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Suppressing negative thoughts may be good for mental health after all

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Re: Suppressing negative thoughts may be good for mental health after all

#31

Post by fellowniusmonk »

corethree wrote: post #17

This has been known among psychologist for awhile now. In fact someone who is too honest, someone who see's the truth of the world is more likely to be clinically depressed. https://radiolab.org/podcast/91618-lying-to-ourselves This podcast from radiolab really changed my perspective on the concept. Pretty much if you're not depressed, most likely some aspect of you is delusional. I would say people on HN are especia…

I am a high functioning depressive, or possibly not depressed at all, I think I am uniquely qualified to speak to the psychology of non-self deception while still being a "high performance" individual, especially compared to my co-hort of "defective children".

I was born with heart defects, so during my formative years I was on restricted activities and was constantly confronted with the futility of life, the imminence of death, my memories start at 3, in the days leading up to my first surgery.. for my second procedure at 5 I was scared of not waking back up, by 10 I would wake up from anesthesia disappointed I didn't die on the table, I was happiest in the oblivion and real life had so much struggle. I knew no peers and almost no adults who understood what it was like, much less people willing to talk about it in any serious way. Thought stopping platitudes were the best I could get from most adults, more scared of even talking about death than I was of the thing itself.

I pursued religion and even went to seminary, but all the God/Religious concepts we know about really are just disappointing, unhelpful, pastiche or frankly evil at core (Jainism being a strange exception in my mind, even though the common cultural expression of Jainism shares many of the same issues I have with Hinduism).

There was a time window in my past when I decided to generally "overshare" my internal thoughts and I stopped after a close friend ended up flippantly saying "well of course, you're obsessed with death.", that's not really the energy I want to put out there.

I think people fight very hard to ignore death, that's why existential moments find them in bed at night or when they are alone and quiet with their thoughts.

I've been waiting to die for as long as I can remember, my relationship with death is radically inverted so my existential thoughts are as well.

If you really soak in this futility, if this sense of "Everything is meaningless and transient" is inculcated in you early enough... unbidden existential thoughts transforms from... "Nothing matters", to "What if everything matters?", I don't know, I don't know enough about reality to "know for sure" that nothing matters. I'm just trying to discover as much stuff as I can and promote environments and attitudes that keep civilization stable enough for us to continue our species level rocket pace of discovery and inquiry.

If I was born anywhere else or any earlier I wouldn't exist.

I'm just curious to see what happens, what's ultimately true, if we ever figure it out, if we figure it out in my lifetime, if entities and causality are what we think they are now... and I'm going to kick around as long as I can to find out what happens. I think truly embracing intellectual humility is key to happiness and pursuit of life in a world that is -- as experienced -- unjust, random and capricious.

Re: Suppressing negative thoughts may be good for mental health after all

#32

Post by cf141q5325 »

When ever this notion comes up i cant help but wonder how good crashing and burning thanks to ignoring reality is for your mental health.

Just because stuff isnt nice doesnt mean its safe to ignore. Its worth mentioning that dealing with negative thoughts and experiences is part of how we grow as people. Its why Bambis mother got shot in a Disney movie. Because sooner or later, kids have to deal with harsh stuff. Unfortunately adults do too.

Their example, a parent with covid in a hospital, is a good one. This is serious stuff you need to come to terms with. If that seems overly harsh or depressing, i find Stanley Kubricks words about the indifference of the universe quite helpful. (Starting from "If life is so purposeless, do you feel it’s worth living?") https://www.themarginalian.org/2012/07/26/stanley-kubrick-pl...

In the end all we can do is decide how we want to deal with reality. Unless we want to later deal with the consequences of not having done so.

Re: Suppressing negative thoughts may be good for mental health after all

#34

Post by Aloha »

cf141q5325 wrote: post #32

When ever this notion comes up i cant help but wonder how good crashing and burning thanks to ignoring reality is for your mental health. Just because stuff isnt nice doesnt mean its safe to ignore. Its worth mentioning that dealing with negative thoughts and experiences is part of how we grow as people. Its why Bambis mother got shot in a Disney movie. Because sooner or later, kids have to deal with harsh stuff. Unf…

You don't need to dwell on it either - and that's the issue, most people dwell on it, because they're taught that all feelings are good and valid, and should be explored, my own experience says the opposite, not all feelings deserve exploration, and too much navel gazing is bad for ones mental health.

