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A basic guide to using Asian names

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Re: A basic guide to using Asian names

#161

Post by triceratops »

OfSanguineFire wrote: post #108
cat_plus_plus wrote: post #66

For whatever reason, my first name is almost universally mispronounced in America. So early on, I made a decision to let it go and in fact introduce myself by how most English speakers said it. No regrets whatsoever, any time spent sorting phonetics out is time wasted not getting to substance of the matter we want to discuss. I also suspect that if I made a stink about it, many people would avoid me because I have a…

> your pronoun if you didn't make it obvious by your attire This is still a minefield, especially among teenagers and very young adults who latch on to any opportunity to assert their individuality. I have met more than one man who wears female clothing and cosmetics and adopts female mannerisms, yet still insists that he is non-binary or a “non-binary male” and so his pronouns will be “he” or “they”, and you might g…

You know they prefer non-binary pronouns and still referred to them with "he" and "his". Maybe you're a non-native English speaker, and struggle with gender and grammar. Or maybe they have a point.

EDIT: I was wrong. See below.

Re: A basic guide to using Asian names

#162

Post by paulddraper »

dehrmann wrote: post #111
Cthulhu_ wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's a "pick your battles" kinda thing, you're not gonna get someone at Starbucks write your name down properly if it isn't something they can easily hear over the murmur of a crowd. That said, if I were in that situation I would double down on it in anything formal - documents, graduation ceremonies, weddings, lawsuits, etc.

I have a coworker named Domas. It's pronounceable enough, but he uses Thomas (which is actually just a variation of the same name in some cultures) as his Starbucks name for...reasons.

That's pretty funny.

Re: A basic guide to using Asian names

#163

Post by paulddraper »

earthboundkid wrote: post #69
cat_plus_plus wrote: post #66

For whatever reason, my first name is almost universally mispronounced in America. So early on, I made a decision to let it go and in fact introduce myself by how most English speakers said it. No regrets whatsoever, any time spent sorting phonetics out is time wasted not getting to substance of the matter we want to discuss. I also suspect that if I made a stink about it, many people would avoid me because I have a…

It’s a little bit of a complicated issue. On the one hand, my great-grandfather gave up using a patronym to be an American. That’s a totally normal thing, and it’s weird to complain about it. In Japan, they were often confused about which of my names was personal and which was for my family, and they never quite figured out the deal with my middle name / initial. Cultures are different, and you can’t expect everyone…

> Hindi is spelled phonetically in English

Bold of you to say it's possible to "spell phonetically in English"

Re: A basic guide to using Asian names

#164

Post by OfSanguineFire »

triceratops wrote: post #161
OfSanguineFire wrote: post #108

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> your pronoun if you didn't make it obvious by your attire This is still a minefield, especially among teenagers and very young adults who latch on to any opportunity to assert their individuality. I have met more than one man who wears female clothing and cosmetics and adopts female mannerisms, yet still insists that he is non-binary or a “non-binary male” and so his pronouns will be “he” or “they”, and you might g…

You know they prefer non-binary pronouns and still referred to them with "he" and "his". Maybe you're a non-native English speaker, and struggle with gender and grammar. Or maybe they have a point. EDIT: I was wrong. See below.

You’re rudely assuming an awful lot: 1) that it was me who referred to the person with an unwanted pronoun, as opposed to simply witnessing the person get upset by a third party doing so, and 2) that someone who insists on the identity of a non-binary male necessarily does not want to be referred to with the pronoun “he”. Pronoun preferences are just as diverse or contrary to others’ expectations as the labels that people apply to themselves.

Re: A basic guide to using Asian names

#165

Post by paulddraper »

triceratops wrote: post #161
OfSanguineFire wrote: post #108

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> your pronoun if you didn't make it obvious by your attire This is still a minefield, especially among teenagers and very young adults who latch on to any opportunity to assert their individuality. I have met more than one man who wears female clothing and cosmetics and adopts female mannerisms, yet still insists that he is non-binary or a “non-binary male” and so his pronouns will be “he” or “they”, and you might g…

You know they prefer non-binary pronouns and still referred to them with "he" and "his". Maybe you're a non-native English speaker, and struggle with gender and grammar. Or maybe they have a point. EDIT: I was wrong. See below.

