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‘Friends’ and ‘Seinfeld’ knew the cure for loneliness

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Re: ‘Friends’ and ‘Seinfeld’ knew the cure for loneliness

#61

Post by datavirtue »

Supply5411 wrote: post #50
mrguyorama wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>It also includes pools, benches, art, fountains, playgrounds, and food stands — things people gather at. Can't have those, the homeless might use them to avoid suffering for a few minutes and be visible, and that makes people angry.

>avoid suffering for a few minutes Not sure where you live, but where I've lived, they form camps, do drugs in the open, scream at people, and vandalize their surroundings. They make a good environment hostile to everyone. That's what most people are angry about.

In Ohio we have professional hobos. People that hang out with signs, know all the laws, dress a certain way, make themselves up all dirty, and beg for money. They do quite well with the fools here. You can see them change out for shifts. Whole families cycle through the shifts or work in a group with their children on display.

Re: ‘Friends’ and ‘Seinfeld’ knew the cure for loneliness

#62

Post by afavour »

ryanklee wrote: post #49
afavour wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Well you talked about having ice cream and going to parks That's two of the things I mentioned, yes. I also mentioned museums and other amenities which are also "third places", as discussed in the article.

It still sounds like the things you claim are unique to NYC aren't. Maybe your strong preference rests on something else you aren't identifying. In my experience NYC has nothing in it that you can't find in dozens of other US cities for far cheaper. Edited to remove worthless snark.

> In my experience NYC has nothing in it that you can't find in dozens of other US cities for far cheaper.

Then you haven’t truly experienced NYC, I’m sorry. It’s simply not a true statement.

I’m not saying NYC is for everyone or that you even have to like it, but it having nothing you can’t find in dozens of other cities? To paraphrase Principal Skinner: “can it be that I simply don’t know NYC as well as I should? No, it is all of the seven million inhabitants who are wrong”

Re: ‘Friends’ and ‘Seinfeld’ knew the cure for loneliness

#63

Post by brnaftr361 »

Supply5411 wrote: post #50
mrguyorama wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>It also includes pools, benches, art, fountains, playgrounds, and food stands — things people gather at. Can't have those, the homeless might use them to avoid suffering for a few minutes and be visible, and that makes people angry.

>avoid suffering for a few minutes Not sure where you live, but where I've lived, they form camps, do drugs in the open, scream at people, and vandalize their surroundings. They make a good environment hostile to everyone. That's what most people are angry about.

That's only half of the story. A lot of those people are mentally ill. There are also a lot of "hidden" homeless people who live diverse lives. I knew some travelling kids that rode freight around the country, they were typically sheltered by friends. They did odd jobs and could busk, and yes they did drugs, but they weren't shitting in the street and boofing heroin in plain sight. There's people that are down on their luck, and there's people who just gave up the rat race - and there's a good chance they aren't slamming meth, but they can turn into drunks fast.

Re: ‘Friends’ and ‘Seinfeld’ knew the cure for loneliness

#65

Post by refurb »

hypeit wrote: post #4

> We can see this shift everywhere. The characters of the biggest shows of the '90s — "Friends," "Seinfeld," "Cheers" — spent the overwhelming majority of their time hanging out at the café, diner, and bar, and work was either an afterthought or a running joke. These were television shows, not reality. Even in the 80s and 90s you couldn't spend all of your time in a Manhattan coffee shop or a bar (unless you were a d…

These were television shows, not reality.

This article is wild. It's conflating television with real life.

How did we get to this point?

Re: ‘Friends’ and ‘Seinfeld’ knew the cure for loneliness

#66

Post by refurb »

rashkov wrote: post #34
hypeit wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well you talked about having ice cream and going to parks, so I'd say yes pretty much everywhere in the US has that. Other places are also much more walkable than Brooklyn, tons of smaller cities have started focusing on revitalizing their downtowns and providing walkable communities.

The hard part is not finding an ice cream shop, it’s bumping into people you know, or being able to walk over to their home easily

People do this all the time across America. I did this in Michigan, California (not the coastal cities), small town New England, Colorado, Texas, etc.

Re: ‘Friends’ and ‘Seinfeld’ knew the cure for loneliness

#67

Post by dagurp »

footlose_3815 wrote: post #64

It's depressing when all the third spaces are bars full of miserable people

My third place is disc golf leagues/tournaments. The great thing about the sport is that it's easy to pick up and tournaments are usually set up in such a way that you can choose a group that suits your ability. The social aspect is great and you get to spend time outdoors surrounded by trees.

Re: ‘Friends’ and ‘Seinfeld’ knew the cure for loneliness

#68

Post by borg16 »

jurassicfoxy wrote: post #29
hypeit wrote: post #4

> We can see this shift everywhere. The characters of the biggest shows of the '90s — "Friends," "Seinfeld," "Cheers" — spent the overwhelming majority of their time hanging out at the café, diner, and bar, and work was either an afterthought or a running joke. These were television shows, not reality. Even in the 80s and 90s you couldn't spend all of your time in a Manhattan coffee shop or a bar (unless you were a d…

I don't know about Manhattan, but I can tell you in my small hometown, you can walk down to the pub any night and you'll meet up with some friends randomly, no planning required. It's actually amazing. Of course this is much more difficult in large cities, but it's something to work towards, and is clearly possible.

imo, options to spend one's time being limited (in a good way) leads to these coincidences more often than in towns/cities with unlimited (sort of) options.

Re: ‘Friends’ and ‘Seinfeld’ knew the cure for loneliness

#69

Post by borg16 »

fatnoah wrote: post #40
AlchemistCamp wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This seems nuts to me. I grew up in Colorado and have also lived in several other states where people are more comfortable and likely to bump into each other in public spaces than NYC. In NYC, people are nearly all strangers and in a big hurry. Even living in Mountain View was better. In terms of serendipity, I'd put a college town far ahead of a large city.

> In terms of serendipity, I'd put a college town far ahead of a large city My family moved from a suburb to downtown Boston just before our child entered kindergarten. We ran into people we knew literally every day. It became a running joke because we made it almost 80 straight days in the summer of randomly running into someone. The best moment came while attending a work event with a visiting coworker. I mentioned…

> It sounds weird, but running into friends and acquaintances is one of the things I miss the most about living in the city.

you do not sound weird. what you are suggesting is the best part of being part of a "community"

Re: ‘Friends’ and ‘Seinfeld’ knew the cure for loneliness

#70

Post by hgsgm »

houseatrielah wrote: post #2

Happy to see I'm not alone and someone else is complaining about our sad parks, "What we call parks look like parking lots with some grass on them, perhaps a baseball diamond. That's not the kind of park that draws people in," Tayana Panova, a researcher who studies the built environment's effects on mental health, told me. "We need parks that have amenities and assets that make it desirable for people to go there."…

Sounds like regular parks in my city.
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