The Top Of My Todo List • Hacker News Board

Re: The Top Of My Todo List

#81

Post by uiri » Sat, Apr 21, 2012, 10:07 PM UTC

pg wrote: post #66

javajosh wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This implies that you advocate working very hard for what is essentially an early retirement.

Sort of. More like working very hard till you achieve financial independence, after which you can do whatever you want. You don't have to stop working; you just never have to work on anyone else's terms.

I think that financial independence is the definition of retirement. It is only seen as a mismatch (and early if before the age of 60 or so) because the conventional path to financial independence is working for 50 years. Someone who has spent 50 years working and is now financially independent will not want to do any more work ever again. Someone who is financially independent at the age of 26 or 30 though will probably keep working. This doesn't mean that the latter person isn't retired; an unconventional path to retirement leads to an unconventional retirement.

Re: The Top Of My Todo List

#82

Post by scotty79 » Sat, Apr 21, 2012, 10:09 PM UTC

5 most common regrets reflect what most people do.

If majority of people worked as entrepreneurs not cogs they would have different list of 5 regrets. But they would still have list of 5 most common regrets. Only different ones.

I think that people when they die usually regret the way they lived because they all dreamt about something different.

The only way not to regret anything is never dream and be happy with whatever hits you and with whatever comes out of your efforts.

Re: The Top Of My Todo List

#83

Post by neilk » Sat, Apr 21, 2012, 10:10 PM UTC

I wonder a few things about this...

1) Is it a given that our regrets, when death is close, are wiser than the choices we made when death seemed further away?

We clearly choose to do things like move away from our family and friends, to follow spouses, chase careers, have different lifestyles. And that keeps us occupied for decades.

If we chose to do none of that, or less of it, would be feel like we were in a rut all our lives? Maybe you'd still feel alone when you were dying, because you never set out in the world to find people who really understood you.

Maybe you always feel alone when you're dying and there's nothing you can do about it.

I'm just exploring this idea for the sake of testing it; actually I do not doubt the article's wisdom so much here. But my next concern, I believe in a bit more.

2) I wonder how many of these regrets are due to the systems we live under.

It seems to me that even a few hundred years ago, "I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends." would be absurd. You'd be sick to death of how close your friends were (in the 1300s, perhaps literally). Americans are particularly likely to move long distances, though.

And as for living a life true to oneself, and expressing oneself -- would you even think of such things if your horizon was one town, or one tribe? Maybe you'd have to be far more discreet, without the refuge of a large city, or other forms of anonymity.

As for not working so hard, that seems to be the most tied to whatever our political and economic systems are.

Re: The Top Of My Todo List

#84

Post by ErrantX » Sat, Apr 21, 2012, 10:13 PM UTC

pg wrote: post #66

javajosh wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This implies that you advocate working very hard for what is essentially an early retirement.

Sort of. More like working very hard till you achieve financial independence, after which you can do whatever you want. You don't have to stop working; you just never have to work on anyone else's terms.

For the majority of people this is unobtainable. Which is where your theory breaks down, I think. Because if a huge proportion of people adopt this attitude and strive for independence, most will fail and be ultimately unhappier for it.

Which sounds like I am recommending resigning oneself to never achieving.

But really what I am saying is this; figure out realistic goals, add a little bit, then head toward them. Also, enjoy yourself on the way.

Most successful people to my observation fall into two camps; ridiculously talented and "lucky". The former have realistic high level goals anyway. And the latter are, by definition, random.

Re: The Top Of My Todo List

#85

Post by erikb » Sat, Apr 21, 2012, 10:21 PM UTC

pg, you should definitely learn something about cultures that are not so self centered then the american one. Your post reads like a prove of a mathematical system that only uses parts of it's own system. Of course it sounds logical.

Re: The Top Of My Todo List

#86

Post by Mz » Sat, Apr 21, 2012, 10:22 PM UTC

I can't think of any regrets that I have. There are things that seriously annoy me about my life, like I am deeply in debt, homeless and trying to declare bankruptcy/find some solution for my financial problems. But I got into this mess by getting myself and my children healthy when the world says that cannot be done. It annoys the fool out of me that there is no support for what I have done but I could milk the system for scads of money if I took the conventional course of treatment. It just makes no sense. It is so not right. What I have done is both cheaper and more effective than conventional treatments. And no one cares, neither about my plight nor about how to replicate my accomplishment for others. The whole thing makes me crazy.

But regrets? That would suggest I made the wrong choices. Given the hand I was dealt, I cannot think of a single thing I "should" have done differently.

So no regrets, in spite of wanting to spit nails about my situation.

Re: The Top Of My Todo List

#87

Post by cstross » Sat, Apr 21, 2012, 10:25 PM UTC

You only get one life: use it wisely.

A couple of years ago I had a conversation with a man, then aged 85. Outwardly successful, he took over and ran the family textiles business his father had built, raised a family -- "but did you enjoy the job?" I asked. Because before joining the family business he first did a degree in electrical engineering -- in the 1940s -- and joined an engineering consultancy, and worked in it for some time. "No," he said, somewhat sadly.

That's not to say that he had a bad life, but he'd let his father drag him into a line of work that wasn't his dream, and grew old dutifully following it. He was a ho-hum director of a company in a decaying old-world sector, while what he'd wanted to be was an engineer.

So my advice (for what it's worth, after 47 years of trying to figure life out for myself) would be: work out what you enjoy doing, then do it. Don't put it off until later, and don't let a false sense of duty lead you down a dead-end occupation. Don't chase an end goal, because if you get it you'll then have to figure out what to do with the rest of your life; build your life around the journey, not the destination.

Re: The Top Of My Todo List

#88

Post by Mz » Sat, Apr 21, 2012, 10:35 PM UTC

edw519 wrote: post #61

When I first saw the title of this essay, I thought I already knew what I was going to say... Something about how my own todo this now has only one item on it, the single most important thing to do next. I gravitated to this based on the great quote by chess master Jose Capablanca: [When asked how many moves ahead he looked while playing]: "Only one, but it's always the right one." (from http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/…

You did the right thing (re your mother) for the right reason, not merely out of some sense of duty. It's hard to get that across. Many people seem to think that "Do the right thing" means they should dutifully sacrifice themselves. I don't think it does. I rarely know how to express it properly. I hope your story helps make it clearer for some people.

Re: The Top Of My Todo List

#89

Post by rooshdi » Sat, Apr 21, 2012, 10:47 PM UTC

Nice reminder to constantly put work/life in perspective. Shifting from defaults can certainly be tricky when you're jumping from one thing to the next and losing yourself in the monotony of it all. There definitely is a problem here, as well as room for a better technological solution. Opportunity for a startup, perhaps?

Re: The Top Of My Todo List

#90

Post by [deleted] » Sat, Apr 21, 2012, 10:53 PM UTC

pg wrote: post #45

IsaacL wrote: post #9

I'd rework Paul Graham's list a little, as the first two items are phrased in negative terms (it's easier to do stuff than to not do stuff). " Follow your dreams; take a break; say what you think; cultivate friendships; be happy." The idea of putting them at the top of your todo list is interesting. At the moment I organise myself with Trello, one list per project, and at the top of each list I have a card that remin…

I didn't phrase them that way by accident. "Follow your dreams" is too strong. I wrote about that here: http://www.paulgraham.com/hs.html . "Don't work too much" is phrased that way because it really is a matter of avoiding something.

[deleted]