It's an interesting pattern to be sure. It's not all negative though (e.g. this thread has a few moments of positivity mixed in with all the folks jumping to the conclusion that we're trying to pull a Hashicorp). I have a few theories as to why it happens:
1. Communication is an intensely personal and social (even intimate) thing, and people get irrationally attached to how they do it - and so end up defending their favourite system, attacking ones which threaten it, or attacking their ex-favourite if they feel let down and/or betrayed.
2. I think this effect gets amplified in a feedback loop if you use the platform to build the platform itself. This is true of course for operating systems, desktop environments, programming languages etc. too - but it seems to be particularly the case for chat systems. Perhaps this is because it's intrinsically accelerated by the higher emotional/dramatic/intense characteristics of realtime chat - it's effectively mixing the intensity realtime interactive social interaction with programming. So if you spend all your life sitting in a chat system talking about and building that chat system, then spirits can run disproportionately high. You see the same levels of jingoism in IRC and XMPP too.
3. Culturally I think Matrix has picked up both good and bad cultural vibes from IRC - and for better or worse, one of the things that defines IRC is a somewhat elitist vibe: it's a fringe subcommunity for folks who are smart and informed enough to navigate the by-geeks-for-geeks interface. As a result, folks get tribal about it - both Matrix (although I pray that we eventually get mainstream), IRC and XMPP.
4. Matrix has been going for over 9 years now, and it's still not as good from a plain UX perspective as a centralised system like WhatsApp (although I'd hope that we've improved a lot recently, especially with Matrix 2.0 and Element X). As a result, there's been a lot of expectation and hype over the years, which hasn't always materialised as rapidly as you'd hope. So there are certainly those who feel let down.
5. Matrix wouldn't exist if previous projects had not hit a plateau and got stuck, and so folks who are still working away on previous projects are understandably irate.
6. I talk too much on HN and it pisses people off.
anyway, thanks for the words of support :)