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Do You Need a Visit to the Confident Man Ranch?

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Re: Do You Need a Visit to the Confident Man Ranch?

#5
Why do people pretend to do therapy to make money? If you can simply open a dude ranch and let people talk in a group during afternoon coffee break, why is that considered legitimate therapy? What's the difference between some dude with a dude ranch and a bachelor's in engineering and organizational psychology calling himself a life coach and someone with a PhD in clinical psychology who put time and energy into studying the science and getting vetted? Why is the spectrum so wide? Can I not simply start being a life coach ala Jeremy in Peep show, fuck with people's lives for 100£ an hour, then take the alcoholics anonymous cop out that the program works if you work it blaming you for any and all problems or difficulties you have along the way? If men need to go to some kind of dude ranch experience to connect with something that's fine I guess. Im not really talking about the men who seek these experiences. Moreso the ones who offer them.

Re: Do You Need a Visit to the Confident Man Ranch?

#6

Why do people pretend to do therapy to make money? If you can simply open a dude ranch and let people talk in a group during afternoon coffee break, why is that considered legitimate therapy? What's the difference between some dude with a dude ranch and a bachelor's in engineering and organizational psychology calling himself a life coach and someone with a PhD in clinical psychology who put time and energy into stud…

If all you need is someone to talk with, there is no difference.

Re: Do You Need a Visit to the Confident Man Ranch?

#7

The smartest thing I read about the question "What does it mean to be a good man?" was that the question was wrong - it should simply be "What does it mean to be a good human being?" In my opinion, it's a much easier question to answer.

"What does it mean to be a good human being" is more general, so a probably a little less easy to answer. With "How to be a good man" you can cater to a smaller group. Women and men have different needs.

Re: Do You Need a Visit to the Confident Man Ranch?

#8
My friend and I have a theory that a significant chunk of the problems mentioned in the article could be solved if every guy had a genuine platonic friend who is a girl. No data point other than every guy that I know who has close friend girls, never had problems with masculinity or something. And the opposite is true as well.

I might be in a very limited bubble as well, as my very close bubble of decade+ friend group is almost 50/50 guys and girls. We’ve also discussed this exact topic numerous times among ourselves.

Re: Do You Need a Visit to the Confident Man Ranch?

#9

Why do people pretend to do therapy to make money? If you can simply open a dude ranch and let people talk in a group during afternoon coffee break, why is that considered legitimate therapy? What's the difference between some dude with a dude ranch and a bachelor's in engineering and organizational psychology calling himself a life coach and someone with a PhD in clinical psychology who put time and energy into stud…

I guess the difference is in the severity of the persons mental health issues.

If you're otherwise healthy, but never learned or have been discouraged from doing "the basics" like talk about how you are feeling with your loved ones then you really just need someone to teach you how or perhaps just give you permission to do so. Maybe this is easier if you dress it up in a specific kind of setting, depends on the individual.

If you have some potentially diagnosable serious mental health issue, then of course you should see an actual trained clinical psycologist.

Sometimes you may not know which one you are, perhaps you go to the former and figure you actually needed the latter. Maybe you're happy with what you've done, or maybe not? At the end of the day you just have to try figure it out.

Re: Do You Need a Visit to the Confident Man Ranch?

#10
post #8

My friend and I have a theory that a significant chunk of the problems mentioned in the article could be solved if every guy had a genuine platonic friend who is a girl. No data point other than every guy that I know who has close friend girls, never had problems with masculinity or something. And the opposite is true as well. I might be in a very limited bubble as well, as my very close bubble of decade+ friend grou…

I think this is just being around people with good emotional literacy. This is the core skill, and one that we don't teach. In fact society promotes toxic, reactive and non-reflective emotional handling.

We need better emotional literacy and self regulation. Women tend to be better at this than men on average due to western culture.

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