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How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?

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Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?

#61

Post by hintymad »

throwuxiytayq wrote: post #45
hintymad wrote: post #20

I wonder how middle-aged couples deal with the sexual desires. Numerous reports, let alone anecdotes and shows, mentioned that couples with each other for many years lost sexual desire towards each other, while their libido still flowed free. To quote one of such publications: "Sexual arousal and desire appear to decrease in response to partner familiarity and increase in response to partner novelty". I guess it's a…

I've always found this really sad to think about. I'm attracted to my partner and I'd like to stay this way indefinitely, but I'm also aware my own biology isn't on my side. I really hope we figure out ways (medicine? mind tricks? fork in the brain?) to keep the candle burning in the long term.

What I heard is that medicine can keep one up but does not really replace the sudden release of hormone, which gives one this voracious desire and burning sensation

Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?

#62

Post by Quinzel »

ferbivore wrote: post #49
Quinzel wrote: post #7

If I felt secure in a relationship, having a partner that wants to experiment with others/date others wouldn’t really bother me. Everyone likes a little novelty from time to time.

You might find it difficult to stay secure when your partner says you’re no longer good enough. Of course, some people don’t seem to mind this much. Or maybe this fancy new Bay Area “polyamory” memeplex works really well. I find it hard to imagine any amount of coping strategies could dull the pain for me.

Thinking that your partner is suddenly going to think you’re not good enough because they see other people is an insecure kind of line of thought and the sort of thought processes that breed jealousy IMO. Being sexually exclusive doesn’t prevent people from falling out of love and moving on. People in monogamous relationships still sometimes decide their partners are not good enough, or they get bored, or whatever…

Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?

#63

Post by [deleted] »

hintymad wrote: post #20

I wonder how middle-aged couples deal with the sexual desires. Numerous reports, let alone anecdotes and shows, mentioned that couples with each other for many years lost sexual desire towards each other, while their libido still flowed free. To quote one of such publications: "Sexual arousal and desire appear to decrease in response to partner familiarity and increase in response to partner novelty". I guess it's a…

[deleted]

Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?

#64

Post by hintymad »

ToucanLoucan wrote: post #59
hintymad wrote: post #20

I wonder how middle-aged couples deal with the sexual desires. Numerous reports, let alone anecdotes and shows, mentioned that couples with each other for many years lost sexual desire towards each other, while their libido still flowed free. To quote one of such publications: "Sexual arousal and desire appear to decrease in response to partner familiarity and increase in response to partner novelty". I guess it's a…

That's more or less what got my wife started in it, not lacking attraction to one another, but wondering about others. We loved each other to bits (still do in fact!) but we'd only ever had each other in that way. We were curious. Started as swinging, but eventually we settled more into poly with a dedicated side piece for each of us that we have strong feelings for too. For us at least, it's completely normal to be…

Just curious, what if the novelty wears out even with two partners? I'd imagine it'd wear out twice as slow, but eventually familiarity will take over, right?

Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?

#65

Post by VirusNewbie »

hintymad wrote: post #20

I wonder how middle-aged couples deal with the sexual desires. Numerous reports, let alone anecdotes and shows, mentioned that couples with each other for many years lost sexual desire towards each other, while their libido still flowed free. To quote one of such publications: "Sexual arousal and desire appear to decrease in response to partner familiarity and increase in response to partner novelty". I guess it's a…

My wife and I are still very attracted to each other after fifteen years of marriage and a kid.

There isn’t the same initial “rush” or “excitement” of getting to know a new partner, but she jokes how I still make (impressed/obama meme) faces when she’s scantily clad, and she still seems to appreciate when I’m working out etc.

We prioritize dating and physicality, just like we prioritize other parts of our life we find important.

Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?

#67

Post by some_furry »

SCAQTony wrote: post #54

I thought this issue was settled in the late sixties and seventies. As "hot" as threesomes sound, the result of polyamorous consequences was once considered settled when the early '80s struck. i.e., Drug-resistant STDs and the emergence of HIV. Monogamy can turn into a boring gated garden whereas a threesome is a potential vector threat if not an emotional threat as well.

The risk of STDs in a closed poly relationship isn't any different than a closed monogamous relationship.

Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?

#68

Post by mr_toad »

XorNot wrote: post #51
irrational wrote: post #5

I’m convinced this is the next big legal/political marriage change after gay marriage. Though, this one might be a bit harder for developers. I imagine most government databases are setup to assume a 1-to-1 marriage relationship rather than a many-to-many relationship.

It's harder legally: marriages at the moment end when one partner leaves or dies. A polyamorous marriage on the other hand would be more similar to the board of a corporation since it theoretically could be immortal through consistently replacing partners.

> A polyamorous marriage on the other hand would be more similar to the board of a corporation since it theoretically could be immortal through consistently replacing partners.

I remember reading a SF story that had that sort of arrangement, but I can’t remember the name.

Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?

#69

Post by scotty79 »

hnthrowaway6543 wrote: post #57

> How Did Polyamory Become So Popular? Housing prices. Seriously. Polyamory is on the rise, and divorces are at a 50-year low[0]. This isn't a coincidence. Where a couple would have divorced in the past, it now is financially infeasible in many cases. Living with a partner you're no longer compatible sucks, but not being able to afford rent sucks worse. So couples are pulling out all the stops to be not-divorced, inc…

This really reinforces my belief that all social changes, big and small, have economical and technological underpinnings.

Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?

#70

Post by toomuchtodo »

XorNot wrote: post #51
irrational wrote: post #5

I’m convinced this is the next big legal/political marriage change after gay marriage. Though, this one might be a bit harder for developers. I imagine most government databases are setup to assume a 1-to-1 marriage relationship rather than a many-to-many relationship.

It's harder legally: marriages at the moment end when one partner leaves or dies. A polyamorous marriage on the other hand would be more similar to the board of a corporation since it theoretically could be immortal through consistently replacing partners.

I’ve made this work with a multi member LLC. Anything an LLC can’t handle is done with power of attorney.
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