It's not hard for me, I work with my mind, not against it, on subjects that are relevant to what I want to do. That way, it's easy. That is the natural way of learning. What really ruins this process is cramming in so much unnecessary information, as high school or university makes you do.
Outsmart Your Brain: Why Learning Is Hard and How You Can Make It Easy
21–30 of 47 posts
Re: Outsmart Your Brain: Why Learning Is Hard and How You Can Make It Easy
#22I have a tangential question: How can I know which of these self help things are helpful and which are just snake oil? I can't get disciplined and I'm desperate. It's hurting my job, it's hurting my home life. When I decide to take a shower on the weekend it takes me 30 minutes to an hour to actually get up and walk to the bathroom. Then it might be another 30 minutes of scrolling before I actually hop in the shower.…
Fellow ADHD haver. You sound like you have ADHD and burnout. You need to tease those apart and deal with them one at a time. ADHD is going to be easier to get started on. If you indeed get diagnosed with ADHD. Do NOT try to do a bunch of weird stuff to "boost" your brain and fix your ADHD. Pills are good and I take them and if your doctor agrees you should then its a good idea to take pills. But I see people with ADH…
This is how I fixed my focus problems (written very hastily as I am short on time):
Watch out for domestic abuse or bullying in your life, if you are a victim of it, the upset from it will knock out your executive functioning for a while and give you ADHD symptoms, due to the effect of the cortisol stress hormone. You might need a few weeks (or even months) of calm to get back to normal. To reiterate, check for stressors in your life and things that are making you upset. That can disrupt your focus.
Also, if you find yourself wanting to get up and walk about all the time it might be due to your mind subconsciously wanting to get away from the sources of distress.
If you find yourself fidgeting, it can be the mind's way of self-soothing yourself, to calm yourself down, so that you can work. Let yourself do it, without micromanaging or monitoring your focus, and you will naturally fall into the process of working, as long as you are paying some attention to the work... So as the days/weeks go by you will find yourself spending more and more time focusing, gradually bit by bit as a positive feedback loop is being built in your mind. You obviously want to work and focus, so let yourself do it, without excessive control or self-monitoring.
Also I found it good to frequently play some quick game on the computer in between the work - and eventually the work will take over and you won't find yourself needing to play the game anymore. Again I think it's a way of calming yourself down.
That is what worked for me. And how I broke out of it.
Re: Outsmart Your Brain: Why Learning Is Hard and How You Can Make It Easy
#23I have a tangential question: How can I know which of these self help things are helpful and which are just snake oil? I can't get disciplined and I'm desperate. It's hurting my job, it's hurting my home life. When I decide to take a shower on the weekend it takes me 30 minutes to an hour to actually get up and walk to the bathroom. Then it might be another 30 minutes of scrolling before I actually hop in the shower.…
Indeed 'self-help' information by itself won't do anything. Getting disciplined = (behavioural) lifestyle changes.
It's like reading about different types of exercises. Postponing it, not doing it. Yet the bar is so low to do a SINGLE bodyweight squat (while brushing teeth, waiting for something in the kitchen etc). Do one everyday. When you do one, you will do multiple. And just like exercise; Doing almost anything is more important than doing the 'right' thing.
One element is to get into the habit of building smaller habbits. These are to overcome the smallest resistance, by combining, replacing, or removing activities / triggers;
* saying 'do it now' (out loud) to yourself anytime you realize your are postponing * 'just do it' and 'the obstacle is the way' are what i use to overcome my social angst for silly things. (including the embarrassmentfor this cheesyness :D) * 'weather is irrelevant'; ALWAYS go out for a walk in the morning, get coffee or bring it. This will have lasting effects for the rest of the day. * When going to bed leave your phone in the next room. (it's easier at this time then when you are on it) * Having internet free time (router off, phone in a different room); you can read something slower a (e)book, or listen to downloaded podcasts on a non connected device * find better interests / hobbies (higher value / exciting / soothing) * do some yoga / stretching while watching anything * take the stairs instead of an elevator, add some extra floors. * set just 5 mins for any task. you might end up doing more, but at least you started. * (video)call someone you like on a regular schedule, or do something together (Virtually or otherwise)
Bigger intervention ideas; - actually get into a different pattern for a week or longer; without internet, stay with someone else, or stay at home but clean the entire place. Go outside 3 times a day. Do light exercises. Eat different food. - talk to a psychologist, even if it's a one time thing.
