Advice to young people, the lies I tell myself
#6> Seek success because you deserve it and learn to love yourself, rather than punishing yourself for not being good enough. The idea that I "deserve" success, and to be happy, is something I've heard repeated many times but have always struggled comprehending. I think to myself, well, why do I deserve it? Just for being alive? I feel like there's a better way to think about this, but it eludes me. Does anyone have an…
> The idea that I "deserve" success, and to be happy, is something I've heard repeated many times but have always struggled comprehending. I think to myself, well, why do I deserve it? Just for being alive?
I get that. Some of it is because Success and Deserve are imprecisely defined - while I Deserve is declarative (and kind of precise). It makes the concept a weird fit.
Past that: I think the point of 'I Deserve Success' is to break the association between Deserve and Effort. I suspect you aren't sure those two things should be broken apart. *
As for what might work better for you: Considering whether or not you are welcoming of success when it arrives. If you aren't, Imposter Syndrome might be on the table. If you do welcome success, maybe you're already okay.
* I know I'm hesitant to break Deserve and Effort apart. It's tied to my negative feelings about telling kids they're smart - because kids can't earn intelligence. I think the unearned elevation (here, anyway) skews expectations and makes learning harderRe: Advice to young people, the lies I tell myself
#7> Seek success because you deserve it and learn to love yourself, rather than punishing yourself for not being good enough. The idea that I "deserve" success, and to be happy, is something I've heard repeated many times but have always struggled comprehending. I think to myself, well, why do I deserve it? Just for being alive? I feel like there's a better way to think about this, but it eludes me. Does anyone have an…
> The idea that I "deserve" success, and to be happy, is something I've heard repeated many times but have always struggled comprehending. I think to myself, well, why do I deserve it? Just for being alive?
It’s some kind of self suggestion or fake it till you make it towards oneself. I myself think more in line with your reasoning and have trouble claiming that success unless there’s a lot of hard work involved or just a big dose of luck.
Re: Advice to young people, the lies I tell myself
#8> Seek success because you deserve it and learn to love yourself, rather than punishing yourself for not being good enough. The idea that I "deserve" success, and to be happy, is something I've heard repeated many times but have always struggled comprehending. I think to myself, well, why do I deserve it? Just for being alive? I feel like there's a better way to think about this, but it eludes me. Does anyone have an…
Perhaps success is not deserved, but with enough anxiety you somehow can miss important milestones and the feeling of progress. So you "deserve" to experience that by making and effort to live in the now.
Re: Advice to young people, the lies I tell myself
#9> Seek success because you deserve it and learn to love yourself, rather than punishing yourself for not being good enough. The idea that I "deserve" success, and to be happy, is something I've heard repeated many times but have always struggled comprehending. I think to myself, well, why do I deserve it? Just for being alive? I feel like there's a better way to think about this, but it eludes me. Does anyone have an…
You're actually posing something close to a religious question; nobody has any way to organise shoulds and deserves and suchlike happen without a faith-based argument.
However, as a practical matter, most fields are stuffed with people who are either not or barely competent. If you focus on not making exactly 0 beginner mistakes then in my experience that is usually enough break into the top 10% of people and achieve success. Sometimes better than top 10% in uncompetitive fields. No competitive spirit or questions of merit required.
Although making no mistakes is quite challenging. Don't get worked up if things go wrong.
Re: Advice to young people, the lies I tell myself
#10> Seek success because you deserve it and learn to love yourself, rather than punishing yourself for not being good enough. The idea that I "deserve" success, and to be happy, is something I've heard repeated many times but have always struggled comprehending. I think to myself, well, why do I deserve it? Just for being alive? I feel like there's a better way to think about this, but it eludes me. Does anyone have an…
Nobody deserves anything. That implies some kind of cosmic force or entity that is keeping track of who does what and enforcing some kind of justice. People get what they figure out how to get and they keep it as long as they figure out how to keep it. Random luck (good or bad) can happen to anyone at any time. It may not seem "fair" (whatever fair means), but it makes a lot more sense given the data than other expla…
> Nobody deserves anything. That implies some kind of cosmic force or entity that is keeping track of who does what and enforcing some kind of justice.
You’re right that it relies on a divine judge which is why there is a moral argument for the existence of God[1].
1. https://www.peterkreeft.com/topics-more/20_arguments-gods-ex...