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The vital art of talking to strangers (2021)

economist.com

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Re: The vital art of talking to strangers (2021)

#41

Post by dmd »

noduerme wrote: post #24
exitb wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

On the other hand, I’ve seen not an insignificant number of cases where someone overstepped a boundary by forcing a conversation on someone who was clearly not into it. I think it’s ok to try, but given the context, cultural differences, legal requirement to stay in your assigned seat, it might be easy to get confused about consent.

Where is there a legal requirement to stay in your assigned seat? I've switched seats with people plenty of times on airplanes, or simply moved into empty rows. If you want to switch you can simply ask. (That is, if you're not afraid to talk to strangers!)

I fly 10-15 times a year and I have seen an empty seat on a flight maybe once.

Re: The vital art of talking to strangers (2021)

#42

Post by swayvil »

bradley13 wrote: post #16

Not so long ago, I was having my first cup of coffee in a hotel restaurant. A woman sat down directly across from me and started off with how nice it was to have someone to chat with. Um. No. I was polite, but...no. I had no interest in learning who she was, why she was there, or what she did for a living. I heard all of that anyway. Look, I haven't put on my social facade yet and I am not interested. You're next to…

[flagged]

Re: The vital art of talking to strangers (2021)

#43

Post by [deleted] »

monero-xmr wrote: post #26
hackermatic wrote: post #17

The cultural differences about this are vast even in the United States. In the part of the Midwest where I grew up, strangers would come up and offer compliments about your outfit or car, make friendly small talk in the grocery store checkout line, or at least offer a quiet "hi" and smile when passing on the sidewalk. In the Pacific Northwest, we try not to even look at each other when passing, although people are fr…

No one is friendly in urban areas because you are getting accosted / hustled so often. If a stranger tries to talk to me I have to give an ocular pat down and risk assessment before engaging beyond a skeptical glance.

[deleted]

Re: The vital art of talking to strangers (2021)

#44

Post by cortesoft »

financypants wrote: post #38
cortesoft wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I find a good book or movie makes the plane ride feel shorter. Talking to the person next to me so often ends up in an awkward situation when the conversation becomes tedious and boring, but it would be rude to just stop talking to them and move on to my book. If I dont start talking to the person, I don’t have that problem.

In the context of chatting with strangers rather than someone you know, I’ve never felt it awkward for the conversation to trail off and both parties move on to something else.

Sure, but in my experience the person I am talking to wants to keep the conversation going longer than I do, and they won't let the conversation trail off.

Re: The vital art of talking to strangers (2021)

#45

Post by coldtea »

lamp987 wrote: post #15
MrThoughtful wrote: post #7

I'm always surprised that so few people on planes talk to each other. It is amazing how a talk to the person next to you on a plane can turn a boring, multiple hour long flight into a nice experience that feels way shorter.

actually it used to be like that in earlier days of airliners. it was a social experience. but those days also had a darker side, like having a dress code for passengers...

Darker? Sounds like a much brighter side...

Re: The vital art of talking to strangers (2021)

#46

Post by RugnirViking »

I wish more people would talk to me on trains planes or wherever else. If ever something like that does happen it usually really brightens my day.

You might ask why I don't start such conversations. I simply do not think im capable. I wish I were, but ive spent a great deal of stress trying to get myself to talk freely at things like conferences, parties, etc. I just can't do it. This affliction I think is more and more common.

Re: The vital art of talking to strangers (2021)

#48

Post by coldtea »

swayvil wrote: post #42
bradley13 wrote: post #16

Not so long ago, I was having my first cup of coffee in a hotel restaurant. A woman sat down directly across from me and started off with how nice it was to have someone to chat with. Um. No. I was polite, but...no. I had no interest in learning who she was, why she was there, or what she did for a living. I heard all of that anyway. Look, I haven't put on my social facade yet and I am not interested. You're next to…

[flagged]

Obviously no, else they'd had no problem

Re: The vital art of talking to strangers (2021)

#49

Post by ang_cire »

zwayhowder wrote: post #37
wcedmisten wrote: post #3

Reading this from an airport boarding area coming back from a conference, and I couldn't agree more. I feel like my social skills of talking to strangers have atrophied during COVID, and now I'm trying my best to exercise those social muscles again. It really requires deliberate practice.

(Working in IT) I love laptop stickers for this. Whenever I'm returning from a conference a quick look around the lounge will reveal plenty of people with laptop stickers that are an easy to to startup a conversation. "Oh you're into $LANG/$TOOL, did you go to $CONF too?".

Laptop stickers are a perfect means to signal who you want to talk to, and who you don't, without saying anything.

Re: The vital art of talking to strangers (2021)

#50

Post by bassrattle »

There's an emerging star named Johnny Hamcheck whose whole schtick is talking to strangers in ways they don't expect. It's harmless unscripted humor. If you like Surveillance Camera Man, this might be for you. I'm linking his YouTube, even though he gets a tiny fraction of the views there compared to other platforms:

https://youtube.com/@johnnyhamcheck

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