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Career Advice (2013)

moxie.org

141–150 of 178 posts

Re: Career Advice (2013)

#141

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I find this to not be a helpful frame of thinking. A divorce is not a random natural disaster that befalls you. You have a lot of control about who you end up with, who you are inside and how you engage with your partner. So the fact that divorce happens "often" or "rarely" doesn't matter to an individual scenario - it's completely within those people's controls to make good or bad decisions.

I understand your point, agree to it somewhat, but I think is a bit unfair and simplistic. People have externalities thrown at them (loss, grieve, missed expectations, sickness, depression,…) Is a bit arrogant to think a person or a couple can navigate all these via their own choices. Reminds me of my hardcore catholic friends who think that divorcing equals to low commitment, willpower or maturity.

I appreciate what you are saying and I think we're mainly in agreement. You can't eliminate all risk and you can't guarantee success but you have a lot of ways to influence the outcome.

Using your example of depression. If you marry someone manic/depressive because you love how crazy and wild she is on her up days, her down days are going to hit you hard when you're living in the same house and sharing kids and responsibilities. So maybe that dynamic has a 50% divorce rate which could have been anticipated way in advance. On the other hand, there's always a chance that someone stable you marry will get into a deep funk years down the line and you won't be able to help her manage through that, but that maybe is a 2% probably. You can't control that 2% but you can manage to not be in the 50% and that's where your focus should be.

Re: Career Advice (2013)

#143
post #62

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That sounds fantastic! What are you up to now?

He's traveling around Australia! (Check bio, great YouTube channel)

Thanks! I actually finished up in Australia, I'm back in Canada saving and planning for the next one. I'm building another vehicle to tackle much colder climates, and parts of the world I've never been to before.

Re: Career Advice (2013)

#144
post #110
post #90

This is all extremely bad advice. To sum it up: work is a long endless grind that will alienate you, therefore therefore left-libertarian flavoured YOLO. Without downplaying the existing structures of social oppression, you may be lucky to live in a country and a time where you have rights. In that case, you need to decide for yourself what you want in life (economically). You need to decide how much money you want,…

That's exactly right. For example, I decided I prefer to live on $500-$1000 a month to having to work more years. So, I retired as soon as I could afford $1k till the rest of my life. It's not a life rich in material goods, but, in my experience, the stuff that brings me the most value is super cheap, and after that it's mostly diminishing returns.

Interesting, if you don't mind sharing a little, what do you do with your time?

Re: Career Advice (2013)

#145
post #87
post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Along those lines, one of the things that I still struggle with after 20+ years of working, is squaring this feeling of not working enough/earn enough money to have a comfortable retirement, while at the same time trying to live my life and not just work myself until death (very original, I know). So I've always had this conflict with the saying that goes something like "nobody regrets not working more, while in thei…

Read this in a management magazine: One third of retiring managers die quickly thereafter. The socond third finds a hobby and pursues it with the same ambition until everyone they know got gifted a perfect ship in a bottle and they need a new way to spend their time. One third keeps working. [Edit] add header

That’s just sad.

Re: Career Advice (2013)

#146
post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Along those lines, one of the things that I still struggle with after 20+ years of working, is squaring this feeling of not working enough/earn enough money to have a comfortable retirement, while at the same time trying to live my life and not just work myself until death (very original, I know). So I've always had this conflict with the saying that goes something like "nobody regrets not working more, while in thei…

I normally heard "nobody regrets not working more" in the context of work that has bad or no ROI. For example, lots of people work themselves to burnout by not taking all their vacations, returning to work very soon after their child is born out of fear of falling behind, working extra late or weekends from peer pressure from their boss/peers, etc. Most of which won't result in additional pay, promotion, and might no…

That definitely makes sense. However I do have heard it in the context of "hey, enjoy life more!".

Which I agree with but it's also a reality that you need to think about your future/retirement and it's a hard balance to make, especially if you live in a country with a poor healthcare system and lacking other social nets.

Re: Career Advice (2013)

#147

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Would be nice to be married now. While the idea and ideal are nice, it often does not work out that way in practice. Lots and lots of unhappy marriages and divorces.

I find this to not be a helpful frame of thinking. A divorce is not a random natural disaster that befalls you. You have a lot of control about who you end up with, who you are inside and how you engage with your partner. So the fact that divorce happens "often" or "rarely" doesn't matter to an individual scenario - it's completely within those people's controls to make good or bad decisions.

Divorce happens often and the rates are climbing. It makes sense to follow statistical guidelines.

"Who you marry" is not in your control. People change over the years. Marriage changes your spouse, and yourself. Some people realize what they actually want as they mature.

Most of the smartest, most thoughtful people in the world get divorced. They all thought they had control over marriage.

Re: Career Advice (2013)

#148
post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

True, but the larger point stands: your job has a huge influence on who you become. And the organization's mission and culture also will impact your identity. I have seen a lot of former colleagues make a lot of gross compromises for career advancement over the years. People who wanted to make a positive difference in the world who end up working for weapons manufacturers and the intelligence agency cutouts that crea…

Strong disagree. I am reminded of the quote: "If you don't have a plan of your own you'll become part of someone else's plan." Your job has as much of an influence on who you become as you let it have... the contention that you are your job really shows nothing more than a lack of ambition.

I don't think it's crazy that what you do for half your waking time has an effect in shaping you? It's like saying you're immune to advertising, you probably don't even notice all of the ways your work influences you.

Re: Career Advice (2013)

#149

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> What are you gonna do, make a new country? If technically you want to be the Prince of a constitutional monarchy, it might work ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Principality_of_Sealand )

Ngl I have always wondered how far one would get if they just started dredging sand onto an international waters seamount and made a completely new island, then declared it a micronation. In theory there should be a lot of market interest with gambling, server hosting and the like. Sealand still has the problem of actually being on built by and stands on Britain's territory. In all realness it would probably take abo…

"There was really nothing they could do"

Re: Career Advice (2013)

#150

Earlier quoted context omitted.

45? Wha... these are still our good years!

In a way after 45 the rush and ocd of younger, inexperienced years subsides you do see life at a slower pace, take more in and that can be a satisfying thing. For me personally the quality vs quantity thing that came more into focus in my 40s.

for me personally my 45 have been a full throttle. Lived in 4 countries in the last two years, learned tons of stuff and met super cool people. The "45 years old's salary" enabled that. In the last two months I've been learning surfing in my spare time. Total woah. Looking forward to the years to come, it's not true that quantity doesn't have quality :)
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