Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

jvns.ca

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

101–110 of 371 posts

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#101

Post by camhart »

anon84873628 wrote: post #97
ori_b wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If you are calling out your colleagues for doing bad work, or not the way you would do it work, you should try to rephrase into praise w/ direction. “I really liked how you tackled this, have you thought about this approach?” Instead of “Why didn’t you do it this way?” I don't want to work with people that communicate this way.

Are you saying you don't want to work with the people who use praise w/ direction? That is my assumption about what you meant given that it seems like the contrary opinion and thus the reason for replying. If that's the case, care to elaborate why you don't like that style?

Because its confusing. Don't say that you like something when you don't. It's a failure to communicate.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#102

Post by anon84873628 »

Madmallard wrote: post #86
grey-area wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Your assertion that this sort of linguistic hedge is a lie is itself based on a few false assumptions: 1. That there is one correct way to do something 2. That you know that way, and they don't 3. That they didn't consider and disregard that way in early planning due to something you're unaware of What you see as lying is intended to avoid an arrogant disregard for their time and thought, and also to avoid having ego…

nah people know when they’re sucking and you just look patronizing talking like that ever play any competitive games? theres nothing you can say directly to a person when they screw up. you have to just have to ignore and focus on the gameplay. saying anything to them raises the likelihood of a negative outcome.

That's just not true. What do you think happens when the catcher goes to talk to the pitcher? It's not just strategy.

"Good eye" "good hustle" "you got this" "we got em on the next one"-- good teammates find lots of ways to support their teammates and keep morale up.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#103

Post by function_seven »

anon84873628 wrote: post #97
ori_b wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If you are calling out your colleagues for doing bad work, or not the way you would do it work, you should try to rephrase into praise w/ direction. “I really liked how you tackled this, have you thought about this approach?” Instead of “Why didn’t you do it this way?” I don't want to work with people that communicate this way.

Are you saying you don't want to work with the people who use praise w/ direction? That is my assumption about what you meant given that it seems like the contrary opinion and thus the reason for replying. If that's the case, care to elaborate why you don't like that style?

I'll share my reason. It's phony as hell. If someone is legitimately angry or disappointed with my performance, just say it. Don't construct a "compliment sandwich" and patronize me with that.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#104

Post by graypegg »

ori_b wrote: post #76
gabereiser wrote: post #4

>Ask if it’s ok first… This is very astute. Not everyone likes getting praise in public settings or they might not want their micromanaging manager to know they helped you outside the scope of their work. You should be cognizant of when praise should be given (i.e. when is it appropriate) and in what context as mentioned in the article. That said, if you aren’t thanking and praising your colleagues for doing good wor…

> If you are calling out your colleagues for doing bad work, or not the way you would do it work, you should try to rephrase into praise w/ direction. “I really liked how you tackled this, have you thought about this approach?” Instead of “Why didn’t you do it this way?” I don't want to work with people that communicate this way.

I kind of agree, I don’t want to work with a HR robot. I know someone that talks like this to non-coworker friends and it’s honestly just… offputting.

I’m more into “ehhh honestly not how I would do it. The {problem} will cause issues down the road”. And that opens up a two ended respectful conversation. Someone telling that to me, I’m not going to think they’re being an asshole.

I’ve learned a lot from people stopping me from firing a footgun directly into my… foot.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#105

Post by johnnyanmac »

user_named wrote: post #43
thenose wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not at all. The trick is to force yourself to find something about their approach that you liked. There's almost always something likable. It's also the trick to being liked in general. Not everyone cares about that, but I've found it more of an asset than a distraction.

No, it's absolutely horrible. It means you think the person you're talking to is dumb and can be manipulated with this phrasing. They see through you.

Don't be seen through then. Actually appreciate your co-workers and see the good qualities in them.

Some of y'all are really overthinking the example. If you ever said:

>very fast solution, but you missed this edge case

It's the exact same format. I can praise the performance while also acknowledging that there may be some correctness issues (hopefully not such a nasty edge case performance falls off the cliff, but it happens).

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#107

Post by skrebbel »

anon84873628 wrote: post #97
ori_b wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If you are calling out your colleagues for doing bad work, or not the way you would do it work, you should try to rephrase into praise w/ direction. “I really liked how you tackled this, have you thought about this approach?” Instead of “Why didn’t you do it this way?” I don't want to work with people that communicate this way.

Are you saying you don't want to work with the people who use praise w/ direction? That is my assumption about what you meant given that it seems like the contrary opinion and thus the reason for replying. If that's the case, care to elaborate why you don't like that style?

Im not the GP but it hides all clarity wrt how important the colleague thinks the “directions” that the praise came along with are. If I accept the praise but dismiss the directions, am I being an asshole? Or am I being subordinate? Am I ignoring a direct order? The boss was in the room and they didn’t object to the directions! What does it all mean?

All this is a level of 4D interpersonal chess that you’re forcing me to play that could simply be avoided if you said that you think its worth changing it like so and so because such and such.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#108

Post by freedomben »

hotnfresh wrote: post #46
freedomben wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

what's the difference between "Great work" and "I really liked how you tackled this" ? I assume it's a sports analogy for american football or similar. If you try to tackle an opposing player and you miss or do a bad job, "I really liked how you tackled " is clearly talking about the work, not the effort. If you were talking about the effort, it should be something like, "that was a good attempt!" It's kind of like,…

Webster’s 1913 (as in, the 1913 edition of the dictionary) relates this sense as “grappling with”, as in wrestling, and provides an example from a Dublin University publication to illustrate this exact idiomatic usage we’re discussing. I’d say it’s not derived from American football.

thank you for sharing that (truly that is interesting data), but how do you know that GP was using the Webster's 1913 definition?

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#109

Post by freedomben »

boneitis wrote: post #73
freedomben wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

what's the difference between "Great work" and "I really liked how you tackled this" ? I assume it's a sports analogy for american football or similar. If you try to tackle an opposing player and you miss or do a bad job, "I really liked how you tackled " is clearly talking about the work, not the effort. If you were talking about the effort, it should be something like, "that was a good attempt!" It's kind of like,…

I think their point (in this discussion here) can make sense and remain true to the point (made in the example statement) by adjusting the feedback segue to something like "I really [appreciate that] you tackled this".

Yes, exactly, I agree. That's the point I've been trying (and obviously failing) to get through.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#110

Post by anon84873628 »

user_named wrote: post #43
thenose wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not at all. The trick is to force yourself to find something about their approach that you liked. There's almost always something likable. It's also the trick to being liked in general. Not everyone cares about that, but I've found it more of an asset than a distraction.

No, it's absolutely horrible. It means you think the person you're talking to is dumb and can be manipulated with this phrasing. They see through you.

It's very different talking to strangers on the internet via text versus a coworker in person or video call.

As others have said, the person will know if you are being genuine or not. Which is the real core point; not the particular phrasing you use.

Post reply on HN