I'm a native speaker and I struggle.

Maybe I'm slow, but "themselves" referring to a single person is weird af.

Re: A basic guide to using Asian names

#166

Post by paulddraper »

OfSanguineFire wrote: post #164
triceratops wrote: post #161

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You know they prefer non-binary pronouns and still referred to them with "he" and "his". Maybe you're a non-native English speaker, and struggle with gender and grammar. Or maybe they have a point. EDIT: I was wrong. See below.

You’re rudely assuming an awful lot: 1) that it was me who referred to the person with an unwanted pronoun, as opposed to simply witnessing the person get upset by a third party doing so, and 2) that someone who insists on the identity of a non-binary male necessarily does not want to be referred to with the pronoun “he”. Pronoun preferences are just as diverse or contrary to others’ expectations as the labels that p…

Was referring to your comment

> still insists that he is non-binary...so his pronouns will be...

Re: A basic guide to using Asian names

#167

Post by triceratops »

OfSanguineFire wrote: post #164
triceratops wrote: post #161

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You know they prefer non-binary pronouns and still referred to them with "he" and "his". Maybe you're a non-native English speaker, and struggle with gender and grammar. Or maybe they have a point. EDIT: I was wrong. See below.

You’re rudely assuming an awful lot: 1) that it was me who referred to the person with an unwanted pronoun, as opposed to simply witnessing the person get upset by a third party doing so, and 2) that someone who insists on the identity of a non-binary male necessarily does not want to be referred to with the pronoun “he”. Pronoun preferences are just as diverse or contrary to others’ expectations as the labels that p…

> that it was me who referred to the person with an unwanted pronoun

You did. In your comment.

EDIT: I'm sorry, you said their pronouns are "he or they". I misread your original post.

Re: A basic guide to using Asian names

#168

Post by cryptonector »

I find that knowing how to pronounce someone's name the moment you see it written gets one a modicum of brownie points. It's worth knowing how to do it.

At an interview one of the people interviewing me went by just the first letter of their very long name but I asked what the full name was, so he showed me his driver's license then I pronounced it correctly on the first attempt. I got the job offer. I can't tell you that it helped or made no difference, since I didn't take the job and never got to ask. But maybe it helped, and it certainly can't have hurt (unless my interviewer felt I was showing off or something, which seems very doubtful).

If you're not sure how to pronounce someone's name, then ask, though I personally would give people brownie points for trying anyways.

Re: A basic guide to using Asian names

#169

Post by glandium »

Fradow wrote: post #67
glandium wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Fun fact: the Japanese government insists that foreigners use the name they have in their passport in official documents. That includes the middle name. My middle name has thus crept in all over the place. I've barely ever used it in my home country, but now have to use it everywhere (I live in Japan). Anyways, more relevant to OP, as a result, sometimes I'm called by my middle name, as if it were my last name (becau…

That's funny, that would make it funny or awkward for me. While I don't have a middle name, I have 3 first names (as is customary in France: my first name, my godfather first name and my godmother first name). That means I have 2 male first name and a female one. While some people use their second first name (it's rare but not unheard of), I don't know anyone who uses their third first name. In all but very official…

I'm French too. I said middle name because it was simpler. My mother has 7 (!) of them. I don't know how that would pan out for her. I don't know if they all appear on her passport, though.

Re: A basic guide to using Asian names

#170

Post by [deleted] »

triceratops wrote: post #167
OfSanguineFire wrote: post #164

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You’re rudely assuming an awful lot: 1) that it was me who referred to the person with an unwanted pronoun, as opposed to simply witnessing the person get upset by a third party doing so, and 2) that someone who insists on the identity of a non-binary male necessarily does not want to be referred to with the pronoun “he”. Pronoun preferences are just as diverse or contrary to others’ expectations as the labels that p…

> that it was me who referred to the person with an unwanted pronoun You did. In your comment. EDIT: I'm sorry, you said their pronouns are "he or they". I misread your original post.

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