U.S. has world’s highest rate of children living in single-parent households (2019) • Hacker News Board

Re: U.S. has world’s highest rate of children living in single-parent households (2019)

#121

Post by ahhfgshando6698 » Tue, Sep 26, 2023, 6:50 AM UTC

rayiner wrote: post #44

nineplay wrote: post #17

The legality and acceptability of divorce isn't mentioned but I think it should be. Single parents will be rarer in countries where divorce isn't a viable option but that doesn't mean the children are raised in healthier environments.

The idea that divorce can be “healthier” for kids than unhappy parents is self-serving rationalization. Divorce is I’m extremely emotionally and financially disruptive to kids. As an asian married into a white family, the unhappy marriages on my side of the family seem way better for the kids than the unstable relationships on my wife’s side of the family. (But the parents are probably happier divorced/remarried. Tha…

[dead]

Re: U.S. has world’s highest rate of children living in single-parent households (2019)

#122

Post by gregjor » Wed, Sep 27, 2023, 2:47 AM UTC

rayiner wrote: post #117

gregjor wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

“Asian” and “western” describe huge and varied populations with little in common. One refers to a geographic designation, the other to a shared set of cultural norms and economic development. What evidence do you have that “Asian” parents (whomever that refers to) show more devotion to their children? Or that “western” couples show less care? Extended family situations, kids living with grandparents or aunts and uncl…

> What evidence do you have that “Asian” parents (whomever that refers to) show more devotion to their children? Or that “western” couples show less care? I come from South Asia. It’s my observation that Americans are far less willing to sacrifice their personal happiness and well being for their kids.

That’s not evidence.

You know what you don’t see in America? Children working in factories. Baby girls left at orphanages or sold. You do see parents going into debt to pay for school, sports and other activities, deferring retirement, buying phones and cars for their kids.

Generalizations that include vast numbers of people from different places and cultures don’t make any sense to begin with. Cambodia and Japan, both Asian, have very different outcomes for children. America likewise doesn’t describe a single culture or set of traditions. Some countries and cultures make divorce difficult or impossible, the USA does not.

Anecdotally, as an American parent, I have seen far more parents centering their lives around children and making sacrifices than I have seen selfish and neglectful parents — even after divorce. In rural Thailand you see many children raised by grandparents or other relatives because the parents dropped them off to do their own thing. And you see devoted parents caring for their children too.

I can’t generalize anything about Thai parents from those observations. I suspect that opinions about how much parents care for children, anecdotal and generalized, derive mainly from misinterpreting cultural differences.

Re: U.S. has world’s highest rate of children living in single-parent households (2019)

#123

Post by em-bee » Thu, Oct 05, 2023, 5:53 AM UTC

throwaway290 wrote: post #104

em-bee wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

only very few divorces are with an abusive parent. most divorces are a disagreement between the parents without involving the kids. in those cases, the parents solving their dispute without divorce would be better. but if they can't, and the children loose access to one parent, they will be worse of.

Many cases without a divorce and both parents present include a parent or both who are not very fit for parenting.

a few maybe, but many, i highly doubt. that would imply that humans in general are unable to figure out how be a parent by learning from their own parents which is generally the vector for learning this.

people unfit for parenting are most likely mentally ill or they are put in an impossible situation with unreasonable demands and no outside support.

Re: U.S. has world’s highest rate of children living in single-parent households (2019)

#124

Post by em-bee » Thu, Oct 05, 2023, 5:57 AM UTC

gregjor wrote: post #122

rayiner wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> What evidence do you have that “Asian” parents (whomever that refers to) show more devotion to their children? Or that “western” couples show less care? I come from South Asia. It’s my observation that Americans are far less willing to sacrifice their personal happiness and well being for their kids.

That’s not evidence. You know what you don’t see in America? Children working in factories. Baby girls left at orphanages or sold. You do see parents going into debt to pay for school, sports and other activities, deferring retirement, buying phones and cars for their kids. Generalizations that include vast numbers of people from different places and cultures don’t make any sense to begin with. Cambodia and Japan, bo…

Children working in factories. Baby girls left at orphanages or sold

most likely caused by extreme poverty.

children in factories happens in the US too: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35137873

also this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_selling#United_States

selling babies is a form of adoption that was common in the US too before adoption became acceptable. people in the US still give up children for adoption.

treatment of girls is a specific asian problem, driven by their culture and the dependency to have a son to care for them in old age, but it is changing.

In rural Thailand you see many children raised by grandparents

that is simply asian culture. it happens in china too. the motivation here is that the parents are not just off to do their own thing, but are off to work their ass off so their kids can have a future. that's not selfish or neglectful but in their eyes, the ultimate sacrifice.