Live data from Hacker News

How to boss without being bossy

jeffwofford.com

41–50 of 206 posts

Re: How to boss without being bossy

#41
The trick is to remember that your job as the boss is to help your employees do their best work. Once that’s established, the language comes naturally.

That said, “can you do X?” usually always works. The answer is almost always yes. If it’s no, there’s probably a good reason why that lets you rethink the request.

Re: How to boss without being bossy

#42
post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Best" has to be subjective here? My personal favorite, combo of 2 listed, would he "I need X to happen"

> My personal favorite, combo of 2 listed, would he "I need X to happen" I had a boss who spoke like this: He was too afraid to communicate directly, so everything was implied. Instead of saying "I'm assigning X task to you" we'd have to play a game where he'd say "X is really important and it needs to be done". Then you had to ask 20 questions to extract the actual ask from him: "Okay great, should I do it" "If you…

Sounds like they didn’t exactly know how to prioritize a task relative to other tasks. Which could be lack of clarity or being pulled in different directions by 3 different project managers/product owners/dotted lines etc or lastly their own manager would be adding 5 new high priority tasks a day

Anyone at the end of the days it’s literally their role to handle the dysfunction and/or understand the products

Re: How to boss without being bossy

#43
This is some low performance team they must be managing. Interrupt-driven task allocation is inherently dysfunctional.

In a high performance team, it's more like managing a band. The manager is not the talent. You are Brian Epstein, not John Lennon. You enable the talent. You hire smart people, give them goals and the resources they need, then get the fuck out of their way. They don't take out the trash. You do it. Or hire a janitor, since it seems you value the task; that's someone who didn't need asking, because GC is already in their JD.

Re: How to boss without being bossy

#44
I've been a team leader and other "management" positions and most of the time, my job is to shield the team from external issues to allow them to do our needed work. It's also part of my job to show, by example, dedication to our common goals, even if that means that I'm there during overnight deployments or other uncomfortable / less-than-ideal activities.

So I see myself as an equal that has a different role to the others in the team.

There are occasions when there's something that breaks through that shield and then when I do ask either an individual or the team, they understand that I'm asking them to do something that I couldn't avoid or do myself.

Re: How to boss without being bossy

#46
post #22

“I need you to …” is too low level. It’s better to set the objective, how success will be measured, and who will care about it (usually a customer or partner), what the stakes are , and when we need to wrap up. If you find yourself as a manager telling people what to do and how to do it, take a step back.

"Your goal today is maintaining capacity and throughput in our waste disposal pipeline. How you get that done is up to you."

Engineer: invents self-dumping garbage bags

Re: How to boss without being bossy

#47

Anybody who says 'I need you to...' goes on the list, even if they are not actually talking to me myself. But more seriously: Ensure people know what and why something is important, ideally by arriving at that conclusion jointly and as part of an overarching plan that everyone can feel involved in - thus requests shouldn't be a surprise, they aren't coming from you so much as from the plan (nebulous though it may be)…

Yes. Good bosses do the shitty and awkward tasks for anyone else to do.

When a specific task absolutely needs to be done, the boss asks for volunteers, delegates, or does it themselves in that order.

The era of militarist corporations dictating downward, monopolizing information like it's some fucking government intelligence agency, and employees bending the knee to inflated egos upward is over.

Bosses now are organizational and individual employee facilitators of said employees getting shit done and improvements thereof.

Laying out what milestones need to get done and helpful bits to get there without micromanaging. Checking in and asking questions if there are any blocking items is okay.

Open-mindedness, dispassionate failure analysis, and 360 feedback are important to maintain professionalism and growth.

Re: How to boss without being bossy

#48
post #30

The more trust and respect there is among a group of people, the more direct they can be with each other, without coming off as harsh. There is a lot of implicit communication in a relationship with deep trust and respect at its core. You can say less, very directly, and usually get what you want, without offending anyone.

Yes. The trick is good rapport, a sense of humor, and respect rather than familiarity leading to contempt.

One anti-pattern I've seen is the "big fish in tiny bowl" syndrome where a certain person evolves over the years into an overpaid, arrogant asshole.

Re: How to boss without being bossy

#49

Here's how my wife does it... "Do you want to take out the trash?" My engineer mind interprets it literally every time :) Usually I don't mind taking out the trash... but occasionally I don't really want to. I have to always translate this to "She wants me to take out the trash".

Or. “It’s OK i’ll take out the trash”

That makes me so mad! Just put down a checklist and I'll gladly do it! Not sure why emotional manipulation needs to happen!

Re: How to boss without being bossy

#50
post #12

Neuroticising over how to word your commands (polite requests) is slave mindset, and such a person who does this is not a 'leader'. What makes a leader is not how you word things. But almost nobody walking around in corporate america has an inspiringly authoritative personality, and you can't make yourself into one very easily, so retarded articles like this are the best they can do. If you are a leader, then when yo…

>If you are a leader, then when you simply say 'go do this', the follower actually wants to do it and does not care about how carefully you handle their feelings. Nope, communicating with humans is the same art whether you think you are a leader or not. Some cultures have a strong sense of hierarchy, which in their business interactions is expressed in the petty, demeaning game of "act like a sycophant insect to thos…

Not all humans are equal. Some still retain the spirit of wonder and awe -- dare I say zest -- that allows them to find inspiration. Whether that is through internal or external means, they still can be impelled to act by the right stimulus.

To be civilized is to bend to genteel sensibilities; and nothing inspiring ever comes from that. Logically sound, rational, and convincing sure; but never inspiring.

Post reply on HN