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Ask HN: How many of you feel lonely in a crowd?

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Re: Ask HN: How many of you feel lonely in a crowd?

#31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This sentence has too many negations even for me.

There are barriers to loneliness that cannot be addressed by the individual experiencing it. And yes, it was poorly worded. It's early and I skipped caffeine this morning because of activity. Regardless, some people might not "fit in" socially because of age, skin color, income, or what have you - compared to the demographics of where they are living. There can be barriers that they simply cannot fix themselves.

yeah, sure you cannot hang out with top models but maybe there is a space for you somewhere.

Re: Ask HN: How many of you feel lonely in a crowd?

#32
post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There are barriers to loneliness that cannot be addressed by the individual experiencing it. And yes, it was poorly worded. It's early and I skipped caffeine this morning because of activity. Regardless, some people might not "fit in" socially because of age, skin color, income, or what have you - compared to the demographics of where they are living. There can be barriers that they simply cannot fix themselves.

yeah, sure you cannot hang out with top models but maybe there is a space for you somewhere.

This is a beautiful little bit

Re: Ask HN: How many of you feel lonely in a crowd?

#33

I’m sorry to hear that. Loneliness is one of our biggest social problems in the world right now and tbh not much is being done about it. Technology is driving us more and more away from human interaction and it’s becoming harder to actual be around people and even if you are you could still be lonely. I think you have to find solace in place you find joy and happiness. Even if it’s just going to the park and seeing p…

It is not a problem, it is a symptom

Re: Ask HN: How many of you feel lonely in a crowd?

#36
If indeed the internet is going to be a longstanding place for avoiding loneliness... I wish it was less like Twitter, fb, reddit, or HN even, and more like my circa-2010 WoW guild. God was that nice while it lasted. But I don't want to play games all day anymore. I just want the guild vibe back.

Re: Ask HN: How many of you feel lonely in a crowd?

#38

Yesterday a delivery guy asked me for directions and that interaction was my social high of the weekend. So yeah, I'm rather extremely lonely most of the time, but HN does not help me with that at all.

same... mine has asked me a question about crypto bots.

Re: Ask HN: How many of you feel lonely in a crowd?

#39
I've made a routine of visiting my favorite café for almost a year now. There have been a few days when I've felt a sense of loneliness, keeping to myself and observing the people around me. While I'm not actively seeking just any friend, as a straigth guy I do fantasize about finding a meaningful connection and overcoming the solitude that occasionally creeps in.

One particular day, a child mischievously spat on some desks and swiftly made a run for it. The following day, I noticed a software engineer who frequented the café almost daily, much like myself. Curiosity led me to strike up a conversation with him, inquiring if he had witnessed the child's prank. This led to discussions about our respective jobs, eventually blossoming into a friendship. Unfortunately, he later moved to another city, and was a good guy.

My advice is to keenly observe people around you, engage in conversations, but exercise caution in placing trust. For instance, there's a person who consistently greets me at the café but never purchases a drink to himself. On one occasion, he asked about my well-being, but I hesitated to delve into a deeper conversation, suspecting he may be taking advantage of free resources such as electricity and wifi. I believe this behavior is ethically questionable.

In conclusion, it's crucial to seek out genuine connections similar to oneself. While the transient nature of friendships can bring moments of loneliness, the pursuit of meaningful connections is a journey worth undertaking.

Re: Ask HN: How many of you feel lonely in a crowd?

#40
post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What stops you from fixing it?

Negative mindset

but surely that negative mindset is there for a good reason, it must give you something you value, otherwise you wouldn't have developed this mechanism
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