Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Merlin's Wisdom Project

github.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

11–20 of 68 posts

Re: Merlin's Wisdom Project

#11

Post by zoogeny »

aidenn0 wrote: post #3

> Frequently ask yourself: do I want to be right, or do I want to be happy? I always felt that people giving this advice assume the latter is preferable. Is there something defective about me if I prefer the former?

One thing that changed this for me (I agree the saying is a bit trite) was a comment by Joscha Bach in some podcast where he mentions realizing that he had a totally wrong conception of conversation when he was a kid. To paraphrase his idea, he had previously seen discussion as an opportunity to share facts and engage in a mutual exploration of the truth. But in reality, most conversation is negotiating social status.

So the context is the important thing. You probably want to be "right" not "happy" in some circumstances. But in the case of most social activities, attempting to get to "truth" is usually playing the wrong game. You may think you are having a discussion on, say, the causes of the collapse of the Roman Empire. And you may really believe there is a "right" answer and that you have it. But if you are at most parties and socializing with most people, no one is trying to get to the root cause of historical facts.

So it is really an optimization problem. You just have to ask yourself: in this moment, in this context, with these people - are we optimizing for "truth"? Or should I be optimizing for enjoyment/amusement/happiness? This is sometimes referred to as "being on the same wavelength". If you are optimizing for "truth" and everyone else is optimizing for "happiness", you might find yourself optimized out of the equation.

Re: Merlin's Wisdom Project

#12

Post by zoogeny »

In the past I've lambasted some of these collections of wisdom. There is a certain point in a man's life where he feels he wants to write down a collection of hard-learned thoughts and experiences. These often appear on HN. Most often they are pretentious.

For whatever reason, I liked this one. I can't say it is a better collection than others that I have pretty harshly criticized. I can't say it is better written. I can't say I agree with more or less in this list. I just liked this one.

Re: Merlin's Wisdom Project

#15

Post by zeroxfe »

aidenn0 wrote: post #3

> Frequently ask yourself: do I want to be right, or do I want to be happy? I always felt that people giving this advice assume the latter is preferable. Is there something defective about me if I prefer the former?

It's instant vs. delayed gratification. Being right is seductive, and immediately rewarding. You are perfectly normal.

Re: Merlin's Wisdom Project

#17

Post by thomasqbrady »

zdw wrote: post #2

I'm very surprised that this list doesn't include Mann's Assumption: https://www.kungfugrippe.com/post/29776928258/manns-assumpti...

I think in the Mann household that one probably doesn’t need to be written down. It’s been thoroughly reinforced.

Re: Merlin's Wisdom Project

#18

Post by samcat116 »

zoogeny wrote: post #12

In the past I've lambasted some of these collections of wisdom. There is a certain point in a man's life where he feels he wants to write down a collection of hard-learned thoughts and experiences. These often appear on HN. Most often they are pretentious. For whatever reason, I liked this one. I can't say it is a better collection than others that I have pretty harshly criticized. I can't say it is better written. I…

Merlin is probably one of the least pretentious people I’ve come across online.

Re: Merlin's Wisdom Project

#19

Post by dudinax »

zoogeny wrote: post #11
aidenn0 wrote: post #3

> Frequently ask yourself: do I want to be right, or do I want to be happy? I always felt that people giving this advice assume the latter is preferable. Is there something defective about me if I prefer the former?

One thing that changed this for me (I agree the saying is a bit trite) was a comment by Joscha Bach in some podcast where he mentions realizing that he had a totally wrong conception of conversation when he was a kid. To paraphrase his idea, he had previously seen discussion as an opportunity to share facts and engage in a mutual exploration of the truth. But in reality, most conversation is negotiating social status…

I work with scientists and most of my conversations are about facts. Young Joscha Bach would have liked it here.

Re: Merlin's Wisdom Project

#20

Post by noirbot »

john-radio wrote: post #16

Wait, what Flintstones am I supposed to have watched? The Hana-Barbera cartoon was so good that it deserves to be the go-to example for things that young people "somehow haven't heard of"?

I think any of it. I haven't seen a full episode myself and I'm not that young at this point.

In general, it's now just stuck in my mind as a stand in for any sort of thing. I think there's an XKCD for this sort of thing (and XKCD may be close to being something you have to be over some age to know about). In general, just consider that someone not knowing something is a joyful time to introduce them to something new, instead of scolding or being disappointed they don't understand it.

Post reply on HN