Earlier quoted context omitted.
Are you using Postgres? It seems like you haven’t discovered CTEs or lateral joins.
Oh, I've worked with all the major engines. To which we can add: trying to remember which seemingly basic features are supported by which engines, and which aren't (e.g. percentiles are great in Postgres, but you're SOL in MySQL). That there's virtually nothing "standard" about SQL syntax or functionality at all, except for the simplest of queries and the general basic concepts.
Imagine the fun we're having...