The reason I think users don't mind Apple's control of their devices is that the reality is that users don't control devices, programmers do. Also, security requires constant updates and updates cost money, so it's not realistic to use a device for a decade, because you won't have security updates from any company at that point. Apple has better updates over time, which is reflected in it's higher resale values. So o…
This is my take on the ecosystems. YMMV.
In simplest terms, Apple keeps users away from control. They make decisions for the user and often, it's reasonable. In some cases, Apples control makes useful features no-gos. Tasker is an example. It's either not present or crippled. In summary, iPhones are great choices for people that just want a smartphone. They don't plan on getting fancy with it, they just need a daily driver.
Android is more of a swiss-army knife, imo. It has more flexibility, at the cost of ease-of-use, to get that. The UI overlays, for the most part, are tragedies. AOSP is the gold standard for me, but Pixel hardware has been a shitshow, so good luck with that. Android is a more developed (wide-reaching) OS, being used in numerous IOT and other devices. In summary, its also a daily driver, but mostly for those that like to tinker or have an all-in-one device. The overlays can be a PITA, but you get what you get and some folks like them.
I'm a career SysAdmin. I've done seem edits on flip phones, I've rooted and rommed Androids, I've jailbroke my iPhones in the past. Now? It's just a phone. I use better tools for things I need to do, rather than try to bend 1 device to be everything.
Again, YMMV.