Re: Suppressing negative thoughts may be good for mental health after all

#35

Post by chrismorgan »

corethree wrote: post #17

This has been known among psychologist for awhile now. In fact someone who is too honest, someone who see's the truth of the world is more likely to be clinically depressed. https://radiolab.org/podcast/91618-lying-to-ourselves This podcast from radiolab really changed my perspective on the concept. Pretty much if you're not depressed, most likely some aspect of you is delusional. I would say people on HN are especia…

> Religion is easy to laugh off as irrational for HNers because religion isn't a big part of their lives.

You’re generalising. On the occasional threads directly dealing with religious topics, you will easily see that there are plenty here who are very religious. As for me, my religion is the most important thing in my life.

Re: Suppressing negative thoughts may be good for mental health after all

#36

Post by CamperBob2 »

yomly wrote: post #24
jimkleiber wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's a book called Why We Need Religion[0] and I believe the main premise is that religions have practices and beliefs that help us process emotions. [0]: https://bookshop.org/p/books/why-we-need-religion-stephen-t-...

I am personally atheist/apathetic. The closest thing you could get me to profess a religious fervour to is exercise (or martial arts) and mother nature. That said, I am a huge proponent of religion and can see how it is so important to people like my mother. She doesn't preach or judge but I can see how faith anchors her. It gives her answers and an unyielding optimism in the face of difficulty, and I can tell you as…

Don't get me wrong, there was a lot of bad with religion but modern faith in places like the UK or the Nordics seems to be a net benefit IMO...

Even in light of what the Christian Nationalist movement is striving towards in the US, and in light of the ugly persistence of fundamentalism in places like Iran, Saudi Arabia, and Afghanistan?

Re: Suppressing negative thoughts may be good for mental health after all

#37

Post by cf141q5325 »

Aloha wrote: post #34
cf141q5325 wrote: post #32

When ever this notion comes up i cant help but wonder how good crashing and burning thanks to ignoring reality is for your mental health. Just because stuff isnt nice doesnt mean its safe to ignore. Its worth mentioning that dealing with negative thoughts and experiences is part of how we grow as people. Its why Bambis mother got shot in a Disney movie. Because sooner or later, kids have to deal with harsh stuff. Unf…

You don't need to dwell on it either - and that's the issue, most people dwell on it, because they're taught that all feelings are good and valid, and should be explored, my own experience says the opposite, not all feelings deserve exploration, and too much navel gazing is bad for ones mental health.

I dont disagree. But there is a big difference between not getting attached and pulled around by your negative thoughts and just ignoring them.

The way out is agency over how you deal with reality, not better blindfolds in the short term.

Re: Suppressing negative thoughts may be good for mental health after all

#38

Post by kykeonaut »

Aloha wrote: post #34
cf141q5325 wrote: post #32

When ever this notion comes up i cant help but wonder how good crashing and burning thanks to ignoring reality is for your mental health. Just because stuff isnt nice doesnt mean its safe to ignore. Its worth mentioning that dealing with negative thoughts and experiences is part of how we grow as people. Its why Bambis mother got shot in a Disney movie. Because sooner or later, kids have to deal with harsh stuff. Unf…

You don't need to dwell on it either - and that's the issue, most people dwell on it, because they're taught that all feelings are good and valid, and should be explored, my own experience says the opposite, not all feelings deserve exploration, and too much navel gazing is bad for ones mental health.

However, not being able to explore such feelings ends up making you an unsympathetic person, as you cannot bare these feelings with others.

Another argument is that you are denying yourself of the experience of being human. These feelings exist for a reason, just as physical pain exists for a reason. You wouldn't hurt yourself on purpose (or maybe you do c;), but physical pain helps you stay safe. I feel this is the same purpose of negative feelings.

Finally, I have found out that suppressing these feelings does not allow you to fully process and heal from the events that trigger them.

Re: Suppressing negative thoughts may be good for mental health after all

#40

Post by jimkleiber »

yomly wrote: post #24
jimkleiber wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's a book called Why We Need Religion[0] and I believe the main premise is that religions have practices and beliefs that help us process emotions. [0]: https://bookshop.org/p/books/why-we-need-religion-stephen-t-...

I am personally atheist/apathetic. The closest thing you could get me to profess a religious fervour to is exercise (or martial arts) and mother nature. That said, I am a huge proponent of religion and can see how it is so important to people like my mother. She doesn't preach or judge but I can see how faith anchors her. It gives her answers and an unyielding optimism in the face of difficulty, and I can tell you as…

I really appreciate you answering in such detail and feel grateful that your mother has found such an anchor to keep her faith in humanity, herself, and beyond. What a blessing for her, for you, and for all of those her life touches. Thank you.
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