“for a better home” that’s a bold assumption, though
Life lessons from the death bed
31–40 of 196 posts
Re: Life lessons from the death bed
#32At 52 I found this article thoughtful. We shouldn't walk around fearing death but an awareness of our mortality should shape our decision making. For example, I am at an airport returning from another short break.I have decided not to wait until retirement to travel. I may not be here or up for it.
Re: Life lessons from the death bed
#33"Whether the house we live in is 300 or 3000 sq ft - loneliness is the same" is quite profound.
Just moved from a big house in the countryside on a few acres to a rowhouse in the city and I am so, so much happier here. I had a lot of suicidal ideation when I lived in the middle of nowhere. I see friendly people every day.
Re: Life lessons from the death bed
#34Why would I optimize my entire life for a few minutes at the end of it. That makes no sense at all.
It's not about what you experience at the end of your life, but rather how you live your whole life leading up to it. People regret the things that held them back from being happy and loved and fulfilled. Their regrets during the last moments of their lives are moments of clarity when, with the noise of life removed, they finally notice the things they've been doing / not doing all these years that were hurting them and preventing their enjoyment of life.
I took such advice to heart at 22, and have lived a VERY colorful life for the past 26 years after vowing to never have regrets over what I DIDN'T do.
Re: Life lessons from the death bed
#35Touching stuff... It could be middle age tainting my perspective... but sometimes I feel this sort of... not visceral , but very close and undeniable ... experience with death is easier for people who are young. Death isn't real for most people at 17, no matter how much they have seen, many see the death of a grandparent, or two, or perhaps even four, before reaching 17, but most still enter their late teens, feeling…
As someone of the same age I feel the same. Sometimes I'm enjoying myself or finding it especially easy to be stoical about mortality. But sometimes it makes me breathless with dread for a few minutes.
The realisation I was probably born a bit too early for technology to give me immortality saddens me; I only have so many weekends left to do hobbies and even fewer blocks of a few thousand hours to master something new... So I have to prioritise which is annoying.
Re: Life lessons from the death bed
#36Great read.
As with everything, balance is key. But I’ve never heard of anyone on their deathbed wishing they’d spent less time with family and friends, and more time grinding away at work.
Re: Life lessons from the death bed
#37I always struggle with balancing the advice given in pieces like this. The author suggested that they "eat their cake today" suggesting that putting off pleasure is a useless denial. Death could come for us at any moment, but I can't live like I'm dieing every day. There is just a mountain of nuance and self reflection between living some bohemian lifestyle where every moment must be filled with something and some st…
Right! This whole life thing is about striking a balance between "eat your cake today" and "spend your day in the field cultivating wheat to make the flour to make more cake in the future".
In every moment of my life there has been some "cake" I could have "eaten" that would have been more enjoyable than all the hours I spent up in the middle of the night with screaming babies. But on my deathbed I'm certain it will be my investment of time in my children that I'm glad of, not the foregone "cake" I'm regretting.
Re: Life lessons from the death bed
#38I wonder what she means by entering the religious life. As somebody who was raised Catholic, I don’t believe there was ever a moment where I entered that I remember. The religion was present in my life almost since birth. There were important ceremonies like the first communion and confirmation, but those happened in childhood and adolescence.
I'm pretty sure she is talking about joining a nunnery or similar
Re: Life lessons from the death bed
#39"Whether the house we live in is 300 or 3000 sq ft - loneliness is the same" is quite profound.
If your house is big enough you can talk to the domestic servants for company through.
Servants or assistants might not provide you with the kind of connection that you long.
Or they could, if they care about you, respectfully attend to your needs and listen to you.
>Loneliness is the state of distress or discomfort that results when one perceives a gap between one’s desires for social connection and actual experiences of it. Even some people who are surrounded by others throughout the day—or are in a long-lasting marriage—still experience a deep and pervasive loneliness. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/loneliness
Re: Life lessons from the death bed
#40Earlier quoted context omitted.
The best changes I’ve made in my life are 1. Completely removing alcohol. 2. Removing highly processed foods and refined sugars. 3. Accepting myself for who I am, faults and all. I can’t change certain things about myself, so I just need to accept that and focus on the things I can change. Maybe I can’t change them today or tomorrow, but I can always work towards future change. And the most important for me of all -…
It really is the ultimate "life hack". Free happiness: learn to enjoy what you already have.
It’s not a trick. More like deliberate training like learning to read or basic math. Not coincidentally, a young age is the best time to learn it as it pays dividends throughout your entire life.
The best parents are the ones that instill that into their kids. Some will scoff and say that it’s teaching to accept mediocrity. Not at all, it’s about making the most of what you have, nothing to do with striving for more.