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Boys and Men in the United States Are Struggling. The Left Should Talk About It

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241–250 of 327 posts

Re: Boys and Men in the United States Are Struggling. The Left Should Talk About It

#241

Honestly, although I don't agree with everything the article says, it does have a very good point. Trump won in 2016 due to populism, on the belief that the American male was forgotten and left behind. As too, was rural America. The left could easily win election after election by coming out and saying "yeah, we've done a lot for women, for people of color, for sexual minorities, etc...but here's a bunch of things we…

[flagged]

Re: Boys and Men in the United States Are Struggling. The Left Should Talk About It

#242

Certainly some "interesting" voting and flagging going on here. With topics like this, which get a lot of comments that are flagged and hidden, I'd love to see a report on the page. Such a report could show whether multiple IPs/users are coordinating on hiding comments they find objectionable.

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Re: Boys and Men in the United States Are Struggling. The Left Should Talk About It

#243

Richard Reeves is originally from the left, and there is a podcast interview of him by Ezra Klein (titled "the boys are not alright"). In the interview he describes how he was drawn to feminism and looking at gender inequality, and by looking at the data became convinced that boys and men were a neglected cause. He was then frustrated as other researchers and policy people had no interest in that form of inequality.…

Can we have an example of toxic masculinity? I've never once received a real definition in a debate like this and when I'm close to it, the other side tries to make it sound like they are sympathetic to toxic masculinity. For example, I've had it told to me that I shouldnt have my son help me with changing my car's oil because thats putting some sort of burden on him at an early age. Does this sound like something a…

“Why are you crying?!? Real men don’t cry!”

Re: Boys and Men in the United States Are Struggling. The Left Should Talk About It

#244

Richard Reeves is originally from the left, and there is a podcast interview of him by Ezra Klein (titled "the boys are not alright"). In the interview he describes how he was drawn to feminism and looking at gender inequality, and by looking at the data became convinced that boys and men were a neglected cause. He was then frustrated as other researchers and policy people had no interest in that form of inequality.…

Can we have an example of toxic masculinity? I've never once received a real definition in a debate like this and when I'm close to it, the other side tries to make it sound like they are sympathetic to toxic masculinity. For example, I've had it told to me that I shouldnt have my son help me with changing my car's oil because thats putting some sort of burden on him at an early age. Does this sound like something a…

Also, that is not something a sane person would say, no. Having children help with chores is a key part of parenting, regardless of gender.

Re: Boys and Men in the United States Are Struggling. The Left Should Talk About It

#245
post #222

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Male parents too ?

i have seen families where the male parents absolutely didn't want to have anything to do with childcare. so i don't believe that it is a far stretch that some people come to the conclusion that this is normal and they shouldn't do childcare, and any man who is caring about children would be suspicious.

It’s because of the fear of sexual abuse and the belief that no penis / no rape

Re: Boys and Men in the United States Are Struggling. The Left Should Talk About It

#246

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Male parents too ?

I'm guessing that by far the majority of children in a typical year are from "traditional" families, which kinda makes this question irrelevant unless I'm misunderstanding.

The article is about how men need help. Gp stated men can’t even get jobs teaching children. But men also participate in the decision to keep men out of schools

Gender seems to cancel out here

Re: Boys and Men in the United States Are Struggling. The Left Should Talk About It

#247

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can we have an example of toxic masculinity? I've never once received a real definition in a debate like this and when I'm close to it, the other side tries to make it sound like they are sympathetic to toxic masculinity. For example, I've had it told to me that I shouldnt have my son help me with changing my car's oil because thats putting some sort of burden on him at an early age. Does this sound like something a…

“Why are you crying?!? Real men don’t cry!”

Exactly this. But even worse, this is frequently not said aloud. It is implicit in all of our interactions. Express too much emotion outside of certain narrow contexts, and other people (men and women alike) will look at you like you are a wimp. Nobody has to say a word.

Re: Boys and Men in the United States Are Struggling. The Left Should Talk About It

#248

“Only women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally” ~ Chris Rock Lots of yakking it up about how sad men are but it's all so disingenuous. My experience leads to me to believe that the moment a man asks for help is the moment he has lost the respect of his peers and, should he be so lucky, his female partner. Evolutionarily, men are disposable, and the workplaces and dating arenas we must inhabit reinforce it…

> they care far more about what you could provide than how you feel.

This is real, it does happen. But for the sake of anyone reading this, please be aware. There are plenty of women who are not like this. Finding them can feel overwhelming, but when you land the right one, it makes life so much better.

I'm kidding, but only slightly, when I say this: I think the best advice for young men is to skip the dating scene altogether until you're about 30. Things settle down, everyone more mature and less mercenary, and women will look at you more for your good manly qualities rather than the shallow ones.

Re: Boys and Men in the United States Are Struggling. The Left Should Talk About It

#249
post #208

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> empathy is not a zero sum game. But we are biased to empathize more with women than men, both women and men are biased that way. That is the core of "toxic masculinity", we need everyone to empathize more with men, but instead due to low empathy for men all they say is "just work on your own problems, it isn't that bad for you!!". There isn't much you can do in that situation, the low empathy burden men are shoulde…

It is a tough cognitive dissonance for most people to hold in their minds: men behaving toxically require more emotional support, not less.

Indeed! When I see ultra-wealthy-but-emotionally-isolated people (the trio pointed out by Jaron Lanier comes to mind [1]), all I feel is pity at their condition.

What they need is to be emotionally "nursed" back to wellness, but their sheer wealth has isolated them so much that nobody can connect with them on a "normal" human level anymore.

[1] https://www.nytimes.com/2022/11/11/opinion/trump-musk-kanye-...

Re: Boys and Men in the United States Are Struggling. The Left Should Talk About It

#250
post #79

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>My experience leads to me to believe that the moment a man asks for help is the moment he has lost the respect of his peers and, should he be so lucky, his female partner. Honestly, it sounds like you need some new friends and to stop listening to Jordan Peterson. When I was going through a divorce, my closest friends were there day or night to take a call and let me vent. Heck my current wife actually was a soundin…

>Honestly, it sounds like you need some new friends and to stop listening to Jordan Peterson. And what about those who experience this effect, and have always actively avoided Peterson and his ilk? When you find out rumours are spreading about you after you've opened up, you can separate yourself from that community, but where does that leave a person? What do you think happens when someone tries to join a new commun…

It's much easier said than done, but get the hell away. So far away that your past relationships cannot in any way taint your future ones. Move to a new job, new city preferably. Rebuild your friend network.

I've been lucky for the most part with good friends, but periodically rebooting your life situation has other benefits too. I recommend it heartily, if you're in a position to do so. Keep your old friends if they're good, in that case.

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