Ask HN: How did you escape homelessness?

#1

Post by clubm8 » Sat, Oct 14, 2023, 5:51 PM UTC

I have multiple degrees, I don't use hard drugs.

I lost my job during COVID. My family pulled all support, leading me to be evicted due to nonpayment of rent.

Flash forward, the folks I got tenure, internships, and jobs have not connected me with work.

I lowered my standards and applied to things like dishwasher with no luck.

I feel harassed, and exhausted my savings on a Bellingcat certification and verifying my eligibility for Italian citienship.

Is that what I should do... emigrate back where I came from?

I'm currently in a hotel that lacks basic anemities like a functioning shower, paid monthly by family who demand I "get a job" but don't help in that matter... when the medical advice I was given was to cut ties.

This is complicated by things like being an activist but... I was a feminist. I was a hacker. I was kind to people. My heart is broken, and not in a romantic way -- they took advantage of me, always one offer at a time, forcing me back to have guns pointed at me and abuse hurled.

Anyways, how did you escape this? Are there specific nonprofits in states other than PA?

Did you speak to an embassy?

How do I avoid a situation where I get as upset as I am right now and do something extreme?

Everyone I met in this predicament, it was due to severe mental illness (like, schitzophrenia, etc) or a severe substance abuse issue.

I took years off from drinking, and am perfectly capable of having just one Guiness socially.

I struglle, some days, to contain my anxiety, because I'm literally homeless and I am that way because I wouldn't tolerate bad behaviors -- we removed some politicans, arrested others.

It feels like I'm nudged down a dark path, and I wanted to ask for help -- someone posted a link ages ago for jobs for people with depression...

They told me in grad school you're not depressed per se... you have C-PTSD... a series of events.

I'm capable of controlling it, but... it requires not being reliant on handouts, or I have to make bad decisions like "eat a big breakfast of meats I found in a charity fridge, let my blood sugar drop having too much caffeine so I can wait til dinnertime to eat again because I can't afford to buy food in the place that's nice enough to give me hot water if I sit in the corner"

Are folks willing to help? Or am I just a signal in the noise to be discarded when I'm no longer useful? I've never killed or raped anyone. I'm not a monster.

Why won't anyone help me?

Re: Ask HN: How did you escape homelessness?

#2

Post by lusus_naturae » Sat, Oct 14, 2023, 6:08 PM UTC

What keeps you from being employed as a store clerk or something like that? Is it citizenship issues?

Have you tried remote work sites, or something like upwork? Is there an unemployment office near you? It might even be your location, per my understanding jobs are more abundant in urban or close-to-urban areas, but require having a car or housing in that area. What if you secured a job first via an unemployment office (don't mention activism stuff, or political stuff), and then apply for something like housing for low-income folk? Just some suggestions.

I suggest doing odd jobs for the couple helping you, as it might at least help them understand you're not exploiting them. Good luck.

Edit: not sure if the tone of my message is coming out right, but its not meant to be judgmental or challenging you :)

Re: Ask HN: How did you escape homelessness?

#3

Post by mynameishere » Sat, Oct 14, 2023, 6:14 PM UTC

The advice is always the same for these situations: "Pull yourself together."

It sounds so mean, but nothing else will work.

Re: Ask HN: How did you escape homelessness?

#4

Post by georgeobama » Sat, Oct 14, 2023, 6:14 PM UTC

Living a non-conforming lifestyle is completely fine, from a position of power. But from a position of desperation (eg, homelessness, joblessness, etc) it is far more advisable to try to conform more to whatever local standards exist for you - in terms of style of hair, clothes, speech, etc - and completely drop anything controversial such as political activism.

Re: Ask HN: How did you escape homelessness?

#5

Post by beebmam » Sat, Oct 14, 2023, 6:16 PM UTC

Are you in the US? There are an unbelievable amount of food service job openings that pay extremely well for that work ($15+ hourly plus tips). I personally know a few business owners that are desperate to hire.

Re: Ask HN: How did you escape homelessness?

#6

Post by TotalCrackpot » Sat, Oct 14, 2023, 6:18 PM UTC

Maybe check living in a car like station vagon, suv or a van. There is a community around that lifestyle, they make money through food delivery in the car. There are subreddits on reddit on this lifestyle, maybe it can help you survive and find other options with time. Maybe you can check out anarchist squats, maybe they are where you are, maybe they can give you a place to sleep.

Re: Ask HN: How did you escape homelessness?

#7

Post by merth » Sat, Oct 14, 2023, 6:22 PM UTC

obviously It wont help from that moment you evicted but if you dont have emergency funds to cover your next 12 months, I would downsize on life style, even go vanlife to save up to secure short term feature atleast.

Re: Ask HN: How did you escape homelessness?

#8

Post by rl1987 » Sat, Oct 14, 2023, 6:24 PM UTC

What kind of cert do you have from Bellingcat? Maybe you can do some freelance OSINT work?

Re: Ask HN: How did you escape homelessness?

#9

Post by wnolens » Sat, Oct 14, 2023, 6:24 PM UTC

I don't know.

But I would prioritize any job whatsoever, regardless of location. If you're in a hotel paid by family, then you can swing a bus ticket/cheap flight. While there is higher cost of living in cities, there's way more jobs. You can live far out and commute via public transit.

Your family is saving your life right now. So folks ARE willing to help. Keep them informed as to your efforts so they don't get resentful.

Re: Ask HN: How did you escape homelessness?

#10

Post by wnolens » Sat, Oct 14, 2023, 6:25 PM UTC

mynameishere wrote: post #3

The advice is always the same for these situations: "Pull yourself together." It sounds so mean, but nothing else will work.

This advice is meaningless