Part of it is that happy clowns just aren't interesting to study or hear about.
Sad clown paradox
91–100 of 130 posts
Re: Sad clown paradox
#92I did a clowning masterclass in France a few months ago. (That was a whole, wild experience that I’ll be haunted by for years). While I was there I realised I’ve been operating under a certain kind of dumb philosophy my whole life without realising it. The philosophy is something like this: “I believe if I’m “good” enough, nobody will reject me for being “bad” and people will like me.” And fill in whatever you want f…
> “I believe if I’m “good” enough, nobody will reject me for being “bad” and people will like me.”
My philosophy is different. If I know my values are where they should be and I live in accordance with them then it does not matter if people like my actions or not. Judgments slide right off. It's an impenetrable armor.
Re: Sad clown paradox
#93This whole thing is pretty damn well-argued, paints a compelling picture. I see myself in it, but it could be in a horoscope / med student way. Humour is definitely a way to de-fang the world, and smooth over difficult situations. The "making other people" laugh bit is interesting, considering the smile / bared teeth dichotomy.
Also, "nobody understands anything that isn't funny."
Re: Sad clown paradox
#94I did a clowning masterclass in France a few months ago. (That was a whole, wild experience that I’ll be haunted by for years). While I was there I realised I’ve been operating under a certain kind of dumb philosophy my whole life without realising it. The philosophy is something like this: “I believe if I’m “good” enough, nobody will reject me for being “bad” and people will like me.” And fill in whatever you want f…
I realized this for different reasons, but it resonates with me.
I’m a perfectionist. The pursuit of success can be consuming. When you achieve it and try to connect with people over it, you’re typically coming from the wrong place. It isn’t really sincere, it’s misguided, it’s often achieved through unsustainable behaviour. The whole thing is a bit uncomfortable. Whether people are conscious of it or not, you aren’t coming from a relatable place. People will typically be kind and supportive, but typically, the perfectionist causes people to pause and analyze. They might make others feel worse about themselves, they might be obnoxiously modest or self-deprecating, and so on. It’s a hard way to be and it’s hard to be around.
You can turn it into something great, though. A retired perfectionist can be one of the most compassionate, supportive, understanding, and encouraging types of people once they let go of their inward obsession and put that energy towards others.
Re: Sad clown paradox
#95There's a related phenomenon I've seen a lot, sometimes firsthand, of people who consider themselves shy while others consider them the life of the party.
To me both phenomenon are about about a disconnect between a person's internal and external self. An introvert is someone whose internal feelings do not naturally coincide with the mindset and behaviours necessary to be socially active and successful. But since they still want to be social, or at least reap the rewards that come from being social, they construct a separate external self who acts more in accordance wi…
This is a fascinating analysis of the introvert/extrovert thing.
I call myself an "extroverted introvert". I prefer not to engage in social situations that involve more than one or two people at a time. I can function very well in larger social situations, though, and don't feel like I'm "trying" at all. People who have only seen me in those settings tend to think I'm an extrovert.
However, it does exhaust me relatively quickly. Perhaps your explanation is why.
Re: Sad clown paradox
#96Re: Sad clown paradox
#97There's a related phenomenon I've seen a lot, sometimes firsthand, of people who consider themselves shy while others consider them the life of the party.
I was just visiting a friend and the exact opposite happened to me - she suggested I was reserved when I would describe myself as outgoing. It was an offhand comment on her part and I'm not given to introspection but it did make me think. I remembered another friend who seemed entirely different depending upon his girlfriend being around or not. The thing that confused me was I couldn't figure out which version of th…
They're both "real". People tend to modify their behavior according to who they're near. They aren't "faking it", though. It's that we tend to behave as those we are around behave. And, conversely, those people who are around us tend to behave as we do.
Once you notice this, you can't stop seeing it.
All versions of ourself is still the real us, though -- we're just emphasizing and deemphasizing different aspects of us according to the social situation.
Re: Sad clown paradox
#98I really dislike when something is “non-intuitive” to the completely naive and thus a phenomenom is called a paradox.
Re: Sad clown paradox
#99I did a clowning masterclass in France a few months ago. (That was a whole, wild experience that I’ll be haunted by for years). While I was there I realised I’ve been operating under a certain kind of dumb philosophy my whole life without realising it. The philosophy is something like this: “I believe if I’m “good” enough, nobody will reject me for being “bad” and people will like me.” And fill in whatever you want f…
I think you're on the right track, but it's more complicated than that. It's not just success/failure, it's success/failure relative to one's perceived innate abilities. Take this example: https://old.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/17ql19y/how_to_work_... The fact that the audience member wearing the cargo pants clearly had a learning disability changed everything. The source of the comedy switched from teasing someone…
I see a parallel with that to "art". My favorite description of art is that it is "creativity under constraint". Pure, raw creativity isn't art -- art happens when that creativity is expressed inside of limitations. The limitations of paint, for instance, or of a particular literary or musical form, etc.
Re: Sad clown paradox
#100I did a clowning masterclass in France a few months ago. (That was a whole, wild experience that I’ll be haunted by for years). While I was there I realised I’ve been operating under a certain kind of dumb philosophy my whole life without realising it. The philosophy is something like this: “I believe if I’m “good” enough, nobody will reject me for being “bad” and people will like me.” And fill in whatever you want f…
I realized this for different reasons, but it resonates with me. I’m a perfectionist. The pursuit of success can be consuming. When you achieve it and try to connect with people over it, you’re typically coming from the wrong place. It isn’t really sincere, it’s misguided, it’s often achieved through unsustainable behaviour. The whole thing is a bit uncomfortable. Whether people are conscious of it or not, you aren’t…
I, like you, have flaws
Let me be sincere and straight
I am too perfect