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‘Friends’ and ‘Seinfeld’ knew the cure for loneliness

businessinsider.com

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Re: ‘Friends’ and ‘Seinfeld’ knew the cure for loneliness

#11

Post by AlchemistCamp »

afavour wrote: post #3

This is one of the reasons that, despite the immense cost, we're trying to stay in NYC as long as we can. Two small children in an apartment definitely has its tough moments. But we live by a giant park packed with playgrounds, when we go we frequently bump into friends from school, meet friends of friends, etc. Everyone can go get an ice cream, head home happy. We have dozens of museums an easy subway ride away. etc…

This seems nuts to me. I grew up in Colorado and have also lived in several other states where people are more comfortable and likely to bump into each other in public spaces than NYC. In NYC, people are nearly all strangers and in a big hurry. Even living in Mountain View was better.

In terms of serendipity, I'd put a college town far ahead of a large city.

Re: ‘Friends’ and ‘Seinfeld’ knew the cure for loneliness

#12

Post by gumby »

Cities in Europe, Japan, and Korea still have vibrant and central "third place" cultures, perhaps because the apartments tend to be smaller. Loneliness in Europe IMHO seems more to occur outside cities where density is lower, though even there people our "out and about" more than I see in the US suburbs.

Re: ‘Friends’ and ‘Seinfeld’ knew the cure for loneliness

#13

Post by afavour »

AlchemistCamp wrote: post #11
afavour wrote: post #3

This is one of the reasons that, despite the immense cost, we're trying to stay in NYC as long as we can. Two small children in an apartment definitely has its tough moments. But we live by a giant park packed with playgrounds, when we go we frequently bump into friends from school, meet friends of friends, etc. Everyone can go get an ice cream, head home happy. We have dozens of museums an easy subway ride away. etc…

This seems nuts to me. I grew up in Colorado and have also lived in several other states where people are more comfortable and likely to bump into each other in public spaces than NYC. In NYC, people are nearly all strangers and in a big hurry. Even living in Mountain View was better. In terms of serendipity, I'd put a college town far ahead of a large city.

> In NYC, people are nearly all strangers and in a big hurry

Maybe you've only been in midtown Manhattan? I live in a Brooklyn neighborhood where we bump into people we know constantly and no-one is rushing around madly.

Re: ‘Friends’ and ‘Seinfeld’ knew the cure for loneliness

#15

Post by xrd »

Wouldn't it be ironic if the current worry in the US about public spaces (i.e. homeless and/or drug addicts) were two sides of the same coin: the goal is to isolate yourself in a massive home in the suburbs to protect yourself from the homeless and drug addicts. And, if you fail at that goal, you then have no choice but to become what everyone fears.

Re: ‘Friends’ and ‘Seinfeld’ knew the cure for loneliness

#16

Post by mrguyorama »

houseatrielah wrote: post #2

Happy to see I'm not alone and someone else is complaining about our sad parks, "What we call parks look like parking lots with some grass on them, perhaps a baseball diamond. That's not the kind of park that draws people in," Tayana Panova, a researcher who studies the built environment's effects on mental health, told me. "We need parks that have amenities and assets that make it desirable for people to go there."…

>It also includes pools, benches, art, fountains, playgrounds, and food stands — things people gather at.

Can't have those, the homeless might use them to avoid suffering for a few minutes and be visible, and that makes people angry.

Re: ‘Friends’ and ‘Seinfeld’ knew the cure for loneliness

#17

Post by hypeit »

afavour wrote: post #7
icepat wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why is this a New York specific phenomenon? Living in a large town/small city in Europe, I find the same effect plays out here. A very few number of times my social activities have been actively planned. Most occur after bumping into someone at a local venue, concert, or other event.

I am talking from a US perspective. There are few cities in the US that offer this, though NYC is by no means the only one.

You should really get out of NYC sometime. Pretty much every city and even mid-sized town in the US has what you're describing. A lot of it is far easier to navigate than Brooklyn as well.

Re: ‘Friends’ and ‘Seinfeld’ knew the cure for loneliness

#18

Post by cguess »

AlchemistCamp wrote: post #11
afavour wrote: post #3

This is one of the reasons that, despite the immense cost, we're trying to stay in NYC as long as we can. Two small children in an apartment definitely has its tough moments. But we live by a giant park packed with playgrounds, when we go we frequently bump into friends from school, meet friends of friends, etc. Everyone can go get an ice cream, head home happy. We have dozens of museums an easy subway ride away. etc…

This seems nuts to me. I grew up in Colorado and have also lived in several other states where people are more comfortable and likely to bump into each other in public spaces than NYC. In NYC, people are nearly all strangers and in a big hurry. Even living in Mountain View was better. In terms of serendipity, I'd put a college town far ahead of a large city.

People do live in neighborhoods, even in major cities. Their kids tend to go to schools in the area, so the families will be near by. It's not surprising at all to run into people even way outside your neighborhood in NYC>
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