Solitude as the antidote to misanthropy • Hacker News Board

Re: Solitude as the antidote to misanthropy

#51

Post by haswell » Thu, Nov 16, 2023, 5:45 PM UTC

trgn wrote: post #38

lynx23 wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This might work as long as I do not take anyone from my family along... In fact, everything would be better then staying two weeks with memebers of my family at a remote place. The more I think of it, the more I understand why this article is abou solitude.

Right, the article talks about isolation more as if going on a spa retreat. In reality, an actual hermit will more likely tend to be an antisocial misanthrope, rather than a caring neighbor.

The way I interpreted the article, it’s not about being a hermit at all.

It doesn’t talk about isolation either, which is distinct from solitude, even if the two at times resemble each other.

Instead it points out the opposite extreme. Solitude as a sharp contrast to the realities of city life that we often don’t pause to consider.

As a city dweller, I find myself doing the same things described by the author (minus the nakedness, but to each their own). I spend time away from others so that I can spend time with them.

This is more about finding balance than embracing any extreme or becoming a hermit.

Re: Solitude as the antidote to misanthropy

#52

Post by ycombinete » Fri, Nov 17, 2023, 2:43 AM UTC

maximus-decimus wrote: post #42

ycombinete wrote: post #32

As the saying goes, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"

I always find it hilarious how the French and the English have opposite expressions. In French that would be "Far from your eyes, far from your heart", or "loin des yeux, loin du coeur".

Maybe the English saying was intended for the Normans

Re: Solitude as the antidote to misanthropy

#53

Post by throwaway290 » Fri, Nov 17, 2023, 10:04 AM UTC

robertlagrant wrote: post #28

throwaway290 wrote: post #5

Some of the biggest misanthropes, bigots etc. I interacted with online live in remote villages or even precisely like described, in a house in middle of nature. They never even lived in a big city but they think it's bad, streets are full of shit, every other person you see is a criminal or swindler (and don't even mention immigrants) and so on. The mistake of the author is thinking wilderness is required for solitud…

> thinking wilderness is required for solitude and being in a big city is not. Can't you be equally or more alone in a city? If you took the walls away, you'd find you're probably standing very close to some other people! You're not alone, any more than someone in a cube farm works in a very large private office.

> If you took the walls away, you'd find you're probably standing very close to some other people! You're not alone, any more than someone in a cube farm works in a very large private office.

That's what the article gets wrong too. Whether you are in solitude is not a metric of "distance to the next person disregarding obstacles". I am much less likely to talk or acknowledge my neighbor than my friend a thousand miles away in another country or a nosy passer by on a trekking track. I don't even know what my neighbors look like.

Re: Solitude as the antidote to misanthropy

#54

Post by throwaway290 » Fri, Nov 17, 2023, 10:09 AM UTC

vladvasiliu wrote: post #13

throwaway290 wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Nod" is direct interaction/communication and explicit acknowledgement of another human-- the opposite of solitude and definitely not required in a big city.

While it technically is interaction, I'd argue it's very different than what's going on in cities. As always, YMMV, but oftentimes, interaction is forced on you in cities and you can't get away from it. You talk about being alone in your apartment. Many people don't have that luxury. Even though they "live alone", "interaction" is forced on them thanks to paper-thin walls and their neighbors going about their busines…

> You talk about being alone in your apartment. Many people don't have that luxury. Even though they "live alone", "interaction" is forced on them thanks to paper-thin walls and their neighbors going about their business – no need for them be obnoxious.

That is a problem in some places. In fact, I have never seen my neighbor but I do hear him occasionally at wrong hours.

I don't know if it's that much of a difference than some random wildlife waking you up in the wilderness. Would you feel like you lost your solitude? In my case I do feel annoyed and disturbed, but why should it make me feel like I am now not alone? No one is interacting with me, unless I take others going about their business as a personal attack for some reason, surely not their intent?

But yes I think your argument is sound (sorry couldn't help it), I hate noise and in fact bad soundproofing is why I want to move.

Re: Solitude as the antidote to misanthropy

#55

Post by taskforcegemini » Fri, Nov 17, 2023, 3:04 PM UTC

trgn wrote: post #38

lynx23 wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This might work as long as I do not take anyone from my family along... In fact, everything would be better then staying two weeks with memebers of my family at a remote place. The more I think of it, the more I understand why this article is abou solitude.

Right, the article talks about isolation more as if going on a spa retreat. In reality, an actual hermit will more likely tend to be an antisocial misanthrope, rather than a caring neighbor.

but also has to act that way, otherwise people will not leave them alone

Re: Solitude as the antidote to misanthropy

#56

Post by trgn » Wed, Nov 22, 2023, 6:43 PM UTC

taskforcegemini wrote: post #55

trgn wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Right, the article talks about isolation more as if going on a spa retreat. In reality, an actual hermit will more likely tend to be an antisocial misanthrope, rather than a caring neighbor.

but also has to act that way, otherwise people will not leave them alone

interesting take, love it :)