You can't outsource YOUR passiveness, to someone else (a doctor or a product). Start small, with both the physical and mental.
Small changes may not overcome your bigger issues / fears, doing SOMETHING regularly is the first step. You might get to a slightly better state from where you can make new decisions.
Im sympathetic to your feelign that it might be ADHD - and you might need help for that. But I feel like you will need to make a start yourself anyway
Re: Outsmart Your Brain: Why Learning Is Hard and How You Can Make It Easy
#24I have a tangential question: How can I know which of these self help things are helpful and which are just snake oil? I can't get disciplined and I'm desperate. It's hurting my job, it's hurting my home life. When I decide to take a shower on the weekend it takes me 30 minutes to an hour to actually get up and walk to the bathroom. Then it might be another 30 minutes of scrolling before I actually hop in the shower.…
You kinda answered your own question: "another 30 minutes of scrolling". Sorry to be so cliche, but we all gotta stop staring at our phones. Side story: I have been taking the subway to work for the past 7 months and Every.Single.Person is staring at their phone the whole time. It's like dystopic sci-fi stuff. So, back to the cliche's, treat the disease (phone addiction) not the symptoms (distraction).
People in the subway are just people waiting to get somewhere, being on your phone in that situation is no more dystopian than reading a book which may be what’s on some of those screens.
Not saying phone use isn’t a distraction, but sometimes distractions are okay.
Re: Outsmart Your Brain: Why Learning Is Hard and How You Can Make It Easy
#25I have a tangential question: How can I know which of these self help things are helpful and which are just snake oil? I can't get disciplined and I'm desperate. It's hurting my job, it's hurting my home life. When I decide to take a shower on the weekend it takes me 30 minutes to an hour to actually get up and walk to the bathroom. Then it might be another 30 minutes of scrolling before I actually hop in the shower.…
> It's hurting my job, it's hurting my home life. When I decide to take a shower on the weekend it takes me 30 minutes to an hour to actually get up and walk to the bathroom. Then it might be another 30 minutes of scrolling before I actually hop in the shower. Have you tried counseling? This sounds like burnout.
It sounds like undiagnosed adult ADHD to me. The key is that is happens in all parts of your life, not just work.
Re: Outsmart Your Brain: Why Learning Is Hard and How You Can Make It Easy
#26I have a tangential question: How can I know which of these self help things are helpful and which are just snake oil? I can't get disciplined and I'm desperate. It's hurting my job, it's hurting my home life. When I decide to take a shower on the weekend it takes me 30 minutes to an hour to actually get up and walk to the bathroom. Then it might be another 30 minutes of scrolling before I actually hop in the shower.…
Nothing can 'make' you do anything. Moral Purpose overcomes itself. Don't make lifestyle changes because of something external. Find your inner energy. Seek nothing outside yourself.
> Nothing can 'make' you do anything.
Sounds like someone who's never taken modafinil.
Re: Outsmart Your Brain: Why Learning Is Hard and How You Can Make It Easy
#27I have a tangential question: How can I know which of these self help things are helpful and which are just snake oil? I can't get disciplined and I'm desperate. It's hurting my job, it's hurting my home life. When I decide to take a shower on the weekend it takes me 30 minutes to an hour to actually get up and walk to the bathroom. Then it might be another 30 minutes of scrolling before I actually hop in the shower.…
> I'll pay any amount of money that will make me sit down and do things. That's almost exactly what I said to myself that prompted me to realize I needed to go to a doctor. Not because I planned on actually spending any amount of money, but because that level of sheer desperation is what finally convinced me I had something wrong with me. Turns out I had undiagnosed and untreated ADHD the whole time. I'd seek a secon…
So once diagnosed what then, pills or is there anything else that can be done?
Re: Outsmart Your Brain: Why Learning Is Hard and How You Can Make It Easy
#28Earlier quoted context omitted.
