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When I stopped trying to self-optimize, I got better

nytimes.com

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Re: When I stopped trying to self-optimize, I got better

#11

Post by ajkjk »

I have found that happiness seems to be inversely proportional to how much time I spend worrying that I'm acceptable or likeable to others. Got a notion early in life that being liked would involve being the way other people are and trying not to be the way I am and that messed everything up for fifteen years or so. It was the realization that 'as myself I will still be appealing to others' that finally dispelled a ton of anxiety, or at least, seems to be dispelling it.

Sounds trite but there you go.

Anyway, the whole time it felt like being driven to optimize.. the wrong stuff. I now believe that the healthiest way to be always seems easy and happens for free, without willpower. But it requires being able to hear your own intuitive preferences, instead of rationally computing what you think they are from from what others seem to think you should be.

Re: When I stopped trying to self-optimize, I got better

#12

Post by [deleted] »

blueyes wrote: post #10

The headline is misleading and kind of troll-y. Sure, self-optimizers can get in their own way, like everybody else, because there are lots of ways to try to improve, and not all of them work. This guy is basically saying he learned to focus and then he did the task in front of him better. That's also optimization, even self optimization. It's just not visualizing your future in a pink bubble/Tony Robbins stuff. The…

[deleted]

Re: When I stopped trying to self-optimize, I got better

#13

Post by phforms »

I think what the author describes has a lot to do with relaxation and letting intuition take over (which is how I believe this “flow” state is achieved), instead of thinking too hard or making too much conscious choices and putting the mind under pressure with expectations of success.

It is natural that this “strategy” would lead to more success in the end, which applies to any kind of challenging activity. I like the description as “subtracting”, since you kind-of have to empty your mind before doing the thing. But I believe this does not apply to practicing, where you do have to make conscious efforts and “add to” yourself a lot of stuff in order to internalize it and hopefully build up the intuition required for this flow state to work.

As some here pointed out, doesn’t have to do anything with self-optimization. Although self-optimization may lead someone to believe that a lot of conscious effort is the key to success, when it can actually set them up for failure.

Re: When I stopped trying to self-optimize, I got better

#15

Post by nicbou »

Same. I found that the essential floats to the surface if you stop muddling the water. A free schedule, tea on the balcony and a long bicycle ride is how I get my best work done. I let ideas simmer for a while, and tackle them with a relaxed mind.

Sometimes it's also good to just play and experiment. Without play we're just moody machines.

It's just really hard to do things just because they're nice in an hypercompetitive society where it sometimes feels like there just isn't enough to go around. Stepping off the treadmill is a rare privilege.

Re: When I stopped trying to self-optimize, I got better

#16

Post by jihiggins »

I think "self-optimize" is the wrong term to focus on. Imo, it's more about self-compassion / a more personal version of "psychological safety."

Anecdotally, a few years ago I made a decision to run with my (ADHD driven) impulses when deciding what to spend my time on. It was difficult to let go, but I decided to let myself just fall behind with projects / work for a year or two (or until I was fired.) Long term, the benefits have far outweighed any downsides. I actually accomplish things without burning out now, and the drastic reduction in burnout has meant that I get much more done in general (work, side projects, life, etc.) Ultimately, worrying about success, failure, self-control, etc, seem to be fairly self-defeating.

Re: When I stopped trying to self-optimize, I got better

#17

Post by jakeinspace »

jihiggins wrote: post #16

I think "self-optimize" is the wrong term to focus on. Imo, it's more about self-compassion / a more personal version of "psychological safety." Anecdotally, a few years ago I made a decision to run with my (ADHD driven) impulses when deciding what to spend my time on. It was difficult to let go, but I decided to let myself just fall behind with projects / work for a year or two (or until I was fired.) Long term, the…

If you don’t mind, I’d love to hear a bit more. I feel like I’ve been pushing hard against my ADHD tendencies as well, very curious what it means and looks like to give in and flourish.

Re: When I stopped trying to self-optimize, I got better

#18

Post by appleiigs »

jakeinspace wrote: post #17
jihiggins wrote: post #16

I think "self-optimize" is the wrong term to focus on. Imo, it's more about self-compassion / a more personal version of "psychological safety." Anecdotally, a few years ago I made a decision to run with my (ADHD driven) impulses when deciding what to spend my time on. It was difficult to let go, but I decided to let myself just fall behind with projects / work for a year or two (or until I was fired.) Long term, the…

If you don’t mind, I’d love to hear a bit more. I feel like I’ve been pushing hard against my ADHD tendencies as well, very curious what it means and looks like to give in and flourish.

Working from home really helped me. I use the Tomato/Pomodoro technique, but backwards. I let myself be distracted for 10 minutes first, then I work for 20 mins after. Distractions such as laundry, reading news come first, which relieves the feeling that I need to do something else, calms me down. Then I can do 1 work task for 20 mins. Then when I feel restless again I spend another 10 mins doing what my mind wants (eg. brush dog)… then back to 20 mins of work.

For me the point of the timer is to snap me out of the distraction or I’ll be on Hacker News for an hour.

Re: When I stopped trying to self-optimize, I got better

#19

Post by Synaesthesia »

One of the important points in this essay is letting go of the outcome, and focusing on th process. This is something which I’ve discovered has helped me lately. When you are focused on the outcome, whatever your goal is, you will be anxious because you’re not there yet. But when you focus on the process, which is the way to get there, you become more forgiving of mistakes, and adopt a more resilient attitude.

Re: When I stopped trying to self-optimize, I got better

#20

Post by pdmccormick »

Over the past year, I’ve made a deliberate effort to improve my “personal computing”, which for me is about how I use the shell. I start by trying to notice when I’m doing the same task multiple times and getting tripped up on the specific syntax or sequence of commands (i.e. what’s the Git command again to split certain files out of a previous commit into a separate one?) I will then create an alias, a shell script or maybe a larger program to start addressing it, solving my initial use case first, and gradually revisiting things over time to make improvements.

Through this process I’ve created a whole idiom of commands for myself. I have no pretense that they would be useful to anyone else, and I don’t sweat them beyond their ability to make my life easier. From these incremental efforts, I find I have access to a new kind of language in my mind. Especially with Git, I find myself seeing it as an extension of my mental process, integral to how I even think about solving problems, not just a VCS I use to push code around.

By noticing how I was working, I didn’t seek to optimize where I was at, I sought to graduate to levels where what previously needed optimization just doesn’t exist.

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