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The Top Of My Todo List

paulgraham.com

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Re: The Top Of My Todo List

#111

Post by ams6110 »

cstross wrote: post #87

You only get one life: use it wisely. A couple of years ago I had a conversation with a man, then aged 85. Outwardly successful, he took over and ran the family textiles business his father had built, raised a family -- "but did you enjoy the job?" I asked. Because before joining the family business he first did a degree in electrical engineering -- in the 1940s -- and joined an engineering consultancy, and worked in…

I think anything you do for a lifetime has a very good chance of becoming "ho hum." After 25 years in the field, I am starting to feel that way more and more about software development. You see the same ideas come up over and over. The same wheels reinvented over and over, but differently enough that you have to take one step back to take two steps forward. I wonder if it's really possible to for most of us to reach age 65, and if we've spent that time in one field or line of work to not feel some regrets about what we might have done. It might well be that these "deathbed confessions of things I wish I had done differently" are largely unavoidable.

Re: The Top Of My Todo List

#112

Post by personlurking »

technology wrote: post #43
Estragon wrote: post #21

It's hard to step outside the systems of social domination which suppress dreams, encourage overwork, etc. because they operate from fears which are often so deep-seated we're often not even aware of them. Bringing those fears into the light and unlearning the reactions they trigger is the main goal of spiritual practice (at least of mine.) This sort of emotional study and training is on the critical path for all of…

Another tool for designing out choices is called "Nudge" [1] By a nudge we mean anything that influences our choices. A school cafeteria might try to nudge kids toward good diets by putting the healthiest foods at front. We think that it's time for institutions, including government, to become much more user-friendly by enlisting the science of choice to make life easier for people and by gentling nudging them in dir…

The word "nudge" reminded me of a motivational speech I had to give in Speech 101 back in uni. I called mine "Small Balls" (for lack of a better term) and basically went on to explain why you don't necessarily have to have "a big pair" to experience something new. If you routinely step a just a little bit out of your comfort zone, you thereby create new and larger comfort zones. This process can be repeated as much as you like and I actually used my own theory to give the speech since I wasn't exactly comfortable getting up in front of an audience.

Re: The Top Of My Todo List

#113

Post by vbtemp »

K2h wrote: post #27

My boss doesn't read hn, so I can get away with this. In the last few years, after my daughter was born, I made a decision to not work too much. I consciously reduced my working hours as much as possible. To my surprise and delight, my productivity and overall work completion has actually gone up. By being time bound (I am leaving at 5 no matter what) I often have to work like mad to get my work done. I have to make…

For heaven's sake! If I worked 2 or 3 days a week my productivity would shoot up dramatically! With a lifestyle based around communiting to work 5 days a week 95% of the year for a relatively good salary and very modest annual raises, there's little incentive to do more than the absolute minimum to get by. Unfortunately, even though it makes sense, no manager would ever work out this kind of arrangement while keeping my current salary.

Re: The Top Of My Todo List

#114

Post by mattmanser »

edw519 wrote: post #61

When I first saw the title of this essay, I thought I already knew what I was going to say... Something about how my own todo this now has only one item on it, the single most important thing to do next. I gravitated to this based on the great quote by chess master Jose Capablanca: [When asked how many moves ahead he looked while playing]: "Only one, but it's always the right one." (from http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/…

Brilliant, always do the right thing. So catchy and yet so utterly useless at the same time.

You sound just like the 'seduction' experts, 'confidence, that's what gets the girl'.

My mum had an episode where she quite literally went mad. We spent a couple of weeks visiting her every day as she was confused, scared and angry.

At some point I turned to my sister and said 'we have to go home, our lives have to go on'.

The irony being that 'home' was 100 miles away from where my mum lives as my sister had met her husband a year earlier visiting me.

Your story is touching and totally fucking stupid at the same time. My to-do list for tomorrow has 'Get loo roll, book a ticket for Splendour festival, vote'.

Your to-do list sucks ass as it doesn't actually meet your real life needs.

