61–70 of 76 posts
I feel like teenage me might have answered most of these, with varying levels of honesty, but is any kid answering "What’s the best way for someone to lose their virginity?"? Yeah, don't ask that one.
Yeah, as a teen that would be fucking weird, I'd only be able to respone with sarcasm.
What do you feel about what’s happening to our planet? Teenagers are thinking lots about climate change, and many of them, says Hannah, are quite terrified about what’s happening, so it can be really helpful to talk it through. “We need to take action – this is a very serious situation – but you don’t want your child to be fearful the whole time that we’re on the verge of extinction,” she says. Listen to their concer…
Hey, teenager, can you solve the problem where entrenched rich interests refuse to reform the world for our basic survial? Yeah, we can't, and in fact in the last 40 years, we've given the elite so much money and power that under our generational leadership we've made the problem(s) even worse.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
asking kids to set their own rules, and then help them stick to those rules is really a much better way than setting rules as a parent without letting the kids have any input. children do have the ability to think and understand what is reasonable. they know that they need to get enough sleep so they are not tired in the morning, etc. so working with them to work out what is reasonable can really empower them and in…
Surely. This is why they never drive cars without training, play video games instead of doing homework, and never drink to excess while underage.
and for video games, the kids do know the consequences of not doing their homework in school. so they are able to come up with rules that will allow them to complete their homework.
> When I was your age I was more lonely than anyone knew. Is anything going on in your life that no one knows about? I spend my entire working day, and many hours afterward in extracurricular activities, with teenagers. This is a remarkably bad question. None of the questions, to be honest, is very good, but this one in particular would earn you a straight-up blank stare. It’s good to ask kids direct, deep questions,…
These seem so incincere, I can't put my finger on why. Just be interested in what they're interested in, same as how to connect with anyone. Let them tell you about things. Thereby establish you are interested in them as a person and are a good listener. And perhaps critically, don't start out with a view to change them - that requires a great deal of trust willingly placed on their behalf which you haven't earned an…
Oh, so “just already be good at talking to your kids”. Appreciate the advice.
Seriously, this is for parents that want to do a better job. Your advice isn’t particularly useful as it isn’t specific enough for people that aren’t already connecting with their kids.
Perhaps propose more specific actionable advice. You can’t listen to someone that isn’t talking. What should they ask or share to break the ice?
These seem so incincere, I can't put my finger on why. Just be interested in what they're interested in, same as how to connect with anyone. Let them tell you about things. Thereby establish you are interested in them as a person and are a good listener. And perhaps critically, don't start out with a view to change them - that requires a great deal of trust willingly placed on their behalf which you haven't earned an…
There is nothing more insincere then me "being interested" in Harry Potter, Taylor Swift and superhero movies. As in, if insincerity is the worry, the common interest us the worst possible platform. Because, partly I am not interested in stuff teenagers are into now, which is normal for someone of my age. And partly because teenagers seeks to create own identity so me going into there would kinda destroyed it for the…
being interested in what other people enjoy is not insincere at all. it is in fact required if we want to build any sort of relationship with them.
you don't have to like it. and you don't have to watch all of it. but you can take an interest without being insincere.
These seem so incincere, I can't put my finger on why. Just be interested in what they're interested in, same as how to connect with anyone. Let them tell you about things. Thereby establish you are interested in them as a person and are a good listener. And perhaps critically, don't start out with a view to change them - that requires a great deal of trust willingly placed on their behalf which you haven't earned an…
> Just be interested in what they're interested in, same as how to connect with anyone. Let them tell you about things. Oh, so “just already be good at talking to your kids”. Appreciate the advice. Seriously, this is for parents that want to do a better job. Your advice isn’t particularly useful as it isn’t specific enough for people that aren’t already connecting with their kids. Perhaps propose more specific action…
there is a new movie out that i think you'll enjoy. shall we go watch it?
or, i saw a shop with your favorite style clothes, comics, whatever on sale on the way home. you may want to go check it out...
taking interest in other people means paying attention to things that you can do to help them further their interests.
you should to the same with your partner too, btw, so that when the kids are there you already have practice. and you can also do it with your friends. taking interest is a big factor in any relationship. taking interest means you care about them.
>What’s the best way for someone to lose their virginity? DO NOT ASK TEENAGERS THIS.
> When I was your age I was more lonely than anyone knew. Is anything going on in your life that no one knows about? I spend my entire working day, and many hours afterward in extracurricular activities, with teenagers. This is a remarkably bad question. None of the questions, to be honest, is very good, but this one in particular would earn you a straight-up blank stare. It’s good to ask kids direct, deep questions,…
A tangential question then - what do you think or suggest is a good way to reduce that fear on the part of the parent? It kind of sounds like a long term project, as in through most of their lives prior to these teenage years. It seems like a great point you've got and I'm wondering if there's much directly that can be done to improve the situation.
On the other hand, I do have kids who are gay who will not, under any circumstances, come out to their parent(s) because of the parent’s homophobia. And I see the damage it does to kids who have and who live with people who basically hate them. So that sort of thing is a tough nut to crack. Maybe it’s just because of my substantive views on sexual orientation, but it strikes me as doing it completely wrong if you hate your own kid because of it.
I guess it also matters that I deal with 9th graders, so they are just in that stage where they’re discovering themselves as people independent of their parents, and they’re afraid of being rejected or punished for things because they haven’t experienced dealing with Serious Life Issues in relation to their parent(s) yet.
> When I was your age I was more lonely than anyone knew. Is anything going on in your life that no one knows about? I spend my entire working day, and many hours afterward in extracurricular activities, with teenagers. This is a remarkably bad question. None of the questions, to be honest, is very good, but this one in particular would earn you a straight-up blank stare. It’s good to ask kids direct, deep questions,…
A tangential question then - what do you think or suggest is a good way to reduce that fear on the part of the parent? It kind of sounds like a long term project, as in through most of their lives prior to these teenage years. It seems like a great point you've got and I'm wondering if there's much directly that can be done to improve the situation.