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Ask HN: How to help a shy developer to participate to a team?

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Re: Ask HN: How to help a shy developer to participate to a team?

#31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If the guy is just - for want of a better word - genetically shy and a sole-contributor type who likes to take tasks and bunker down and churn out code, implementing any of these suggestions will probably make them snap quit. I think the better question to ask here is, can you get the input you're looking for out of the guy through a method that best suits their style. These suggestions are very 'force the round peg…

I really learned something from this post. Obviously till today I did not understand REALLY shy people, nor ever had a collegue THIS shy. If anyhow I ever get into such a situation, I feel better prepared. Thank you.

We aim to please

Re: Ask HN: How to help a shy developer to participate to a team?

#32

I'm a senior dev, and generally reserved. I will make a suggestion once if I think it's worth pursuing, but never again. Louder devs get their way over me often. I don't mind. It's exhausting defending your reasoning to people who want to shout theirs instead of reason things out calmly and quietly together. If you're happy with his "good player"ness, then leave him the hell alone. People trying to crack me out of my…

How does a company make sure a person like you is happy? Genuine question. I always worried when working as a team leader that hearing nothing bad might be bad (and I miss a reason that someone has left). I guess you are not shy in a 1-1 to say you are unhappy about something?

Re: Ask HN: How to help a shy developer to participate to a team?

#33

It's called 'work' and not 'fun'. Gotta set the expectation that part of the job is not just being a code-monkey but being able to communicate effectively. Time to work on a plan together to improve communication.

Yes there is the "do what your paid for and quit whining" approach to leadership. But often being a good boss is worth more than a 20% rise. The stress of dealing with shitty bosses is just not worth it. Anything with the "your my subordinate get on with it" attitude just makes for a stinky job. Any boss that uses the word "code-monkey" is not for me.

Clearly the OP sees the net problem and wants to fix it. But you want to do it in a win-win way.

Re: Ask HN: How to help a shy developer to participate to a team?

#35

First, try to understand why he is shy and how exactly is his shyness preventing him from contributing to progress. Is he shy by design, even outside work? Or does he feel like he does not have the psychological safety to speak up? You can get a sense for this by spending some time with him 1:1 outside work and getting to know him as a person. Second, examine your own relationship with him. Does he trust you as a man…

This 1000x. Psychological safety is by far the most important requirement for group participation. You could be doing everything right for people in the middle of the bell curve and still have this person struggling because of something very specific to their childhood or personal experience.

Could you share about the way leaders plan, execute, and communicate effectively?

Do you have an email address or a contact method?

Re: Ask HN: How to help a shy developer to participate to a team?

#36

I'm a senior dev, and generally reserved. I will make a suggestion once if I think it's worth pursuing, but never again. Louder devs get their way over me often. I don't mind. It's exhausting defending your reasoning to people who want to shout theirs instead of reason things out calmly and quietly together. If you're happy with his "good player"ness, then leave him the hell alone. People trying to crack me out of my…

How does a company make sure a person like you is happy? Genuine question. I always worried when working as a team leader that hearing nothing bad might be bad (and I miss a reason that someone has left). I guess you are not shy in a 1-1 to say you are unhappy about something?

Money, obviously

Re: Ask HN: How to help a shy developer to participate to a team?

#37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This 1000x. Psychological safety is by far the most important requirement for group participation. You could be doing everything right for people in the middle of the bell curve and still have this person struggling because of something very specific to their childhood or personal experience.

Could you share about the way leaders plan, execute, and communicate effectively? Do you have an email address or a contact method?

Yes Chandra dot Kalle at Gmail
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