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Children of married parents do better, but America is moving the other way

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Re: Children of married parents do better, but America is moving the other way

#221

Post by bobbylarrybobby »

userinanother wrote: post #213
mvncleaninst wrote: post #207

These types of articles are doing the opposite of what they're trying to do. How exactly is framing marriage in purely economic terms supposed to encourage marriage? How is reducing people down to an income stream, a college diploma, genitalia, etc going to encourage marriage? Take this for example: > not because they reject the concept of marriage, but because they do not see him as a reliable source of economic sec…

Because initial burst of love only lasts so long. After that it’s friendship, economics, co dependence and the other things that keep families working tougher as one unit

Initial bursts by definition only last so long, but is it really so crazy to think that love might persist indefinitely?

Re: Children of married parents do better, but America is moving the other way

#222

Post by [deleted] »

corethree wrote: post #187
danielschonfeld wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This question is answered in the interview. She is saying that a household with a stable long lasting relationship is what’s driving these better outcomes. She’s also saying that in America marriage (unfortunately) seems to be the only way to keep people together for a long while (long enough for a child to not experience a parade of parents by the time they are 15 according to the article). In my personal opinion. I…

Yes hyper individuality is part of it. The other part of it is gender equality. For most of human civilization genders were not equal so both sexes evolved traits that are also unequal. The most glaring trait responsible for lack of marriage is female hypergamy. Previously women being of generally unequal/lower status then men and overall a smaller pool of candidates (no online dating) would be forced to be more egal…

[deleted]

Re: Children of married parents do better, but America is moving the other way

#223

Post by userinanother »

bobbylarrybobby wrote: post #221
userinanother wrote: post #213

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Because initial burst of love only lasts so long. After that it’s friendship, economics, co dependence and the other things that keep families working tougher as one unit

Initial bursts by definition only last so long, but is it really so crazy to think that love might persist indefinitely?

Yes, initial love and later love might be the same word but they mean different things. It’s a deficiency in our language and terminology

Re: Children of married parents do better, but America is moving the other way

#224

Post by Belopolye »

2devnull wrote: post #77
bequanna wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You absolutely can. Our family does and many of my friends do. They aren’t all wealthy people. It isn’t always a choice, but often it is. Many people can live on one income but choose a lifestyle that requires two.

Do you live in an area with high international demand for housing? Not all of the US is a hot spot for high paid immigrants, yet. Displacement is a real thing. Not everyone can change states or nations to make the finances work out.

Don’t let the reality that this was in response to a statement that implied a universal reality that it’s impossible to raise a family on a single income be lost on you.

I’m the sole breadwinner, my wife and I have six kids, and I don’t make fantastic money for being a developer ($60,000/year- took a haircut for this role for the 100% work from home). We make it work.

Re: Children of married parents do better, but America is moving the other way

#225

Post by Belopolye »

thaumasiotes wrote: post #67
pylua wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You certainly can, but going by the numbers most people can’t.

In what sense? Where are the people starving to death? Most people seem to be able to do just fine on zero incomes.

The issue for most is likely student loans impacting buying power.

Re: Children of married parents do better, but America is moving the other way

#226

Post by corethree »

ckrapu wrote: post #220
corethree wrote: post #187

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes hyper individuality is part of it. The other part of it is gender equality. For most of human civilization genders were not equal so both sexes evolved traits that are also unequal. The most glaring trait responsible for lack of marriage is female hypergamy. Previously women being of generally unequal/lower status then men and overall a smaller pool of candidates (no online dating) would be forced to be more egal…

An assumption here is that attractive men both pair with women at a higher rate and also have more children. I don't see any reason that's the case - the very largest families I am aware of in my extended social circle belong to men who are not necessarily the greatest catches.

>An assumption here is that attractive men both pair with women at a higher rate and also have more children. I don't see any reason that's the case - the very largest families I am aware of in my extended social circle belong to men who are not necessarily the greatest catches.

Three things.

1. Attractive is not physical attraction. While men are visual women have different criteria for attraction that is much more multivariate. Wealth, confidence, looks, power, personality. Generally, overall social status and height are the two most consistent metrics for female attraction preferences.

2. What I'm describing is a recent phenomenon. A gradual shift that we're seeing in the last decade or so, so relationships established at the beginning of 2010 and before tend to be more traditional/conservative.

3. Birth control changes the game. Evolution manifests procreation as both a conscious desire to have children and as sexual urges from men and women. Thus I may be incorrect here. It may be that thanks to birth control alpha men may not spread their progeny as much and that people in healthy monogamous relationships end up creating the next generation as hook up culture essentially is an evolutionary dead end with birth control.

Re: Children of married parents do better, but America is moving the other way

#227

Post by pram »

konschubert wrote: post #35
Retric wrote: post #2

Is it that marriage itself is beneficial or that people capable of maintaining a relationship make better parents? Divorce is significantly more common for bipolar, paranoid, and schizophrenic people for example. So I think we need to look at widows or something to control for those kinds of issues.

On a slightly related note, why is it that one gets lynched on twitter nowadays any time one brings up that "correlation doesn't imply causation"?

Because it has become a lazy thought terminating cliche since people say it and then contribute nothing else of value.

Re: Children of married parents do better, but America is moving the other way

#228

Post by em-bee »

Belopolye wrote: post #224
2devnull wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Do you live in an area with high international demand for housing? Not all of the US is a hot spot for high paid immigrants, yet. Displacement is a real thing. Not everyone can change states or nations to make the finances work out.

Don’t let the reality that this was in response to a statement that implied a universal reality that it’s impossible to raise a family on a single income be lost on you. I’m the sole breadwinner, my wife and I have six kids, and I don’t make fantastic money for being a developer ($60,000/year- took a haircut for this role for the 100% work from home). We make it work.

there is a hair in your comment that probably should not be there...

Re: Children of married parents do better, but America is moving the other way

#229

Post by konschubert »

pram wrote: post #227
konschubert wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

On a slightly related note, why is it that one gets lynched on twitter nowadays any time one brings up that "correlation doesn't imply causation"?

Because it has become a lazy thought terminating cliche since people say it and then contribute nothing else of value.

But what if the thoughts were dumb?

Re: Children of married parents do better, but America is moving the other way

#230

Post by pixl97 »

ndriscoll wrote: post #218
pixl97 wrote: post #186

Earlier quoted context omitted.

At the end of the day I'd say even talking about homemakers doesn't matter as much as you think. People in general like the addition economic freedom from making more money. Even starting at WWII women started working in huge numbers in the US and that number has increased ever since. The sending the money back in tax credits barely works in a single income house because the otherside in the massive increase of avail…

Maybe, but anecdotally, despite the zeitgeist of the last 10 years claiming otherwise, my wife and I both raised in middle class suburbs of different parts of red-state Arizona both internalized the message growing up that girls not working was an anachronism that only Mormons/Catholics still stuck to (and that it was "oppressive" or weird). It's so ingrained in the middle/upper middle class that people can't even se…

And conversely why is there no counter for men being stay at home rather than women? Other than a few month around the time of childbirth there is little reason for the woman to be the stay at home partner.... this is why I doubt the motivation behind the people saying "oh its just women's preference" since surely some sizable portion of men would also like to have this option.
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