We Can Do Better: An Apology from Sqoot

However there is a HUGE difference between what I say in person and what I put in a a public invitation.

In isolation its "just a harmless JOKE" but it is not in isolation in the tech scene. There is a long list of this behavior that makes this industry uninviting (and in some rarer cases just damn hostile) to women.

I think in Startup culture we appreciate that its all in the nuance and little details when it comes to success.

Small things like this add up. I'd argue that it is in dealing with matter incidents like this that we make a larger change in the long run.

As for "Everyone needs to relax"... I have two daughters. When I don't have to read about people like Sqoot then I'll relax.

>But then there are other things, like the stuff Sqoot said on their event page. Psh, just a harmless JOKE. Pick your battles people.

I have a lot of problems with your rant, but I wanted to respond to these in particular.

When I saw their flyer, it didn't read as a joke. It read as “One good reason to attend this event is that there will be women there who we're paying to serve you beer.” I guess I might have missed something, but this sounds like it was something they planned to do. So, not a joke.

What does this tell me? The target audience for this event is men. Of course others can come, but really it caters to men.

Why is that a problem? Because the development community has historically been dominated by men, and has various cultural elements that are not very welcoming toward women. So then to put on a prominent hackathon, and explicitly say “Hey, and really this for the men out there” is a problem for me.

> The problem is, you can't understand someone over the internet.

This is true, and that's why one should go out of their way to be welcoming to all-comers when promoting an event like this. There are things you can say to your friends that are not appropriate to say in a professional or more-public setting, because people have no way of knowing whether you're joking or just an asshole.

> Do I believe a woman should be able to do whatever the fuck she wants in this world, be it fighting fires or curing AIDS? Yes.

One of the things that would prevent your sister from doing that is misogynistic cultures in the [fire/AIDS/bug]-fighting community. Who wants to pursue a career in an environment where they're not welcome, or treated as second-class citizens? This is the reason people are reacting so strongly to this.

> For the most part men and women are aware of their stereotypical flaws. Search for "Shit girls say" on youtube and admire the view count. I don't know a single girl who didn't completely piss her pants watching that.

The thing is, not all men and women have the same flaws. Stereotypes tell us they do, but that isn't true. And there are plenty of people [1] who thought shit girls say was sexist (including me.) The reason I think it's sexist is because it portrays basically one way for women to be, and perpetuates the idea (while not outright saying it) that all women are like that.

[1]: https://www.google.com/search?q=%22shit+girls+say%22+sexist

Sex sells. While there are good reasons for restrictions in many situations, the successful strategy will be to walk up to the line of what's acceptable, whether that is booth babes or simply having attractive people (particularly women) in PR and advertising materials. This isn't an ideal situation, but unfortunately we don't live in an ideal world.

I can respect people who wish we were built to value competence or altruism like this instead of sex. It's very hard to make progress without addressing reality, though. One of the more unfortunate things about political fads is that they make it difficult for people to even discuss issues. It's far easier to write-off, downmod or brand dissenting opinions as immoral, heretical, communist, sexist, divisive, etc... than it is to really probe them.

As a female coder, I'd rather not be offered as a perk to male coders. So, yeah, this is belittling.