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How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?

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31–40 of 181 posts

Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?

#31

Is it really that popular? I've never met a single polyamorous person in my entire life, they just seem very vocal on the internet.

I've met a few here in Fargo, ND. More than when I lived in Tacoma, WA. Relatively large community of poly/swingers in Fargo.

Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?

#32
post #12

I’m convinced this is the next big legal/political marriage change after gay marriage. Though, this one might be a bit harder for developers. I imagine most government databases are setup to assume a 1-to-1 marriage relationship rather than a many-to-many relationship.

Every relationship in a relational database eventually requires a join table.

This is the funniest take on polyamory I've read in years.

Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?

#33

It isn't. I don't know of a single couple in my personal life or extended group of friends that went poly and remained a couple past 5 years. They all eventually split up. Why get married if you're going to be polyamorous. Seems like a bit of a hassle to tie yourself up legally and financially when you've otherwise thrown all other parts of the relationship to the wind.

I don't think this anecdote nullifies the question. A thing being popular doesn't necessarily mean it is a successful approach.

The question is a lie at face value. Polyamory isn't popular at all. It's just not as much of a taboo as it used to be. There's a giant difference between "what would your opinion of someone be if they were in an open relationship" and "would YOU want an open relationship?"

The first has nothing to do with you personally past your opinion of how you would relate to someone else.

Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?

#34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The data suggests it truly is more popular. The Gallup poll below shows that the percent of people who find it "acceptable" has tripled since 2000. The generational data, which admittedly would be more useful if it was over time, still shows younger generations are more into it. https://news.gallup.com/opinion/polling-matters/313112/under... https://sexualalpha.com/polyamory-statistics/ What data or info do you have…

Note that Gallup changed the question in 2011: before the question defined polygamy as "when one husband has more than one wife at the same time", after 2011 it was defined as "when a married person has more than one spouse at the same time". That may not account for the slope post-2011, but it's a significant enough difference that it's important to call it out. A lot of people who were opposed to polygamy when it w…

That is a good clarification.

From 2012 to the most recent poll it went from 11% to 20%. I realize "moral acceptance" is not the same as "widely popular" but still think it directionally shows a meaningful change, even if its a change from "very rare" to "uncommon".

Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?

#35
post #25

I’m convinced this is the next big legal/political marriage change after gay marriage. Though, this one might be a bit harder for developers. I imagine most government databases are setup to assume a 1-to-1 marriage relationship rather than a many-to-many relationship.

Nah, we'll just use the existing spouse_id field in the records to set up a circular linked list through the polycule. A conventional two-person marriage is just a special case of that anyway.

Linked lists can only have two neighbours, a polycule can be arbitrarily complex.

(Depending on the purpose for which the data is being used, it may even be directional — e.g. for STD tracking, it does actually matter if someone has a cuckoldry kink).

Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?

#36

I’m convinced this is the next big legal/political marriage change after gay marriage. Though, this one might be a bit harder for developers. I imagine most government databases are setup to assume a 1-to-1 marriage relationship rather than a many-to-many relationship.

$dayJob is a records management system for LEA, we definitely support many-to-many subject relationships. You have to account for past and present as well, so from/to comes into play as well.

Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?

#37

Is it really that popular? I've never met a single polyamorous person in my entire life, they just seem very vocal on the internet.

While not polyamory, a locum nurse at my daughter's first vaccination spent a lot of time telling us about the weird inseminatory/co-parenting setup he and his husband had with a lesbian couple. Like, a lot more time than the actual vaccination we turned up for took.

As is typical of British health care we'd waited a good 45 minutes after arriving on time for our appointment (at 9 AM), and I really couldn't help wondering if the delays were down to him.

TL;DR I am often tempted to think the very vocal nature is the intention, rather than the subject they're vocal about.

Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?

#38
When two incomes are not sufficient to live somewhere. When it takes a town to raise a child and the local town is ... cruel ... When people get less attached to mythical ideas like "nuclear family" (which is a pretty modern myth), or like the myth of "man and woman" as only model to a family.

That some of the really old male-centric cultures are coming out more visible with polygamy, along with some of the "free love" movement and their crossover with the libertarians with (eg) Heinlein's "Stranger in a Strange Land" ideas, well that's likely happening too.

I think a lot of reasons people explore this. Likely multiple often. All of the sustained groups I've encountered though have been mixed, distributed and really supportive of both each other, and others. A joy to be around.

Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?

#39
post #30

Is it really that popular? I've never met a single polyamorous person in my entire life, they just seem very vocal on the internet.

Pretty common in the Tampa area, but it's definitely an iykyk type of thing. If you don't pass the vibe check it's not something that will be brought up in casual discussion.

[deleted]

Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?

#40

I’m convinced this is the next big legal/political marriage change after gay marriage. Though, this one might be a bit harder for developers. I imagine most government databases are setup to assume a 1-to-1 marriage relationship rather than a many-to-many relationship.

Does a government really need a database of marriages? IRS is the only agency I can think of, but they probably don’t need to put it in a database. I’m probably missing something though.
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