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Stop making every conversation about yourself

thoguhts.substack.com

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Re: Stop making every conversation about yourself

#151

Post by AlecSchueler »

aurareturn wrote: post #150
AlecSchueler wrote: post #145

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes but A) I wanted to be sure we were looking at the same research and B) everything I found looked at bad as this one. Firstly the relationship between the strength of the men and the women's abilities to determine their strength is weakly correlated (r=0.33). Secondly, the sample of women here are all around 21 years old and all study at the same university. I don't think we can extrapolate what "most women" find…

Some women like a man with poop on top of his head more than without poop on top of his head.

What do you hope to achieve with this assertion? What should I take from it?

It feels like a very flippant response after I gave so much time and attention to your research.

Re: Stop making every conversation about yourself

#152

Post by aurareturn »

AlecSchueler wrote: post #151
aurareturn wrote: post #150

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Some women like a man with poop on top of his head more than without poop on top of his head.

What do you hope to achieve with this assertion? What should I take from it? It feels like a very flippant response after I gave so much time and attention to your research.

1 minute Google search:

* https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31167552/

* https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4892674/

* https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1634963/

* https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5745404/

There are so many more confirming the exact same results. Free free to Google yourself.

Re: Stop making every conversation about yourself

#153

Post by aurareturn »

AlecSchueler wrote: post #151
aurareturn wrote: post #150

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Some women like a man with poop on top of his head more than without poop on top of his head.

What do you hope to achieve with this assertion? What should I take from it? It feels like a very flippant response after I gave so much time and attention to your research.

By the way, after I went from skinny to muscular, I pulled way more women and higher-quality ones as well. Women were more receptive to my approach. Strangers smiled at me more. Some women gazed at me.

;)

Re: Stop making every conversation about yourself

#154

Post by owenversteeg »

tragicfootball wrote: post #149
owenversteeg wrote: post #135

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Natural is just that, natural. I have never met a human being alive that has never had a natural conversation and yes that includes people with strong social anxiety, autism, you name it. Maybe that’s when you talk to your mother, or when you’re drunk, or when you’re talking to your best friend, or you live in a basement and it’s some guy over voice chat in a game or whatever but I guarantee you have had at least one…

Pretty sure not everyone knows what "relax" means. People who overthink, people who go to therapy, people who have mental problems. Do you just tell them "come on, you KNOW what relax means!" Even if you had a "natural convo" with them, you'll never know if they were STRUGGLING to have this "natural convo" with you. I assume you work in software since this is HN. Never assume you know about your users. Please.

This is such an incredibly weird response, did you even read my comment properly?

You think people who go to therapy or overthink don’t even know what it is to relax? Not even that they can’t relax but that they don’t even know what it means?

I never said anything about perceiving anyone else’s struggle or issues… that’s an entirely different subject.

Re: Stop making every conversation about yourself

#155

Post by AlecSchueler »

aurareturn wrote: post #152
AlecSchueler wrote: post #151

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What do you hope to achieve with this assertion? What should I take from it? It feels like a very flippant response after I gave so much time and attention to your research.

1 minute Google search: * https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31167552/ * https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4892674/ * https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1634963/ * https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5745404/ There are so many more confirming the exact same results. Free free to Google yourself.

What does any of that have to do with poop?

First study had "mixed results," second is about a healthy level of musculature (ie the preference was for men without dangerous levels of atrophy), third says that too much muscle was as unattractive as too little and again all three focus only on upper body attractiveness which is clearly distinct from overall attractiveness, and again suffer from similar sampling/methodology issues as your first study. The fourth is based on references to the others and self reported sense of attractiveness in men.

Re: Stop making every conversation about yourself

#156

Post by AlecSchueler »

aurareturn wrote: post #153
AlecSchueler wrote: post #151

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What do you hope to achieve with this assertion? What should I take from it? It feels like a very flippant response after I gave so much time and attention to your research.

By the way, after I went from skinny to muscular, I pulled way more women and higher-quality ones as well. Women were more receptive to my approach. Strangers smiled at me more. Some women gazed at me. ;)

This is self reported anecdata from the male perspective and I have to call out again your sexist language when you talk about high/low quality women.

Re: Stop making every conversation about yourself

#157

Post by aurareturn »

AlecSchueler wrote: post #156
aurareturn wrote: post #153

Earlier quoted context omitted.

By the way, after I went from skinny to muscular, I pulled way more women and higher-quality ones as well. Women were more receptive to my approach. Strangers smiled at me more. Some women gazed at me. ;)

This is self reported anecdata from the male perspective and I have to call out again your sexist language when you talk about high/low quality women.

Come back to the real world. Human nature isn't sexist.

Re: Stop making every conversation about yourself

#158

Post by aurareturn »

AlecSchueler wrote: post #155
aurareturn wrote: post #152

Earlier quoted context omitted.

1 minute Google search: * https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31167552/ * https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4892674/ * https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1634963/ * https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5745404/ There are so many more confirming the exact same results. Free free to Google yourself.

What does any of that have to do with poop? First study had "mixed results," second is about a healthy level of musculature (ie the preference was for men without dangerous levels of atrophy), third says that too much muscle was as unattractive as too little and again all three focus only on upper body attractiveness which is clearly distinct from overall attractiveness, and again suffer from similar sampling/methodo…

And all of the research confirms women likes muscular men more than skinny men. Good job ignoring all the evidence.

Just google for more. There are a lot more studies for you to think that you're smarter than.

Re: Stop making every conversation about yourself

#159

Post by Leo_Germond »

Quinzel wrote: post #148
Leo_Germond wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

6 minutes seems awfully short, I havent practiced meditation for a long time but my sessions where 20, 30 or 60 minutes long, it takes time for the mind to settle down and to benefit fully from flowing consciousness. Anything less would feel like a rush job, which is kinda paradoxical for meditation.

Did it take you a while to be able to meditate for 60 minutes??

If you practice it daily, after about a week pushing that to 60 minutes shouldn't be too hard, it's not physical after all. What's important is to have a great setup so that it's super comfy for you to stay a long time without moving: hot, background noise should stay low, use some mat or pillow to sit on, and here you go...

Re: Stop making every conversation about yourself

#160

Post by Quinzel »

Leo_Germond wrote: post #159
Quinzel wrote: post #148

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Did it take you a while to be able to meditate for 60 minutes??

If you practice it daily, after about a week pushing that to 60 minutes shouldn't be too hard, it's not physical after all. What's important is to have a great setup so that it's super comfy for you to stay a long time without moving: hot, background noise should stay low, use some mat or pillow to sit on, and here you go...

I think I’ll need to work up to it over longer than a week, I find it super hard to sit still. But I shall take on board your advice! Thank you!
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