> I'll pay any amount of money that will make me sit down and do things. That's almost exactly what I said to myself that prompted me to realize I needed to go to a doctor. Not because I planned on actually spending any amount of money, but because that level of sheer desperation is what finally convinced me I had something wrong with me. Turns out I had undiagnosed and untreated ADHD the whole time. I'd seek a secon…
So once diagnosed what then, pills or is there anything else that can be done?
Medication makes a huge difference, but doesn't cure you. I truly found myself getting on medication life-changing and it's what allowed me to get on a career track instead of bouncing between minimum wage jobs.
Now that I actually have an income, I'm also seeing a therapist who focuses in ADHD to help build strategies to mitigate the impact it has on my life. I'd say medication then therapy, in that order, have the biggest impact.
Re: Outsmart Your Brain: Why Learning Is Hard and How You Can Make It Easy
#29I have a tangential question: How can I know which of these self help things are helpful and which are just snake oil? I can't get disciplined and I'm desperate. It's hurting my job, it's hurting my home life. When I decide to take a shower on the weekend it takes me 30 minutes to an hour to actually get up and walk to the bathroom. Then it might be another 30 minutes of scrolling before I actually hop in the shower.…
Obviously I have no idea what you situation is, and multiple issues can have similar symptoms. And also I'm not a professional. Last but not least, I might be reading too much from your comment, and write useless or over the top stuff.
Having said that:
- Consider not saying to yourself that you're lazy. It works the same way as saying to another person that they are lazy--usually nothing good comes out of that. In CBT it's called labelling, here's a random article about it: https://cogbtherapy.com/cbt-blog/cognitive-distortions-label... - an important thing here is that it's not just about avoiding certain words. It's more about reframing your thinking so that those label words are not your first or even second choices.
- Apart from labelling yourself as lazy, I think you might be "should-ing" yourself in the foot by effectively saying to yourself: "I should/must not be lazy"--note this is already 2-in-1, should + labelling. A simple way to escape "shoulding" is to soften the language. Instead of "I should/must do X", say sth like: "it would be cool if I did X, but realistically I'm only able to do X/2, and it's still better than nothing". Another random article: https://www.therapynowsf.com/blog/should-statements-reframe-...
- You could consider trying ADHD diagnosis again. From what I recall diagnosis in adults differs from diagnosis in children or adolescents, so this time it might as well turn out the other way.
- ADHD or not, you could check https://www.adhdrewired.com/rethinking-adult-adhd-with-dr-ru... --dr Ramsay is a CBT practitioner that focuses on ADHD, but I bet the techniques would work for anyone to some extent. So even if you don't have ADHD, but only ADHD-like symptoms caused by something else, maybe you would find something there for yourself. He has a lot of free materials on: https://www.cbt4adhd.com/media/
EDIT: By the way, the other answer (very good, btw) mentions burnout, and the answer to it mentions anxiety. Those could also give ADHD-like symptoms. So you could research that angle as well. If you don't know where to start, you can check my comment history--I posted some comments on anxiety and depression recently, with some recommendations from my own experience.
Re: Outsmart Your Brain: Why Learning Is Hard and How You Can Make It Easy
#30Earlier quoted context omitted.
You kinda answered your own question: "another 30 minutes of scrolling". Sorry to be so cliche, but we all gotta stop staring at our phones. Side story: I have been taking the subway to work for the past 7 months and Every.Single.Person is staring at their phone the whole time. It's like dystopic sci-fi stuff. So, back to the cliche's, treat the disease (phone addiction) not the symptoms (distraction).
People in the subway are just people waiting to get somewhere, being on your phone in that situation is no more dystopian than reading a book which may be what’s on some of those screens. Not saying phone use isn’t a distraction, but sometimes distractions are okay.
Yeah I'm frankly getting sick of this whole "The problem is phones". No it's not.
Something happened somewhere and now everyone believes that any type of mental stimulation is bad if that stimulation comes from a device with a screen and doesn't matter one bit what they're doing. Screen === bad!
No instead you should be reading a book! What if they are reading a book? On their phone? NO! Not like that.
How many times I've had something making me not want to be productive and I just sit on my phone scrolling and someone who thinks they know everything is like "Your problem is you're always on your phone" No it's not, my overall average screentime for the past 6 months has been LESS than an hour a day. And it's only that high because of those few days where I do spend 4-5 hours just scrolling randomly throughout the day.