Trump gets skin and testicular cancer by end of summer, dies first week of October.
Biden gets fatal heart attack a week later.
RFK Jr. shot in the head the next day while touring Gaza Strip.
Ivanka Trump fills in, elected next US President, Kim Kardashian as VP. Supreme Court swiftly declares move constitutional.
Kanye claims he's been abducted by aliens, registers as lobbyist for extraterrestrial affairs. Will be found dead down a cliff in Greenland after solar eclipse.
Penguin cultured meat becomes wildly popular in Argentina.
Taylor Swift performs for Kim Jung-Un in North Korea.
Israel expands, seizing neighboring parts in Lebanon and Syria, activates a shielding force field over territory, dubbed as the Israely bubble.
Conspiracy theory about combined primate-pork ancestry for human kind becomes widespread. Pork meat sales plummet.
First trans woman carries fetus, gives birth.
Italian algea pasta startup fails because of AI glitch.
Worldwide emails get all routed to single Gmail account for 48h. Major data center fires ensues. Lost email data never recovered.
Pringles create new bologna-asparagus flavored crisps, which leads to global addiction crisis and instant liver cancer for 2% of world population.
Coca-Cola launches Water 2.0, a new bottled drink that packs 2,800 calories per liquid once, while tasting like regular tap water.
Dubai plans for new massive mile-high pyramid shaped water park.
Panama Canal moves to Costa Rica.
Study finds lecithin emulsifier food additives to be root cause of worldwide diabetes and obesity epidemic. Lead scientists die in a car accident upon publication.
Pet shop puppy get AIDS from ticks in Pennsylvania.
First transgender Iranian Mullah gets out of the closet.