And did I do the right thing? I'll never know, I still feel like a shit as she screamed that the nurses were hurting her. Humiliated, ignored. Maybe they did? Lies I hope. I will never, ever know. Alzheimer's? She won't even remember what you did, you're doing it for nothing more than your own conscience.

We are living in a very, very odd time where our parents are turning into our children.

EDIT: The reason I had to write this is that your experience seems to me at odds with points 1, 3 & 5 of the list. And the horrible thing is it's going to get worse for all of us here on HN in the next 40 years. Medicine has put us in a very awkward position, one of being able to maintain the body when the mind went long ago. Or (imo worse) maintaining the body and mind when the reasons to live have gone. My friend's grandma openly talks about wanting to die as all her friends are dead. But does my friend's Mum want her Mum to die? Of course not. This is a very odd time.

Re: The Top Of My Todo List

#116

Post by davemel37 »

edw519 wrote: post #61

When I first saw the title of this essay, I thought I already knew what I was going to say... Something about how my own todo this now has only one item on it, the single most important thing to do next. I gravitated to this based on the great quote by chess master Jose Capablanca: [When asked how many moves ahead he looked while playing]: "Only one, but it's always the right one." (from http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/…

My mother went through years of taking care of her aging mother with Alzheimer's and made many sacrifices. So much so that she made each of my siblings and myself promise her that if she ever got Alzheimer's we would put her in a home and move on. She can't bear the thought of putting her children through the pain she endured.

Odds are, if G-Forbid this ever happened, we would be by her side every day, telling ourselves it is the right thing. It's the least we could do after all she has done and continues to do for us....

But it makes me wonder... What would your mother prefer? What would have made her happier? What choice would she have made for you if it was up to her?

Human nature is an interesting thing. Always presenting conflict every step of the way. The right thing can and will almost always be a representation of what your heart desires.

The weird part is, the more important the decision, the easier it usually is and the choice is more obvious.

The hard decisions usually are not that important, but rather a scenario with both options are legitimately justifiable, and both choices can be justified or vilified.

Re: The Top Of My Todo List

#118

Post by ph0rque »

pg wrote: post #66
javajosh wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This implies that you advocate working very hard for what is essentially an early retirement.

Sort of. More like working very hard till you achieve financial independence, after which you can do whatever you want. You don't have to stop working; you just never have to work on anyone else's terms.

[...] Work very hard till you achieve financial independence, after which you can do whatever you want.

This is a very interesting statement. The thing to keep in mind is that working very hard changes you, so that the thing you'll most likely do after achieving financial independence is probably more of the same (very hard work).

I'm taking a different approach, perhaps most succinctly advocated by Mr. Money Moustache (http://www.mrmoneymustache.com):

Become extremely frugal till you achieve financial independence, after which you can do whatever you want.

This is done with the same caveat: after achieving financial independence, you'll most likely continue being frugal, which is a very good thing.

Re: The Top Of My Todo List

#119

Post by twakefield »

#4 seems to explain a lot of the success that Facebook has had. FB may not be the best venue to maintain truly meaningful relationships but it serves an innate human need and does so at scale, which is why it is so valuable.

Re: The Top Of My Todo List

#120

Post by karterk »

mattmanser wrote: post #114
edw519 wrote: post #61

When I first saw the title of this essay, I thought I already knew what I was going to say... Something about how my own todo this now has only one item on it, the single most important thing to do next. I gravitated to this based on the great quote by chess master Jose Capablanca: [When asked how many moves ahead he looked while playing]: "Only one, but it's always the right one." (from http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/…

Brilliant, always do the right thing. So catchy and yet so utterly useless at the same time. You sound just like the 'seduction' experts, 'confidence, that's what gets the girl'. My mum had an episode where she quite literally went mad. We spent a couple of weeks visiting her every day as she was confused, scared and angry. At some point I turned to my sister and said 'we have to go home, our lives have to go on'. Th…

Your to-do list sucks ass as it doesn't actually meet your real life needs.

Maybe it does to him. He was just sharing his experience, not preaching everyone to do what he does.

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